Friendship Group turned nasty

[Comingfoccacia]

DD is 7, just gone into Y3. She was part of a friendship group of 4 girls, very close since reception. They started arguing amongst themselves at the end of Year 2 but thought after the summer break things would be OK again. How wrong can I be! The girls have turned on her completely. The two that are on the same table refuse to sit near her, they turn their back on her and say really mean things. One of these girls was her best friend until the end of Y2. The third girl still speaks and plays with DD but is told not to by the other two (one is quite domineering). To DD's credit she gets on well with other girls and boys in her class and in other years and she has a twin brother. She says she doesn't understand why they've turned on her and doesn't want to be friends with people who are like that. But i know she is confused and sad about it. I have spoken with the mums of the girls briefly and the teacher is also aware. I know little girls fall out and I'm not saying DD is blameless but it feels so sad. Anyone else experienced similar?

I knew before I opened this it would be girls (though Y3 a little early for this - it is very usual in Y4/5)!! DD went through the exact same thing in Y4 - she had a huge falling out with a girl in her friendship group. TBH I think it was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other and actually it came down to them both growing up and developing new interests and priorities. The worst bit was the bit you are in, where they are all making a point of not having anything to do with each other and you just wonder why they are being so nasty and can't just get on! In my case both girls went on to make other friends and later progressed to liking each other ok, though they will never be best pals again. In retrospect it was actually quite positive for DD to understand that just because she'd been friends with someone since nursery it didn't mean they would be friends forever and actually it was ok for both of them to acknowledge they didn't like the same things anymore and would rather play with someone else. (didn't feel like that at the time though)

This is just human nature sadly. Just remind your dd she doesn't have to accept bad behaviour and its not her fault.

Half the girls in my daughter's class fell out with each other last year at the start of Year 3. I think it's quite common. In fact, my daughter told me about two girls who had been best friends: 'child x isn't friends with child y. She still lets her play but child x and child z laugh at her behind her back. She thinks she's their friend but she's not really'. Which is so sad to hear about a group of 7 and 8 year olds. I just tried to remind her to invite child y to join in with her instead.

I think you might ask the teacher to tackle friendships in their circle time (or similar) as that's what our school did. I don't think it completely solves it, though because it is part of human nature and unfortunately your daughter is finding out one of the harder parts of life and friendships.

Saying nasty things and stopping the other girl from talking to dd is bullying. I'd be making an appointment with her teacher. Fair enough they don't want to be friends but name calling/ making her life difficult isn't on.