Boys, fine motor skills - when did it get better?

[HeisInfuriating]

I have read lots of threads about children, mainly boys, with poor fine motor skills which makes handwriting very difficult for them.

DS 5 is summer born, now Y1. I know he is weak in this area and I do a lot to try and help. Gym, Martial Arts, Lego, crawling, playing etc. He has a special box of toys to strengthen his hands.
School are putting in an intervention where he will get some extra outside classroom help to improve fine motor skills. This is once a week over ten weeks.

Today, my DS cried going into school because he hates writing and it's too hard. He is a smart, happy boy and this fair broke my heart.

I have mentioned to his teacher he didn't crawl, is ambidextrous (only consistently used R hand for writing very late in YR) and asked whether he gets a tilted writing surface and pencil grips, whether there were any wobble cushions? She just stared at me blankly. She is very young and nice... making her not very experienced. But then I'm not either.

Did your son suffer with this? What happened? Did he 'catch up' and if so when?

I've read so much about it but I'm looking for reassurance that it evens out eventually. I have an older DD8 and whilst not comparing, I have something to compare to IYSWIM. She struggles to be imaginative yet has beautiful handwriting. Putting her stories on paper doesn't interest her. She draws! But DS has such a vivid imagination and wild stories.... and he can't put them down for his handwriting.

Oh bless him. DS (now 8) has always struggled with fine motor skills (handwriting, rubbish at anything "crafty", two left feet)

As of end of Yr3 his Presentation Of Work score came under a "Cause for concern" heading as his handwriting is far behind his classmates. And to be honest, there's not a lot of help out there, bar the draw-over-the-dots-to-form-the-letter sheets. He's now expected to do joined up writing

However, what I found helped was good old, practise, practise,practise. During the hols, he wrote in a diary every day and it really did improve as the weeks went one. I found he was rushing far too much and simply by slowing down there was a vast improvement.

Another thing was explaining to him that there was no point having the correct answers to anything if nobody could read what he'd written. Harsh maybe but he didn't like the idea of not getting a good score so that spurs him on a bit.

I do explain to him though, that whilst it's important to be legible/neat (for the reasons above) it's certainly not the end of the world. And as long as he takes his time, tries his best and the words can be read, then that's fine enough.

Do you know he is weak because you have been told that he is compared with similar boys of the same age, or only because you perceive him to be? It may just come in time.

Gym, martial arts and crawling are all to do with gross motor skills, not fine.

Lego is good, as is colouring, Hamma beads (you can get maxi ones), peg boards, kinex (though maybe too hard). Playing with clothes pegs too. Someone else will be along in a bit.

Both my DD's have motor skills issues (bottom 1%). It's not easy.

Shakey that's a good message and one I will remember as he gets a bit older.

Teen&
I think he is behind, although I can only compare to girls in my family and friends boys... But they can all colour in etc and my DS can't even hold the pencil.

Suggest you ask the teacher whether he is OK, a bit behind or a lot behind. They will see loads of children and are better able to compare. If the teacher is young and inexperienced, you could ask the head of KS1 to check for you.

It is possible he isn't really behind at all just a boy and young in year. Which would explain the blank look when you asked re writing slopes, wobble cushions etc.

It is a balance between pushing to practice stuff (which may just put them off the whole thing), and hoping time will sort things out. If the school is doing intervention that helps. You could try to sneak in writing practice, e.g. Christmas suggestions lists. DD2 now in y6 has improved a lot over the past couple of years, and now does tracing pictures for fun. (Still a battle to get thank you letters written though!)

I think def behind, I was given this info in YR but they always follow it up with, oh he's young, it's R don't worry.

Except I am now worrying because clearly DS is worrying.

He is in a very young class, they split by date of birth and there are around 8-9 boys younger than his June bday.... So heavy on the summer born boys... Whose work is on the boards in YR and birthday cards etc are a different league to DS

Firstly don't be fobbed off with the "he's very young" "he's a boy" response. It doesn't help.

Good handwriting requires upper body stability as I'm sure you realise which us why the crawling, gym, monkey bars, wheelbarrow walking really help. I'd also recommend working on a vertical surface such as a whiteboard or chalkboard or even paper blue tacked to the wall.

He also needs strength in both wrist and fingers to control his pencil. If you need ideas I can post a list.

If you are concerned you can ask your GP for a referral to a paediatric occupational therapist or the school may be able to arrange screening for possible issues.

Thank you Mrz
I would appreciate a list.

Funny thing is, I have read one before on different threads and it strikes me that teachers see the small young boys with issues and of course they leave your class and rise through the school. How often does a teacher get the child back to see how they've improved or caught up?

It's like the school net is wide open for them to fall through because next year someone else has to deal with it.

This is sounding familiar. DS aged 6.5 has been flagged as making little progress in Y1 with handwriting - almost because it lags his ideas so much, as much as being behind the average expected by his peer group.

