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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Boys Ballet & bullying

42 replies

nightsky010 · 30/10/2015 00:54

Can anyone tell me if it's still common nowadays for a young boy (eg. 7 years old) to get bullied / get the piss taken for learning ballet? I'm considering enrolling him but am not sure due to this issue. School is Co-Ed and he'd be the only boy taking Ballet. School does not have a reputation for bullying.

OP posts:
dodobookends · 30/10/2015 20:31

Check out the Royal Ballet's 'Romeo and Juliet' sword fight rehearsal on Youtube. Impressive (and quite scary!).

Also, English National Ballet will soon be touring the country with Le Corsaire (The Pirate) - lots of swashbucking action in that one too, perhaps you could try and get tickets?

AFewGoodWomen · 30/10/2015 20:39

Talkinpeece

Irek Mukhamedov

Apparently he used to kiss his partners very passionately. Was renowned for it.

Sounds a bit sleazy now I think of it, but he was hot. :)

TalkinPease · 30/10/2015 20:45

Irek was notorious for trying to get off with EVERY new dancer in the corps

Johan Kobborg's proposal to Alina Cojocaru has to be one of the cutest things ever on the stage though
artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/at-ballet-theater-popping-the-question-after-the-plie/?_r=0

niminypiminy · 30/10/2015 20:45

DS2(9) has been doing ballet now for three years. He's the only boy in the ballet school and the only boy at his school who does ballet. But he doesn't care, and I think any teasing is like water off a duck's back.

That's the thing about would-be bullying - if it doesn't bother you and you walk away from it, it stops. (And my other DS has been bullied so I know whereof I speak - the other one would do anything to fit in, whereas DS2 really isn't bothered.)

caker · 30/10/2015 20:59

I second showing him Steven McRae, he's amazing at tap and ballet and active on social media so plenty of photos and videos of rehearsals etc. He's got the cool factor.

nightsky010 · 30/10/2015 22:33

Thank you all so much for the responses! It makes interesting reading.

DS is Aspergers, so is a very obvious target. He is not 'bullied' but does attract the odd negative comment from other children and he is regarded as 'weird'. The idea of giving him a hobby which might mark him out does make me nervous and part of me thinks that perhaps the benefits of learning ballet do not make it worthwhile. On the other hand, DS is enthusiastic about the idea of learning as he enjoys the curriculum dance lesson, we have a convenient gap in his schedule where we can fit it in and I think there are a lot of benefits for core strength (though he is already very strong) & body awareness / proprioperception which is something DC really needs to work on.

So I'm not really sure what to do? Does anyone think it would be unreasonable to email the ballet teacher explaining my concerns and ask how she has dealt with this before? Or would it be appropriate to ask the class teacher for her opinion?

OP posts:
TalkinPease · 30/10/2015 22:36

Tap dancing is another option
and because of musicals and the like, more accepting for boys

and gives an excuse to watch Fred & Ginger movies

Devilishpyjamas · 31/10/2015 00:01

Ds2 does tap as well. Do you have an italia conti near you? They do all types of dance & always have a number of boys. And then he can just say he's going to Italia & no-one's any the wiser.

Pipsqueak16 · 31/10/2015 12:24

Ds2 age 6 has been doing ballet since January. The only person that's ever teased home about this was DS1 with the ballet is for girls line. Ironically for DS1 in May he went to see DS2 and his dance school in a show. He was blown away and insisted on starting dance classes which meant giving up footballer the very next weekend. They both now do ballet, tap, jazz and modern and end up spending our entire Saturday morning at dancing. DS1 now is extremely evangelical about his dance.
I tell them if they get teased at school to simply remind whoever is teasing them that Rio Ferdinand of Manchester Utd was in the Royal Ballet. It hasn't happened though. There dance school is very cool and is run by a professional husband and wife team at summer school they had a couple of male pro's in for a week so they have had lots of male role models at dance.
As other's have said kids will always find something to tease each other about and if it's not dance it will be something else. It's something they need to learn how to deal with.

user789653241 · 31/10/2015 13:06

My ds doesn't do dance classes(not sporty at all), so it's a bit different, but when he joined zumba, he was chased out by girls. He didn't want to continue due to teasing from girls.
But when he started sewing class, even though he was only boy, and constantly teased, he didn't care. He loved it.
So, if the child loves what he/she is doing, I think they would tolerate a bit of nastiness from others.

enderwoman · 01/11/2015 10:21

There's one boy at our school who does show choir. (It's like Glee where you sing and dance simultaneously)

His friendships tended to be with girls so the boys are very matter of fact that he is the only boy in show choir but I know that some of the girls have commented and preferred not to be paired with him when dancing. The boy has dreams of XFactor or Britain's Got Talent and is very good at standing up for himself.

