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Primary education

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Original poster

Facebook friends with teachers?

22 replies

Pinklizard77 · 12/10/2015 02:19

I've noticed that several of the teachers at my daughter's (excellent) primary school are Facebook friends with other parents. I'm a secondary school teacher myself and for us this would be an absolute no-no; do people think it's different for a primary school where parents are more closely involved with classroom teachers?

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mrz · 12/10/2015 06:50

It's an absolute no no in my LEA for both primary and secondary.

happystory · 12/10/2015 07:00

Not allowed in our local authority either

Slugonthewindow · 12/10/2015 07:02

For me it's a massive no. But some colleagues grew up with and are close friends with parents in the community. It's hard because these genuine friends open them up to other parents so for them, they need to be very selective in what they post/like/share.

I'm friend with one parent as she was a teacher colleague that I get on really well with. But, that said, I wince every time I see all her school mummy friends commenting on things. I steer well clear.

In fact, as soon as "the steams got crossed" I basically stopped posting. I don't like it but it's so hard as everyone knows everyone.

I have a friend in business recruitment and I was commenting on her pictures when up pops a parent at school, her neighbour and best friend. Truth is, you never know who is reading what you write.

exLtEveDallas · 12/10/2015 07:03

None of the teachers are friends with parents, but most of the TAs are. I am friends with 2 parents (mums of DDs friends that became my friends) and have seen far too many comments that I don't think are acceptable since I started working at the school and befriended some of the TAs. I am friends with a couple of teachers now, and expect I will stay friends when I stop working at the school and become 'just a parent' again, but the ones I am friends with NEVER comment on teaching/children etc.

popandboo · 12/10/2015 08:38

I teach at my DS school. Im in Facebook grouos with the mums/dads in his class. Otherwise we wouldnt get all the info and my DS would miss out.
I hardly post anything in a deliberate attempt to stay neutral, I contact my friends via messenger instead of posting and I have never seen anything I thought was strange from another parent.
Its possible for parents and teachers to get on.

Original poster

Pinklizard77 · 12/10/2015 09:29

Popandboo I don't think it's a question of parents and teachers not being able to get on, I think it's more about professionalism and possible divided loyalties. Just my personal opinion though and I agree that teaching in a school your DCs attend automatically makes you part of two groups anyway.

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Luciferbox · 12/10/2015 10:27

Generally a no no however I live and work in the same village, as do other teachers. Many of us have become friends with people who have children at our school. In a small place it's hard to avoid parents. I certainly wouldn't randomly add parents if I didn't know them outside of school.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 12/10/2015 10:32

I have someone on my FB who has parents on her FB from the school she works in, chats to them non-stop on totally public threads and posts non-stop pictures of their children. I can only assume she doesn't know that you really don't do it.

It isn't a question IMO of "getting on". It's a question of professional boundaries and sending mixed messages to both the students and the kids.

morecoffeethanhuman · 12/10/2015 10:50

I would never add my dd's teachers as I think it would be really inappropriate - wouldn't want to see their nights out relationship rants ect lol!
That being said, I've two of the TAs on my friends list as they are good friends of my mums and have known me since birth! Also quite a few of the parents I'm friendly with have close independent friendships with people who happen to be teachers in our DC school - but they are there in a friendship capacity not a teacher way iykwim.
Its hard to judge as you cant know the previous relationships of these people & being a teacher isn't the be all and end all of a persons life. For instance a friend of mine I've known for over 10years is a primary teacher - if he moved to DD school I wouldn't de-friend him (I would just have to resist taking the piss outta him at the school gates!)

Original poster

Pinklizard77 · 12/10/2015 14:19

Morecoffeethanhuman

Definitely more to life than being a teacher! I'm lucky in a way I work quite far from home so the two circles don't mix.

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mrz · 12/10/2015 21:26

We were all given letters at tonights staff meeting telling us not to add parents, current pupils or ex pupils under the age of 18 to Facebook friends.
There was also warning that inappropriate posting could lead to the termination of employment.

simpson · 12/10/2015 23:12

No teacher are as far as I know but some TAs are.

I am a TA (in my DC school) and are friends with some parents (as a parent capacity not TA!) but don't post much on FB anyway.

I am also friends with a few of the teachers but wouldn't de friend them if they taught my DC next year (but would not be offended if they did!)

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 13/10/2015 06:46

I think it's different slightly if a parent wants/tries to friend teachers....that's just the 21st century version of Jean up the street who used to invite my friend's teacher for her tea (and then guess what? Jean's dd always played Mary and won the Easter Bonnet parade...) Obviously it still shouldn't go ahead, but as the teachers posting on this thread have said, all teachers know you really mustn't do it. Parents perhaps aren't that aware of just how much of a no-no it is.

What is different is when teachers also start making comments about the kids/school, putting photos up etc. Like the person I mentioned. I am stunned every time she does it. It's always in a "look at me how great I am all the children love me" and the parents are all commenting about how wonderful she is, and how Junior cries during the holidays because he can't see her, and it's all just a massive ego boost for her as far as I can see.

I run a language FB group for my teenagers, but it's a closed group and by invite only and they "friend" (if at all) the name on the page profile not me IYSWIM? Once the project is finished every year, I close the page down.

cariadlet · 13/10/2015 07:05

My daughter used to go to the same primary school that I teach at. When she started in Reception I found that people I'd made friends with at ante-natal classes or baby groups were now classified as school parents.

In real life there is not always a clear cut line between a social relationship and a professional relationship. It makes me glad that I'm not on Facebook so I don't have to worry about these things.

toptomatoes · 13/10/2015 07:10

I don't know if teachers at my kids' school are on Facebook but as they are parents at the school too and live in the village I can see how they could be. It must be a tricky thing to balance.

minionmadness · 13/10/2015 09:50

I had a thread a while back asking a very similar question.

For me I think it's a no since it could potentially put a teacher in a compromising position... so why risk it.

Yes some will have been friends before or outside of school but we all managed to socialize with our friends quite nicely before FB came along.

Friendships are not reliant on FB.

tomatodizzy · 13/10/2015 10:08

It depends on where you live. I live in a very small town. I'm facebook friends with a lot of people in town, teachers included. But we're also not in the UK. Teachers are viewed very differently here, their job is to teach, the children treat them the same as other adults they know. Quite a few of them teach their own children, grandchildren, neices, nephews and cousins etc. So it's a different situation. When we were in London I would say only if you knew them before they became your child's teacher. Otherwise it's odd but if you become friends with a teacher then why not? We're all adults although when some people get on facebook that's questionable

trinity0097 · 15/10/2015 15:39

The only parents I'm friends with are also teachers at my school and friends of mine. I don't post anything to their wall other than the usual happy birthday stuff which isn't exactly going to set the world on fire!

YakTriangle · 15/10/2015 15:41

The teachers I know refuse friend requests from the current pupils' parents, but I think add some in later years when their children were no longer at the school.

Original poster

Pinklizard77 · 16/10/2015 00:41

Thank you for your views all :-). I think I am going to conclude that if you were already friends outside school then it's ok, otherwise it's best avoided

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mrz · 16/10/2015 06:10

I would advise anyone working in a school (not just teachers ) to check their school/LEA policy on Facebook before accepting friendship requests and to always check their security settings.

walkingtheplank · 16/10/2015 12:44

This happens at my DC's primary school - I think it is strange that a teacher would be 'friends' with the parents of her pupils.

The situation is muddied by a couple of parents being teachers and all the teachers are FB friends with each other so it is very easy to end up seeing a teacher's comments /status without intending to.

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