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Original poster

Overly sensitive 5 yr old can't read...

34 replies

Barbie1 · 21/10/2015 19:55

Where to start?

Dd is 5 and in yr 1, this is her 4 school in as many years as we are expats and move a lot.

She has always been above average, very confident and full of enthusiasm for school.

Not this year.

The problem started last year in reception, the teacher noticed when asked to do something infront of the class she would clam up, further probing revealed she was terrified to make a mistake so refused to attempt the work. For this reason she fell behind on assessments much to the frustration of the teacher as she knew she could do it.

Her letter formation is fine and her handwriting is neat and consistent. She draws brilliantly and is confident in play and will often be the leader....

Yet she just can't blend her words, yet she knows all the sounds, and recognises the letters.

However she Will forgot the word she read only the page before.

She calls herself stupid, a baby and other such negative words Sad

To top it off she has developed a tic which makes her move her eyes in an un natural way making her stand out even more.

Sorry this is long, I'm at a total loss.

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 22/10/2015 12:16

Possibly I am getting confused with a different product that Sounds Founation produces. I have found a link so you can see what it is like.

www.soundfoundations.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/BNA1-web.pdf

Certainly bear necessities is useful for an older child, but a five year old might prefer something with a bit more colour.

lostInTheWash · 22/10/2015 12:44

No that is the one DS did.

He didn't need colour he needed to blend - and he couldn't.

Honestly it's was 10 minutes a day. Few minutes is taken up with going through the flash card of sounds rest was practising blending - putting the letter shapes to sounds and putting sounds together. Practise practise practise and for less than 10 minutes that was doable for him.

There was lots of gee whiz phonics games and stuff at school - that was all fun and bright and didn't practise what he needed. He knew his sound from jolly phonics and alpha blocks - it was literally blending part.

He's not stupid - he's an avid reader now working according to his current teacher at a much higher level than his age range would suggest that they are working to support.

ReallyTired · 22/10/2015 13:13

Some children find blending hard and need lots of practice.

This video shows how to teach blending.

www.ruthmiskin.com/en/resources/parent-tutorial-teaching-sound-blending/

The Ruth Miskin materials are good as well. They are not quite as colourful as jolly phonics but the instructions for parents are good.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 22/10/2015 13:37

Didn't want to insinuate anything Barbie. My DS told me off for my negative attitude to PE which I didn't realise I was doing! He told me it wasn't doing my DD any good. Put me in my place!!

I just remembered a friend whose DD also had blending difficulties. She put it into everyday conversation. Eg go and get your c-oa-t coat. We're going to the sh-o-p shop etc. in the end her DD started finishing her sentences for her! Fun for us if she asked if we wanted a cup of t-ea tea or g-i-n gin!!Might be worth a try.

Original poster
Barbie1 · 22/10/2015 15:19

Twowrongs, I know you didn't.

I'm an anxious person myself and I was adamant that I didn't want the children to see me like it. If anything we are over the top in praising, i love you's etc.

I have saved all the links and I'm thankful for all the advice.

Next week we will start putting it all into practice Smile

OP posts:
TripleRocks · 22/10/2015 19:30

I just wanted to add that my own nearly 5 yo puts herself under a tremendous amount of pressure. She has only done half a term of reception and has honestly been doing really well, but has been lamenting her perceived lack of progress compared to other children and convinced herself she hasn't had the class bear yet because she's not learned enough words which is not true at all.

It is tricky to handle sometimes but I try to frame it in my mind that she is bright, a perfectionist and super determined. That has the potential to be a great set of traits if she can learn to chill out a bit. We also always make sure to praise her specifically for her effort, attention to detail, sticking to the task rather than her achievements themselves.

d270r0 · 26/10/2015 21:11

It sounds to me like someone has made her really scared to be wrong, maybe a teacher from a previous school. I think you (and her current teacher) need to reiterate over and over again that its ok to be wrong, praise her whenever she speaks out in class etc. even if its wrong. (eg. "Thats a really clever way of spelling 'ball', I can see you used your decoding skills, but in actual fact this is spelt b a l l, its a funny one. Well done for giving it a go."
Also, if she comes home upset she 'only' got 8 out of 10 in a test, make a big deal out of it being good. "Wow, you got 8 of them right, thats amazing, well done!"
I think she has very low confidence, you need to boost this by saying how well she has done, even if she hasn't done well. Make her feel good about herself and not afraid of getting things wrong.

VioletBumble · 26/10/2015 21:32

Don't waste time and energy blaming yourself and your DDs upbringing, it's probably largely irrelevant if she is naturally anxious. Focus on reducing her anxiety now (which it sounds like you are doing well). Great that school nurse is on the ball with assessments, hopefully these will help with clarifying things and the best course forward to help her Smile

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