We bought a 3.15mm Stabilo Easy pencil. They were on offer on Ocado recently. This has improved his grip massively and he says he feels more comfortable. We had an OT assessment and she noticed that his fingers were "popping up". He can touch his thumb (bent back) to his forearm which indicates hyper mobility. Worth asking your DS about. Not a lot you can do but our wee man appreciated the info about why he needs to put more effort into it than his classmates; he now agrees to write more now.

I got Write From the Start from Amazon and also the Greatest Dot to Dot Book In the World 1. Neither are about letter formation but help with pen control, building muscle and movement planning. He just thinks they are fun :)

Our teacher seems to be working on settling the letters on the line, shape formation and reducing size.

Over a month we have seen some good progress, but if problems persist we might go for a retained reflexes assessment with inpp. I only mention this because you say your DS didn't crawl and is ambidextrous which might be relevant.

Since starting to help my son, friends and colleagues have told stories of their handwriting difficulties. Most haven't felt these were ever entirely resolved but so far no one has felt it held them back either.

Good luck!

yes but mine crawled - and while our other DC like me are ambidextrous he was very defiantly right handed.

It took till year 3 to get a writing slope in school and it was year 2 before the put in him in a group with extra support for co-ordination and writing and stopped with all the he's a summer boy it will come.

We have writing slope at home, tired various pens and grips and have done Write From the Start from Amazon. Also done letter formation practice as found that wasn't always right back in year 2 and even in yr 3 he's slip into previous bad habits.

Done many of the suggestions that mrz has previously posted to improved co-ordination.

He also writes a lot at home due to the program to correct his spelling so he doing a fair bit of writing with me around. So I insists he sits correctly and that letters are formed correctly and if I can't read what is there good chance I'm going to assume it's spelt wrong so he'll have to do it again- just because I'm there noticing.

It's taken time and we are still working on it really but there have been improvements. He writing isn't the neatest out there but it is now usually legible and it more and more often even neat and well presented. He is year 4 now.

There wasn't ever a it's all sorted moment more lots of things have all done a little to help and it's all slowly made a difference - as I suppose him getting older and having more control of body movement though I don't know if waiting alone would have got us to the current point.

DS is getting Physio for weak gross motor skills. His fine motor skills are weak because his gross motor skills are weak. When we build up his gross muscles it will feed down into his fine motor skills.

He's also getting occupational therapy. He has a slanted board and a wobble cushion in school. It might be good to get your DS assessed by an OT as the equipment that suits one child might not suit another. The equipmentKea a big difference. DS is so much more comfortable writing on a slanted board

Both my boys were terrible at writing and anything arty or crafty. They went to a primary school (overseas) where they put a lot of emphasis on writing skills and presentation but it didn't seem to make a joy of difference. They are now adults and their writing is still truly awful. They don't seem to give it any importance and I don't think they ever cared that it was so bad. I not sure it was ever poor motor skills or poor attitude with them. They can both play complex video games which, presumably, require good coordination.
I am sure that there were times when they lost marks in their exams because of it.

Ones studying engineering and the other is a medical student so it's not held them back even though I doubt either of them could colour something in neatly even now. My DDs both have beautiful handwriting and can do all sorts of lovely crafty things. .
I wonder if we had been living in the UK whether my sons would have warranted help or whether it was just a matter that they had poor writing.

DS was like that in reception and through year 1. To be honest I think part of the problem was people saying summer born boy - fine motor skills - and not expecting much from him. Then again a more motivated child wouldn't need someone else to expect it, they'd just do it themselves.

Fine motor wise I think he caught up a lot during year 1, started properly drawing and colouring and things. Handwriting however got worse over year 1.

This summer holiday we spent a few minutes every day getting him to write a diary. Just 3-4 sentences. But with correct letter formation, immediately re-writing any words that had gone wrong, and practicing any letters that were causing problems. Also used handwriting lines which seem to make a huge difference for him on their own.

Doing just a tiny bit but doing it all right, consistently, for 7 weeks, has made a huge difference. Compared to school where he was doing lots of writing, but resenting it, and reinforcing more bad patterns than good because he naturally couldn't be supervised most of the time.

All sorted? Too early to say, but he seems a lot happier writing and he and we can now read what he's written.

tricot, which Stabilo pencil did you find helped? Was it the mechanical one with the rubber grip, or the ordinary one with the indents on the side? My DS is struggling with this too and I'd like to buy one.

I have found that the Faber Castell Grip pencil worked well for my son

Here is the pencil type although other colours seem to be cheaper: www.amazon.co.uk/STABILO-EASYergo-3-15mm-Mechanical-Pencil/dp/B002SADK3E

I also found this website useful (if daunting): www.teachhandwriting.co.uk

Sorry I should have said watch out you order the correct left or right handed easy ergo as required!

