quick survey: how often do you invite classmates round to tea....

[thirtysomething]

How many at a time ande what do you cook them? Do you always wait until they have reciprocated until you invite them back? Just curious as ds and dd seem to have a friend round each every week at the moment - am I overdoing it? They do usually get invited back by the kids but sometimes I wonder if we should make it a less frequent thing!

I would do it only under duress when the kids were smaller and not very often 'cause I worked. Arranged it if the kids really pestered but it wasn't necessarily a reciprocated thing at all.

Easier now the kids are older - they make arrangements about who they're playing with and friends go home for tea. Too much hassle after a long day.

Hardly ever as I find it too stressful

Virtually never, except during the holidays. We used to do it more when they were younger, but now they have had enough of socialising after a long day at school, and just want to chill out at home.

After long days at school myself I'm not about to try and persuade them otherwise

Since Sept DD has had two friends around. I tend to quick either a spag bog type of thing.

dd has one really good friend (who's since left her school) that prob comes round every week-two, then she prob has one more (goood)friend every month, I suppose. don't really invite classmates I don't know (well, I would if she asked me to)

did have one instance when I invited one girl who was in her class at the start of term and she never issued return invite, so kind of camn't be arsed with the whole playdate thing atm

DS (year 1) has about 1 every two weeks. It's mainly the same few children and he goes to their houses too.

I've was advised by the teachers to keep it up as DS needs to learn to socialise and interact with children more as he tends to converse etc with the adults at school and in the playgroup.

I did invite 3 once and it actually worked really well but I'd be cautious about doing that many again in case I was just lucky the first time

We always include tea in the invite and pick up time is always 6pm.

I do either something I can pre-prepare or something that they can help to make, ie. shepherds pie, make your own pizza, chilli con carne.

I have turn down requests though from DS to invite certain children home - either I have no idea who the parents are and so it would be tricky or I am just not that familiar with the child in question.

DD started school this September. We gave 1 or 2 children round each week, and DD goes to friends 1-2 times a week (normally averages 2 or 3 playdates a week).

All innvolve me cooking. I collect (or DD is collected) and take home from school at 3:25pm, and they are collected around 6-6:30pm, having had dinner together.

Don't always reciprocate in turn. DD goes to one friend's house every Tuesday - her mum asked if she'd like to go rather than afterschool club as it is my one late work day.

I like it. It keeps DD busy after school and she is having fun. Was worried when she started school that things like this would be a nightmare as people at the school come from all over the city (private not catchment). But it has been so hectic - but fun

Oh, and normally have one round at a time. Except for two girls who often come together as them and DD are a bit of a trio at school.

Thanks for all your posts - it's very interesting to see how often other people do playdates - I usually find I initiate the first playdate, in that DD or Ds mentions a particular child a lot and I approach the Mum or Dad to ask the child for tea - neither of my kids has ever been invited without first inviting the other child round to our house. Maybe I'm too pushy but I like to think I'm helping them to widen their circle of friends a bit. It helps get to know other Mums in the playground too.

Never, as I only have tea at home myself once a week. On the days I work I pick dd up from care club then go to my mum's to pick ds up and have tea. Dh teaches from home twice a week so on one day we will have a sandwich upstairs out of the way and on Fridays we all go to Stagecoach

Never, as I only have tea at home myself once a week. On the days I work I pick dd up from care club then go to my mum's to pick ds up and have tea. Dh teaches from home twice a week so on one day we will have a sandwich upstairs out of the way and on Fridays we all go to Stagecoach

Two or three times a term. I usually wait for them to reciprocate before inviting again but it would depend on circumstances and of how sure I was of the friendship between my DS1 and the other child. DS1 always asks for pizza so usually just buy a nice pizza but try to have homemade muffins or cake on the go, usually have fresh fruit, jelly and ice cream for afters too.

I find that people with just one child are more likely to organise playdates - obviously really. I have two boys very close in age, and if they want to be sociable they can be sociable with each other! Also if one of them has a friend to play, we get the "three's a crowd" dynamic; so it's easier to have two friends round to play. But that takes quite a bit of organising/co-ordinating, and tbh after a busy day at work ...

I just can't be bothered with a house full of children or even phoning round doing the organising!

My boys know that I mean it when I come home with a face like thunder and tell them I need them to
go upstairs and find something to do quietly

At the moment, we are doing one most weeks. She also does swimming one afternoon after school.

However, we are only doing it for an hour or so, straight after school. I haven't yet had anyone round for tea and DD hasn't been invited for tea either. She's in Reception and just too tired to be sociable by teatime.

These are all with particularly good friends, one of whom is at a different school, so we have to make an effort to keep in touch. I haven't been brave enough yet to invite any kids that we didn't know before school - but there are a couple who are clearly becoming friends, so we might be getting there.

As little as I can possibly get away with TBH. I have an arrangement with another parent for Beavers every week so DS2 (8) goes to that child's house for tea one week, and I have her son the next. Other than that it probably works out that DS2 would have another friend over once a fortnight and tends to go back to the same friends' houses at the same kind of rate. I don't count up exactly "whose turn is it", especially with parents I like who work and find it had to reciprocate, but if I think someone is taking the piss then I'll stop inviting. I also have an arrangement for DD (3) which give me and her friend's mum a couple of child free hours once a week and DS1 is old enough to sort himself out! I have no problem having kids to play, and would do it more often if it could just be a couple of hours after school then home before tea, but the food thing drives me crazy. Maybe I'm just lucky, but my kids eat what they are given and would never dream of throwing food on the floor or saying YUK in a loud voice when something is put in front of them so why on earth should I tolerate that from other people's kids. I've now been doing this so long (big gaps between kids) that I'm on zero tolerance, one strike and you're out

once or twice a week, & ds goes to others about the same. good fun, & 2 can be easier than one. i don't like the clearing up though.

Glad I'm not the only one Roisin!
We tend to do it about twice a term but I will invite 3-4 at a time(dd1 and dd2s friends) then do a buffet style tea of pasta/ppizza/garlic bread etc

never, ds2 is in reception but ds1 is severely autistic and it's too difficult to ave extra children. If/when ds2 makes an extra special friend then of course I would. I tend to think that inviting people who are lukewarm towards ds2 to his house might actually spanner the chances of a friendship blossoming.