Witchend · 01/11/2015 15:06

Ds did ballet until he was 5yo when he decided he'd had enough of being the only boy. He then chose to do jazz and tap and has continued it. He's never been teased (and he can be) but he is a little eccentric in other ways so that think it's just accepted as one of the things he does.

nightsky010 · 09/11/2015 06:33

Thanks so much everyone for the advice.

I think we would much prefer Ballet to Tap, but I'll keep Tap in mind in case Ballet doesn't work out.

I will let you all know what I decide to do once I've spoken to the teacher.

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SparklyTinselTits · 09/11/2015 06:49

Until a very nasty ankle injury, I was persuing a career in ballet. I started age 3, and continued all through my childhood and into early adulthood. From 3 years old, there was one boy in my class. He worked his way all the way up along with us girls, and eventually earned himself a scholarship to the Royal Ballet School....
That being said, from starting high school, he was bullied mercilessly by the rugby team at our school Sad wasn't so much an issue at primary school, just as we approached teenage years. But honestly? He wasn't phased by it, and carried on with ballet Smile I remember one occasion when we were about 16, and he was getting the usual "poof" and "oh you're such a fanny" jibes from the usual meat heads, and his reply was "mate, think about it. I'm in a class with 8 girls. I get to feel way more bums than you" Grin
If your DS really has a passion for it, then that will be more important than stupid, playground bullies.
And if he's worried about it, tell him that even David Beckham used to do ballet classes in his football heyday to help with balance and core strength! Grin

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/11/2015 06:58

DS1 started dancing aged 3, because I wanted him to learn the balance, coordination and body discipline that goes with it. He started with tap and then quickly included ballet, jazz and modern. He has the option now of doing hip-hop but prefers not to.

He's now coming up to 8yo, and this year, Y2 and aged 7, is the first time he's experienced any negativity from the boys in his class at school. They are also in his out-of-school soccer team, and told him boys aren't supposed to do ballet. I told him that ballet makes him stronger and more co-ordinated - but also that dancing was good for football players so they can all just mind their business. I also got him to tell his school teacher which boys had said it, and there has been no recurrence since (very strong anti-bulling policy in DS1's primary school)

DS2 has just started - he's also 3 (but was 2 1/2 when he started).

When DS1 started, some of the older girls in his class were a bit off with him (class was pre-school age, so 3-5) but now, they're no problem. I think partly because they're used to him being there, but also because he quite frequently has a pivotal role in the dance AS the only boy. He's not the only boy in tap, there are 2 others; but he is the only boy in ballet, jazz and modern.

DS2 started being 1 of 3 in his dance class, but the other 2 boys have dropped out - 1 because although he apparently enjoyed it, he never moved; and the other due to family reasons. DS2 doesn't care and all the girls in his class are fine with him, maybe because they were all younger when they started?

I think the only thing you can do is try it and see; but also give him the understanding that dancers are some of the strongest athletes around.

Mellifera · 09/11/2015 07:22

My DD2 dances at Italia Conti and there are quite a few boys doing ballet, street, modern, step...
I saw one (maybe 9yo) boy in the modern class before my DD's class and I was absolutely mesmerised. Such talent, expression, confidence and strength! His dancing was a thing of beauty. To think boys like him could have been put off dancing because of bullying when younger makes me a bit ragey.
My DS started singing in a professional choir in year 6, the comments he got from his class mates just washed over him. He's still singing in his choir, he's Year 10.

My advice would be to find a ballet school outside school. He will be surrounded by like-minded people, and his confidence will grow with his achievements.

megletthesecond · 09/11/2015 07:32

dodo we went to R&J a while ago. DS didn't have any interest in ballet but came away seriously impressed by the male dancers, the sword fights are stunning. The male dancers have muscles on muscles Blush. He'd stick up for any mate who did ballet.

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