Rookie parent question #2

[TripleRocks]

Yesterday, there was an incident involving DD at school where a boy was in trouble for smacking her.

Nothing was said to me by school, but the boy and his Dad approached us after school in the playground, I think to try and apologise and was visibly upset with tears in his eyes. It crossed my mind to go back in and ask the teacher what had happened but I wasnt sure I was getting a straight story from DD as she was showing me a graze on her knee which I know was nothing to do with a smack.

Anyhow, this morning I asked her again and it turns out he was pulling faces so she pushed him and then he smacked her. He got in trouble with the teachers but she didn't because no-one saw her push (I think).

We know this boy from nursery and I have reason to believe he may have additional needs which would have made it difficult for him to communicate to the teacher what really happened. Given that, it feels especially unfair that he start school under a bit of a cloud over this, especially as he may have bigger hills to climb.

I feel I ought to say something. Should I say something to the teacher, the Dad, both, neither? I appreciate it's not a massive big deal or anything but still, it's not sitting right with me that this boy was in trouble with school and his parents over something that was clearly six of one and half a dozen of the other.

I would have a chat with the teacher and maybe try to make friends with the Dad. However I am still a rookie parent too as my eldest just started reception so I am not an expert at parent/school politics!!!

Is your class teacher fairly approachable? Ours would appreciate a quick word, just so that they have the whole picture.

You can mention it to the teacher, if you see her at the door and feel like you need to do something.

However, one incident at a playground will not create any "cloud", and will be quickly forgotten. These sort of things happen all the time. Both of my girls' have legs full of scrapes and blue marks. They play, fall, etc. Sometime run into other people at the playground.

Even if the boy was pushed, and that was observer, he still would have been told off for smacking your daughter. This is why you have not been told anything by the school. They deal with these things daily.

I would also mention it again to daughter that she should not push.

Yes I certainly have reminded her she was wrong to push him MMmomKK.

I did mention it to the teacher, who checked with the TA who was supervising them outside and neither of them knew anything about it The TA said he was told off for other things yesterday but not anything involving DD (poor kid).

Why the boy and his Dad approached us to apologise and why he was upset I have no idea. All a bit of a mystery but I was able to let DD know that the other child was not in trouble with the school on her account, which she was relieved about. I'm sure it's all forgotten about by now. Thanks everyone for the advice and reassurance.

Sounds like Dad was maybe pulled in to talk about the other "things" but no names will be given by the school and when he has asked the little boy about it he has told him that he smacked your daughter and therefore he thinks this is one of the "things" that the school were aware of.

Yes that would make sense.

All this stuff seems like such a minefield! I guess it was being approached by the other parent that threw me into a bit of a spin. Glad normal service has been resumed

I've got teenagers, it doesn't get better :)