DS 4 - glue ear and behaviour problems - what should I expect?

[Secretescape]

Just that really he had a brilliant start to reception - no problems at all. Then last few days behaviour has deteriorated and he's had to see Deputy head.
We told school in all the paperwork about glue ear, discussed it on first day and yet his marked change in behaviour didn't make his teacher think "oh dear maybe it's his glue ear".
I get that he has to learn to control himself and can't just push other children, but surely there is some way of managing him when his behaviour is like this due to not hearing and being tired/ frustrated. Eg an adult moving him away from scenarios where there's likely to be trouble.
My concern is that it's only September and if we're already experiencing a lack of support at this stage or will be a looooong winter as things will probably get worse before they're better.
He is under ENT already.

No we don't - I can ask the school. His last hearing test was good but they did say it would go down when the glue ear came back.

Thanks for your replies - good to know that I can get in contact direct.
I actually made a GP appointment when the sudden change in behaviour started and it was confirmed today that he has build up of fluid and the start of an ear infection.
It just makes me so sad that his good start has been overshadowed by this. He loves school but they are just not helping him to manage :(

Sorry cross posted - I will ask to see senco. I originally asked for him to see ENT when he was one so that we should be able to avoid this situation. Unfortunately his grommets are out now and it seems the old problems are returning.

Have you been in to speak to the school about the behaviour over the last few days and options for how best to manage it?

I was just told his behaviour is completely unacceptable.

Dd is 4 and also has glue ear, she wears hearing aids and is extremely well behaved for everyone. I wasn't told that she may have any issues with her behaviour.
Our teacher for the deaf is incredible and available at the drop of a hat to advise and support us.
I feel sad for you all that you are not getting this support.
Remember that he's just a baby really, uk kids go to school so young, this time last month her was a pre schooler, deal with him in the way you would have then. Starting school is such a big deal for them, they feel so many different emotions.
Dd is very articulate and in the last few weeks has expressed so many different emotions and anxieties from worrying about wiping her bum to what she would do if she became full up at lunch time.

OK, that bit doesn't sound very supportive, but I think that you need to approach the school in the first instance.

I'm not sure that an adult shadowing him to avoid situations where there might be trouble is a viable option. But there might be things they can do to help reduce the tiredness/frustration which might improve his behaviour.

It can happen with children who are having to concentrate a bit more, ledkr, but I'm not sure how common it is.

I have to admit that a few days of bad behaviour in new reception starters wouldn't immediately have made me think glue ear. There's a few other things I might have thought first. I'm not sure that the teacher is at fault there really.

Maybe he's a bit anxious. Have you asked him?

Have you asked about aids? Dd can't have grommets as she had a cleft repair but I was also told that grommets aren't that popular now as they fall out a lot.

Even though we told her it would happen if/ when his ears were blocked again?He was an angel for the first 2 1/2 weeks then suddenly changed. She didn't even ask if we knew what might be wrong.
He is very bright and learnt to talk by lip reading. He is funny and kind, but already we are both feeling a bit battered by this experience.

Get onto the advisory service pronto and get them to call a meeting with the school.
How this is dealt with now will impact upon him greatly and I am shocked that behaviour problems have been suggested A so early and B in one so young.

Thanks for all your suggestions - hopefully things will be put into place once we meet the teacher and senco.

I have 2 DC with glue ear issues. Their hearing goes up and down like a yo yo in winter. One is on low level long term antibiotics and the other has permanent holes in their ears. I let school know and they have made adjustments and keep an eye out for issues. Job done! Your school need to be more accommodating

Ds is in year 3 and has had glue ear from a baby; he's on his third set of grommets, one is out though and the other coming out.

It does effect behaviour, however I don't think that is generally known by teachers.
Saying "he may have glue ear and that can effect his behaviour" doesn't necessarily help a teacher who has 29 other children and doesn't personally know your ds.

A lot of children are angels for the first couple of weeks, and then it sinks in that school is more permanent, and they start getting tired, and they start playing up, so blaming the teacher for not noticing is not really fair.

With ds I am always informing the teacher, even now, any changes. Ds went back to school after illness on Tuesday and I spoke to the teacher and said that his right ear is totally blocked and probably will stay that way until Spring. I have told her that he may switch off into his own little world, particularly towards the end of the day when he's tired, he may need to look at her to lip read, he may try and guess what he should be doing, so not doing what he's meant to may be not hearing rather than naughtiness, and that if there's a lot of background noise he will struggle as it gets painful for him.

When he has the next ENT appointment I will let her know how his hearing is. If I notice change, I will let her know.

In reception the teachers got to know him so well they could predict an ear infection by his behaviour. BUT they had to get to know him first. It wasn't a case of automatically knowing, they had to see the correlation because ds is perfectly capable of being naughty on his own.

What they did do in reception was a behaviour book where they wrote several times a day good/bad things. it helped to see a pattern. With him he struggled with a lot of background noise so lunch/break were difficult. And tiredness-Thursday afternoon was particularly bad. They couldn't, and I wouldn't have asked, spare an adult to follow him round to remove triggers, however with the behaviour book they pointed out a couple of things that were triggers and could keep an eye out-not entirely eliminate- for them.

And I'd request an early appointment with ENT (ours will bump you up for a cancelation in such circumstances) and explain that it's effecting him at school.

Hearing aids used here too although having every classroom sound amplified can be exhausting too.
Awaiting grommets now.

School are right to address poor behaviour - we can't make excuses for our kids all the time even if we are sure of the cause.

Hang in there. It's path of the course x

I would be surprised if a teacher of the deaf would come out for a child with glue ear. My son's (two form entry) primary school had four children with hearing aids in reception and I don't think that they had support from the teacher of the deaf.

Reception is tiring and overwhelming for children without glue ear. It is hard to seperate what is glue ear from ratty four year old.

My son had grommets when he was younger and later on he had hearing aids and his school bought a soundfield system. Initally they borrowed equipment from the blue peter lending library to see if it was helpful.

The problem with glue is that a lot of ENT specialists choose to do watchful waiting. This is because grommets are risky and glue ear often clears up by itself. Hearing aids do not entirely correct the problem. I think that hearing aids are good for children who are waiting to see if the glue will clear up by its self or for those for whom grommets are unsuitable.

The national deaf children's society has an excellent book that gives teachers strageries for using with deaf children. They have a really good forum with people who are more knowledgable than the average mumsnetter. There are strageries that you can use at home as well. For example if you need to talk to your son off then its a really bad idea to shout. Its important to make sure your face is not in shadow and to pick a room that does not have lots of hard surfaces like a bathroom. (echoey)