small class size angst

[peppansalt]

DD is in yr3 at a local independent school. I like most things about the school including the smaller class sizes.

However there are only 5 children in her class, 3 girls and 2 boys. Because of this she struggles with her friendship with the 2 other girls. Think "2's company, 3's a crowd' amplified! All 3 girls are extrovert and assertive but day after day I'm being given tales of how she is left out of everything.

To make matters worse, yr 4 is an all boy class and the girls in yr 2 are very young.

I've tried explaining to her how the girls need to team together as there are so few of them but am at a loss as to how to help her. Tonight for instance, I brought the other 2 girls home as the mums were busy. They completely ignored DD and she kept asking when they were going home!

I know you are worried about moving her because you've already moved her once. My friend has moved her daughter three times in the first 3 years of school - because of home moves. It is not ideal but children do adapt and she settled well in her new school.

You could gently float the idea to your daughter (if there is the potential to move) and find out what she thinks in theory about it.

You can't force children to be friends with each other and it is quite natural for them to form close bonds with a best friend. Without alternative children to play with this is magnified. I can't imagine that a teacher is going to stand over them in the playground and insist that your daughter is included every playtime (or that this would make it a good experience for your daughter if they did as I'm sure the other two will just resent having to include her).

5 in a class sounds socially stifling. 3 is a difficult number. Our small village school has some small year groups but luckily DC1 is in a combined class of 26. DC2's class should have atleast 8. I' afraid I would be looking for a new school if the class was going to be smaller than 8-10.