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Primary education

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Original poster

My child has been reported to the head by another parent.

18 replies

peppajay · 22/09/2015 16:52

Does anybody know the procedure that schools use if another parent has complained about my childs behaviour towards their child??? Another parent has reported my son to the school for bullying and has asked for it to be sorted immediately. I heard that he had made a complaint about my child via FB. When I spoke to the Head today he said 'it is being dealt with and I am not to worry'. Am I obliged to be contacted if there is a someone complains about my child. I was called into class regarding the said incident but I was assured all had been sorted.

OP posts:
tiggytape · 22/09/2015 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shannaratiger · 22/09/2015 18:29

The other parent is completely out of order for complaining about your child on FB! Shock
Don't worry about it, parents aren't usualy informed unless it's massively serious. Leave the school to sort it out.

Original poster
peppajay · 22/09/2015 18:32

Great thanks. Just wasn't sure on the procedure. Head said me and my child have nothing to worry about so I guess if they need me to be involved they will contact me. Just hope there is nothing I am not being told - I was only ever aware of one incident last week which I was assured had been sorted.

OP posts:
MissBattleaxe · 22/09/2015 18:34

On Facebook? on a newsfeed or via PM?

LIZS · 22/09/2015 18:37

No I wouldn't have expected it. As long as the incident itself was properly handled at the time then the parent should n't be complaining. Perhaps there have been further issues. By the sounds of it they are still unhappy, but whether with your child or the school remains to be seen. Whichever Fb is an inappropriate medium for this.

tiggytape · 22/09/2015 18:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starlight2007 · 22/09/2015 20:12

I have spoke to the school about other children and incidents that my DS has come home about..The reason been it is much quicker and efficient dealt with by the school and both sides of the story come out.

I did report children for bullying..In the end I asked the school to contact the parent as she kept coming to me asking what was going on..To be fair she was the last person I wanted to talk to.

PlayingSolitaire · 22/09/2015 21:13

In my school, their is an escalation proceedure for bullying that goes from reporting it to the class teacher to the headteacher (more points to it than this though), so the issue could have been escalated to this point. Or if the parent feels let down and feels like the school haven't dealt with it properly or serious incidents have occurred, they might go straight to the Head teacher.

The head teacher wouldn't necessarily tell you as the other parent unless there was more or serious incidents. If it was the parent complaining about the bullying being ongoing and not dealt with and the school disagrees and thinks it has, they wouldn't tell you.

When you say you found out through FB, was this the other parent saying "I've reported X to the HT now" on their posts? Or did they make some comment about bullying and say I've taken it to the HT now and not actually mention your child? Or had they told another person who told you via a FB PM? These are all very different situations. Number one isn't acceptable, but 2&3 are.

Original poster
peppajay · 24/09/2015 17:23

I found out as the dad had moaned about a bully and the incident on fb- no names mentioned and tagged his partner so I commented - 'doesnt sound good- hope you get it sorted' having absolutely no idea they were talking about my child, - obviously she then answered back calling me all the names under the sun for commenting as isn't it obvious it is my child who is the bully. I honestly don't think my son is capable of what she says he has done - but surely if he has I need to know. When I spoke to the HT he said not to worry. So how do I find out if my son is bullying or not. He has aspergers and is a little different to other kids but I don't like him being called a bully. It has gone through my head that maybe he is being a bully but surely if he is being as vindictive as these parents make out I would have informed wouldn't I???

OP posts:
zzzzz · 24/09/2015 18:23

This reply has been deleted

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rollonthesummer · 24/09/2015 18:26

Get a screenshot of that conversation and take it to the head.

SteamPunkGoth · 24/09/2015 18:28

Try & get a screenshot.
My school does inform the other parents.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 24/09/2015 18:36

DD was badly bullied for months. One boy would.kick.her and call her names. I sent several emails for it to be sorted. It never was. His mom didnt know anything. Its terrible practice because. 1) every parent will be talking about your child 2) they get away with it because you dont know 3) they have a hard time at high school if not dealt with at junior level.
I think you have a right to see the complaint and deal with him accordingly. I would want to know.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 24/09/2015 21:05

But Sally just because a parent complains that another child is bullying their child doesn't mean it is true.
Sometimes children will tell their parents about a child being horrible to them, but neglect to mention what they do to the other child. The parent then complains to the school who have a different take on the situation, as they can see both sides and know it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. The school won't contact the other parent about claims of bullying if they believe them to be unfounded.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 24/09/2015 21:10

Ok, not really about the rights and wrongs, but ... if a school receives a complaint about your child, then I believe that parent has the right to know the details. How would you feel at work if knew there was a complaint but werent told what? I would need to know.

starlight2007 · 24/09/2015 21:48

I agree with the screen shot...

I would not accept the nothing to worry about... I am guessing the school don't think your child is a bully however It think as it is on social media you need an explanation.

lurkinginthenorth · 24/09/2015 21:57

Bullying is NOT a one time, two time or a couple of incidents against a child.

Bullying is an ongoing onslaught of terrorising, abusing, assaulting, name-calling (even ignoring!) another child for a continuous amount of time. The 'bully' is the same person/group and the 'victim' is the same person who is having the bullying done to them.

Some parents exaggerate the term 'bullying' to mean a bit of name calling, fight, threats etc after ONE incident!

I wouldn't worry though. if the school haven't contacted you, the class teacher has dealt with it and your DS isn't talking about it, I honestly think the school are taking a 'shrugged shoulder' approach to a situation that is probably small but has been blown out of proportion by parents who make it their business or have nothing better to do than spread gossip via social media and are maybe 'professional complainants'.

Sit back and watch it blow up in their faces.

PlayingSolitaire · 24/09/2015 22:10

Hmmm. I would be so sure about the school contacting you being an indication it never happened. Several serious bullying incidents happened towards me son, several of which I witnessed. The school kept telling me they would speak to the other child's parents and never did.

I think you should go and talk to the school again- with an open mind that your child could have done whatever the other parents believe he has. You know the details- they shouldn't be fobbing you off either. You have a reason to know details- did your son do it or not?

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