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Primary education

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Original poster

Moving my DD's school at end of October (year 3)

9 replies

flamingnora · 16/09/2015 17:06

My eldest DD is 7 & has just gone into Year 3 at her prep school. It was never our plan to send her to an independent school, l won't bore you with the reasons why she's there, but she is and she loves it there.
Since she started there a lot has happened, her dad & I separated (3 years ago) and he moved to a flat right near to a very good state primary, where my younger DD (aged 4) has been for over a year. We put DD1 on the waiting list there (without a great deal of hope she'd be offered a place) and yesterday we got the call to say there's a place going in year 3 & when can she start.
I have no doubts about the school - which is lovely. I am just feeling utterly sick about moving my kid when the school year has already begun & when she loves her current school.
I've asked to meet with the headteacher and she has been lovely & very helpful & I'm seeing her on Friday morning to talk about moving her. I don't know quite what I'm asking here & I'm sorry to ramble, but maybe someone out there has been though something similar & can offer words of wisdom or advice? We haven't told her yet & we won't until we have our story straight and we know what's happening.

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temporarilyjerry · 16/09/2015 17:14

We moved DS2 at Easter last year to the school that DD attends. We also did not tell him while we applied and appealed for a place. When we told him, he was not happy and threatened all sorts (barricading himself in bedroom, run away from home, "You can't make me go.") On the day of his visit, I took a morning off school as DH was not sure that he would be able to get him through the gates. He trotted in as good as gold and when he was asked if he was looking forward to joining school B, he said he was. He still prefers his first school but is actually much happier and relaxed in himself. I know that we made the right decision for him. Mum knows best. Good luck, OP.

Original poster

flamingnora · 16/09/2015 17:22

Thank you SO MUCH for that. Really helpful. x

OP posts:

Squidiot · 16/09/2015 17:23

Depending on your contract you'll have to give a term's notice so could theoretically be liable to pay fees until Easter.

Not saying that this would stop me moving my own dd but it would bother me to pay fees for nothing...

Having said that, a place in a popular school doesn't come up every day so if you are happy with the school you should definitely take the place if you think your daughter can cope with the move. (I say that because we moved dd1 when a yr3 place came up and she lasted all of two weeks before we moved her back!)

Millymollymama · 16/09/2015 17:32

I am unclear about why she cannot stay where she is. Is she living with her Dad so the journey is difficult? Or do you just use her Dad's address to get places at the state school without the children actually living with him?

Original poster

flamingnora · 16/09/2015 17:40

She can, theoretically stay where she is but I pay the fees on my own and it's killing me financially. Also, for logistical reasons it would be good to have both kids in the same school. Clearly, if I thought her long-term happiness was at risk, I would suck it up and keep her in her current school. I know I'll end up having to shell out for loads of fees but at least I'd not be paying the fees for next 3 years.
Also, and this is possibly a separate conversation, but her current school has annoyed me about several things lately (like, I still don't have her report from last term...) so I'd not be sorry to see the back of it.

OP posts:

Original poster

flamingnora · 16/09/2015 17:40

She lives with both of us 50/50. She lives with her dad as much as she lives with me - and for the record, I now live in the catchment area too.

OP posts:

Squidiot · 16/09/2015 17:49

I'd do it and move her sooner rather than later. She's only just a week and a bit into yr 3 so I'm not sure I'd wait to the end of October either. Finding a good state school is like gold dust in many areas and they won't hold the place for you for long. In your shoes, and with the younger dd already there, I wouldn't hesitate.

Original poster

flamingnora · 16/09/2015 18:03

Thanks Squodot! x

OP posts:

Enkopkaffetak · 16/09/2015 18:42

We moved (Some years back) dd2 in April. We went different direction to you though from from state to private.

DD2 was worried about the move despite having had a taster day where she had said she loved the school and wished she went to school there.

On the morning we went there and there was a whole load of year 6 boys waiting outside to go on a trip somewhere. DD2 literally froze. One of the boys saw her and called out " hey boys move a new student here" and they all shifted making a path for her smiling to her wishing her good luck

result was she skipped into the office and for the 1 1/2 year we had her there she loved it.

Not once did we regret the move.

Due to a county move we had to also move again when dd2 was going into year 3. She was far better about the idea of the move than dd1 and ds who had only experienced the 1 school before.

We moved in September so commuted the first 2 weeks from old county to new so they could start with the others in early September. I actually don't think it made any difference. What time of year we moved.

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