Tips for supporting an introverted child in primary school?

[Fingerbobs]

Just that, really. DS (almost 8) finds noise particularly difficult, which is tricky in a class of 30. As a complete extrovert myself I'd be v grateful for any insights/experiences/practical approaches/views on how to help him.

I listened to an interesting TED talk yesterday on The Power of Introverts which may give you some thoughts...

Thanks blaeberry, I've read her book but hadn't watched the talk and it was just great.
I've also found this where she makes specific recommendations for the classroom:

Her thoughts include:

• to build quiet time into the school day, especially when kids are younger. Have 15 minutes set aside every day where the students just read.

• reforming recess. Open up a classroom and let students sit and play board games in small groups, or read a book, or just hang out and chill

• less group work in general. 'Think - pair - share'. Also teaching children how to work on their own.

And some interesting things about the 'flipped classroom' which might be a bit more for older child

Any thoughts from teachers? Some of whom at least must themselves be somewhat introverted...

I'm a highly introverted ta. I would have him sitting on the edge of the classroom, far away from the whiteboard-if the teacher talks a lot it can be tiring to process. introverted children love a calm classroom- some teachers are fabulous at creating this- others seem fine with disorganised and chaotic. having a library/book corner or even just a book to escape to is good too. Sometimes introverted children will have an extroverted best friend. Introverts often enjoy being the scribe in group work. Whilst art lessons are going on some teachers will have quiet music or a story tape- I love the classroom then. I needed a lot of downtime at home not doing much in order to recover from a school day. being sent on little errands to escape from the classroom for a few moments can be good too.

You probably know this, but just recognise that it's totally draining for him to be in a crowded loud environment for hours on end. Introverts don't necessarily dislike busy places. But we find such environments hard work, and need to recharge our energy with peaceful time away from people, or failing that, disengaged from people.

Encourage him to have some down time straight after school if he seems to want it. He might not want to chat with you on the way home. He may like to spend time alone in his room. Don't push the after-school activities or playdates unless he is asking for them.

Share with him what you are learning about his needs and reassure him that it's perfectly understandable for him to feel stressed and suggest some coping strategies which he might try when he has options. At school he often won't have options, but there might be a few things he can do. Other times he will have more options.

As he gets older, talk to him about what types of environments he likes, and how much time he wants to spend there. Even an introvert may enjoy a party occasionally, but he may not be happy working in a big open-plan office or on a building site! He'll have more choices the older he gets. Once he has left school he will never again HAVE to spend all day in a busy loud place five days a week.

That is really helpful, thank. TheTrouble no, I'm not. I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss potential strategies for dealing with introverted children but of course I realise there are 29 other children in the class and a lot of other pressures to deal with.
The thing about after-school's a bit stressful as DH and I both work FT. But I must admit it does resonate. Oh dear.

Thank you again for the input.

What childcare do you use? Might a childminder work better than, say, an after-school club?

At our school the library is open at breaktimes for those who want to hide!
And bear in mind that introversion is not exceptional, it's very normal and teachers are well used to handling children at both ends of the intro/extroversion spectrum.

My DD finds after school club the hardest bit of the day, I'm afraid. It might be worth you talking to the staff there about what strategies your DS could use there. The quieter activities are often craft and do seem to attract girls more than boys - possibly it is harder for boys to get downtime there? Realistically he is not going to get alone time at after school club or with a CM, but he might find a CM environment easier. OTOH, conceptually I like ASC because it's on their "turf" as it were, so they are in a familiar environment.

This may be completely overthinking (I hope so!) but if he is struggling at school you might need to look at the whole 24/7 set up. There will always be 30 kids in his class but that is only for 32 of his 100 or so waking hours in a term time week. What spaces can you carve out in the other 68 to help him recover from the necessarily noisy 32? Keeping half terms and holidays low key also helps, ie limit childcare where possible or, failing that, find somewhere low key where he has some choice of activities. Personally (and for my DC too) we keep stress levels down by keeping ourselves topped up with enough downtime, rather than trying to make the hectic times less hectic IYSWIM. But I'm obviously not your son, and you know him best.