Thanks tricot
I have put the stabilo pencil and write from the start in my Amazon basket (car needs work so waiting for the bill!)

I'm going to tackle this slowly and confidently (to DS at any rate) and try to cover the gaps which hopefully are the same as the ones school identify.
BUT
I think he lacks gross motor so their fine motor input is useful of course but if the gross is lacking to begin with then perhaps it's a wasted effort at this point in time.

Poor boys.... It's something they seem to suffer not the girls so much.

(Is it me or do most boys need to grow into their skulls the same way puppies grow into their paws??) (and the same doesn't seem true of girls))

Sorry but it's a child thing. Not a boy thing. Boys don't have any disadvantage in comparison to girls and are both just as likely or unlikely to need help. Why does everything arm seem to be ' poor boys', boys are so much slower to read/ write/ learn control/ potty train/ talk.. no they aren't.

Sorry to offend in anyway Artco
It's just my personal friends and family experiences.

I hear it more commonly spoken of boys and my DS

My ds 10 and still uses stabilo pencils happily.
He is left handed and maybe relevant or not. He would be described as naturally clumsy and loves playing music but fumbles with his fingers more than some of his friends. He finds this frustrating.
However doing well at school despite not being as dextrous as some.

My DS is 7 in year 3 and struggles a lot with writing. It's been an issue right from Reception. He is left-handed which doesn't help, also was ambidextrous for quite a while until he finally settled on the left. He is also young for the year (August). He has trouble forming letters, still gets numbers and letters back to front, and I despair at the idea of him doing joined-up writing!

As a toddler his little hands were always so chubby (the rest of him wasn't!) - his fingers were like sausages, no wonder it look him ages to be able to hold a pencil properly! I don't think his fingers lost the sausage-ness until he was about 5.

We have always had lots of drawing materials in the house but he just isn't interested. We have chalk boards, white boards, magnetic boards, colouring books, the lot.
My DD has always been quite crafty and is constantly drawing and writing, but my DS never voluntarily picked up a pencil until he was about 6. We have always tried to encourage him to draw and write, but its like pulling teeth. I feel he is finally at age 6.5 / 7 starting to WANT to draw but its still only occasionally. I know from looking at the handwriting of other children that his is way behind.

School are always on our case about it, but don't really have any solutions. Basically they say he has loads of great ideas and his language skills are very good but he really struggles with getting it down on paper. I do worry how he will progress through school, especially in the higher years when they are expected to do a lot more independent work.

(On the other hand, he is a brilliant reader, he reads independently all the time, so at least I don't have that worry.)

A physiotherapist can give you exercises to build up his gross motor skills.

My DS has been doing physio for a few months now and when we went back for for a check up last month he said there was a noticeable improvement. DS is no longer slumping when he sits down - he is getting stronger. He needs to have the strength in his gross muscles to hold himself up properly - and once that is under control we can set about improving the fine motor skills.

My DC's school does a programme called dough gym and funky fingers - there are numerous resources if you google the term 'dough gym'.

They use the programme in the EYFS class with nursery and reception children, but they also use the programme with older children whose gross and fine motor skills need a little more development.

What always surprises me is how my DS can manage to be dexterous when he is using the computer game controls but not with a pencil...

You've had lots of great advice here OP so I won't add to it in terms of suggestions, but I can tell you my DS1's story. July born, DXed with Aspergers in reception, very poor fine motor skills (assessed by an occupational therapist as being at below 1st%ile for motor control). Could barely write his name (and it was only 3 letters bless him) by end of reception, really struggled with pencil grip, couldn't cut with scissors, but was a flipping whiz with Lego.

He has just started Y7 and finished Y6 with level 5s for reading, writing and SPAG and yes, his handwriting isn't perfect but it is neat and legible and if you'd told me then what I know now in terms of what he'd achieve then I would not have believed you.

I would say he started to close the gap between him and his peer group around Y2, and to move it up a level (he finished Y6 on a higher level for writing than many of the DC who had easily out stripped him during KS1) somewhere around Y5.

My advice would be lots of practice, make it as fun as you can, incentivise with sweets or screen time or whatever floats your DS's boat in terms of what might motivate him to keep on trying. Keep his self esteem as high as you can. Praise his efforts. There is so much you can do to help develop those fine motor skills and the smallest amount of extra work can help.

It is 'typically' viewed as a 'boy thing' to struggle with writing, drawing and fine motor stuff, but as others have pointed out that really isn't a fair reflection overall. I have three boys. DS1 (now 11) as described above. DS2 (nearly 6) who wasn't really interested in writing or drawing etc before starting school but just seems to pick everything up quite easily and now writes/draws really nicely (and is keen to write/draw). And DS3, who's 2.5, and can hold a pencil with near-perfect grip and cut with scissors now better than DS1 could do at 6 They are all different. But for the ones that do require some additional input, don't despair.