Private vs. State for high functioning autism

[MonsterDeCookie]

Our 3.8 year old DS has just been diagnosed as HFA. He has not handled nursery well and we have ended up pulling him out. The Ed Psych/Neuropsycholohist who has been working with him recommended a private pre-prep that she believes would suit him well. We put him down for the assessment for reception which I honestly didn't think he would pass and lo and behold he did. It's a selective preprep that feeds mostly into very academic schools. He struggles in large groups and with lots of noise. She is concerned that he won't cope well in a group of 30. We moved to this house in part to be in the catchment of the local outstanding primary. I like the idea of being part of the community and walking to school but I don't want to make the wrong choice for him.

MonsterDeCookie

Hello, I chatted to you on one of my threads and promised to PM you. I will get around to it soon!

My view is that a hall-style classroom with 90 kids and 6 teachers in it sounds really bad for any child but totally horrific for your DC.

As other posters say, the question shouldn't be private or state schools for special needs. There are good and bad private and state schools for special or extra needs children, so you need to search as many as you can in your area and check which school is the best for your child.

State schools are answerable to the government, whereas private schools are answerable to no one as we have found. Some private schools won't do anything out of the ordinary, eg allow home pack lunches for allergy sufferers, and some private schools charge much more for special needs. Also, private schools can give you just one terms notice to terminate your child's education if they feel they cannot cater for him.

Personally I would seek a good state school, and give your child additional private tuition if required.

Realistically we don't have a choice of state schools. We have the one which is closest. If we get an EHCP we can apply for in an year place but in London's oversubscribed schools that seems a fair long shot. There's also the question of settling him to multiple settings in one year as this has been a HUGE problem
so far.

Yesterday I ran into a mum from our state primary and asked her for her opinion. She was absolutely glowing about it until I asked about SEN. She told me her friends son who is HFA was just suspended in year 2! She reckons they don't cater very well to SEN and heavily rely on the fact that almost all parents will tutor to get the results they achieve. It didn't exactly leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. I wish the head would just meet with us for ten minutes. Sigh.

To the PP who suggested asking how the school will handle it if DS won't do what the rest of the class is doing was spot on. That seems to be the most illuminating question to ask. So far the pre-prep has bent over backwards to talk to us etc. We certainly hadn't planned on paying fees but it should be doable if I go back to work.

Monsterdecookie

I've messaged you, hopefully you've received it?

That's pretty terrible that he head of the state school will not even meet with you. Doesn't send out a very good message.