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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

School open days - did dh go too?

21 replies

poocatcherchampion · 01/10/2015 08:05

The school we are hoping to send our children too has offered us a look around during the school day. I am happy with that as we can see the school in operation and I am free to attend anyway

My question is - is it worth getting dh to get time off?

(Ftr this is already our number 1 school as we want to walk to a local school and it is a good school)

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TheHouseOnTheLane · 01/10/2015 08:21

The question is "Does DH want to go?"

If he wants to go then yes...it's worth it. If he's not bothered and he's happy to trust your thoughts on schools then just go alone.

My DH wanted to come to all our school visits....he's very active in deciding which school is best etc....but not everyone is.

Ferguson · 01/10/2015 19:58

Yes - hopefully he WILL want to go, and should be just as involved in ALL aspects of a child's upbringing as a mother. (Unless you 'wear the trousers' and want to keep him in his place, which I hope is not the case!)

Hulababy · 01/10/2015 20:00

Yes, dh came to the open days and visits for dd's primary and secondary schools. He took an active role in selecting her school, along with me. We also took DD to them all too.

ridinghighinapril · 01/10/2015 22:19

Yes, DH has been to all the open days - he's actively involved in these types of decisions and we have equal voice. I wouldn't feel comfortable making a decision about a school without him seeing it and vice versa.
Having said that, it can be tricky for us to both make mid-week tours because we have to take time off work. However, one of us will always go to a mid-week tour of a school we are seriously considering and we will both go to weekend open day.

Savagebeauty · 01/10/2015 22:22

No mine never came to anything to do with school

RitaConnors · 01/10/2015 22:25

Mine went on his own. It's still talked about today. At school I mean 'ohhh, I remember your dh. He didn't know how many uniforms to buy.'

tassisssss · 01/10/2015 22:31

I would want us both to go if at all possible.

BackforGood · 01/10/2015 23:58

No - my dh didn't, as I work part time so was able to.
Unless he has a very big holiday allowance or flexi-working agreement and particularly wants to, it seems a bit wasteful of those precious holiday days to use one for looking round the school that you already know is the one you want your dc to go to.

ThighsofThunder · 02/10/2015 00:44

Mine is a shift worker which, whilst annoying at times, is great for things like this. He will always go if possible.

Blu · 02/10/2015 06:09

Yes, most we went to together, but because of work we each did one without the other.
But if he has visited on another day, and you are not facing a difficult dilemma, and feel happy with the choice overall , I would go on your own (but with your DC) and report back. Better to use the day off for a family outing.

If you are struggling to make a decision, or reach a concencus , or have doubts, best to go together if possible.

Blu · 02/10/2015 06:11

Can he go to an evening session? And you do he school day?

Ragwort · 02/10/2015 06:54

I guess it depends on how 'easy' it is for your DH to take time off - some employers are incredibly difficult about when you can take time off like my current employer.

But yes, my DH did come with me to visit every school our DS attended & go very involved in school life (became a Governor etc) - but as he was/is self employed it was obviously a lot easier.

I would find it hard to be married to someone who didn't take any interest in their child's education - but that doesn't necessarily mean having to attend the open day.

Neddyteddy · 02/10/2015 06:59

He needs to choose - either you go alone and you make the decision about schools or you both go and both make the decision about schools

Neddyteddy · 02/10/2015 07:00

He's got to trust you to decide if he's not there

PowderMum · 02/10/2015 07:14

We didn't have visits for primary school, but he did take DD to her preschool taster session as I was 5 days post birth of DD2.
For secondary he wasn't in the country (no choice it's his job) so I took both DD and the three of us chose together and he supported our decision. To be fair it wasn't a difficult one and we were pretty much decided before we went.
He has done all the university visits to date, as his current job is much more flexible than mine.
In general if we have both been available for school things such as this or parents evenings then we both go, if not whoever can make it goes and shares the information. We trust each other to make a good decision for our children, this gets easier as they get older as they can voice their opinion too.
I have always been active in the schools PTA etc, this is not his thing.

redskybynight · 02/10/2015 12:50

It sounds like you have our situation - you basically want the school and are only going to check if there is something so awful that it would put you off!! In this case, presumably you and DH have already agreed on the school in principle, so if he can't get time off it's no particular big deal. I think having him involved would be more important if you had a genuine choice to make between 2/3 schools.

Mrsbennington · 04/10/2015 23:20

Mine didn't but then he trusted my judgement and I discussed all schools fully with him before we made a decision. If I'd had any doubts I would have asked him to go and see it too. We quite often operate like this as I have more time to make recces than he does.

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr · 06/10/2015 11:32

Like redskybynight if you're only going to see if it's that horrible that it might change your mind, then there's little point wasting holiday on going I'd say. The chances of seeing something that bad is slim and won't make a jot of difference which of you go.

Millionprammiles · 06/10/2015 13:40

We split them (we both work so both have to take time off). For our favourite one we're both going.

slightlyglitterpaned · 07/10/2015 20:05

One was an evening session (don't know how common this is), the other is a morning one.

We're both going to all visits. DP has different things he wants to look out for, "feel" is very important to him & he wants to see how the teachers seem to talk to and how they interact with DS.

We've been to one so far and he had a totally different impression of the head to me. As we'll both need to talk to her during DS's time there, this is important.

BikeRunSki · 07/10/2015 20:09

DH had to trust my judgement. He was working away, and I was on maternity leave.

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