Tiny school or huge school? Which is better?

[GudrunBrangwen]

I have an 8yo and also a toddler who will be wanting to start school in a couple of years.

Currently my 8yo is at an enormous junior school (450 children or so I think) where he has been for about 9 months and he isn't very happy. He came from a medium school of about 210.

He is well behaved and academically very good, but he is possibly autistic and we are waiting for an assessment; he also has a speech issue, and the other children have been commenting on this and calling him names.

School SENCO is marvellous, I really like her, and I think they may be on top of it now but he's still not fitting in.

I have met an old friend this morning whose child is at a village school near here, which I had never thought of really - it's a bit more of a drive but not much. (say 15-20 mins instead of 10)

There are about 80 children there, and classes are joined up so Y3 and 4 together etc.

Apparently there is far more attention given to the children and it's very friendly.

I wonder about moving him though on two counts: first of all, another change is always hard to manage - so he would be more disrupted iyswim - and secondly, would he fit in any better with the children at the new school, or would it be just the same?

I suppose no one can say, but I would really value opinions based on the size of school and so on.

Thank you in anticipation.

Sadly, there's no right or wrong answer, only what is right or wrong for you.

On paper, I always thought a small school would be right for dd and we looked very carefully at schools on paper. We then visited lots of schools and what we thought we knew was often turned on its head. We went with a school we would have dismissed on paper.

There are advantages and disadvantages to both. Can you have a look at what it is you think your ds needs that isn't being provided at his current school and specifically make enquiries about how his current school might address this or whether a different school might be better suited to his needs.

That's no help at all in answering your question, I know.

It's actually very helpful, thank you - I know what you mean about something working on paper and then surprising you in real life.

I'm going to look at it on Thurs but not sure whether to take him with me or not.

One thing with the small school is that he would have a little friend in the same class already, which may or may not be helpful - but I like to think he would be pleased about that.

His current school is doing everything possible. I like the HT, like the Senco, don't really know his class teacher yet but she sounds alright.

It's just that it is vast. And he seems lost, and I know I feel lost still after 9 months! I barely know a soul. And the parking is awful which means he walks to and from the car park alone every day, which I hate. Not sure how the parking is at the smaller school - I will check! In fact probably drive up there today.

Impossible to tell without knowing the child. I personally prefer big schools, simply because they tend to have more on offer and better resources. They can react if things go wrong (move class etc) and the pool of potential friends is bigger so a match more likely.

There can of course be a lovely familiar feel to a small school. The problem is there is not a lot that can be done with no other class in the age group to go into if he doesn't fit in well.

Has school addressed the name calling? A school change because of low level bullying is a drastic move when it could and should be dealt with without the upset.

Yes, it came to a head last week and we had a meeting and they have spoken to the class - and given ds a place in a social skills group which tbh I'm not sure he needs, but still - they have done what they can for now.

There are some sweet children obviously and some less sweet ones (!) but it isn't so much that - it's just the fact it is a really big school and he feels, I think, very small and invisible. The Y5 and 6 children have also taken to calling him names. He is quiet - too quiet really - and when people say things he doesn't tend to respond, he just stands there.

This seems to encourage them. But it isn't his fault - I just think he would possibly feel safer and more 'normal' in a really small school.

I don't know, and it's very difficult to say isn't it - but I think we will go and have a look together if he is up for it.

Personally, the idea of dealing with the parking for another, erm, 9 years or so fills me with utter dread!! There will be one year's crossover between ds2 and ds3, so ds3 will start when ds2 is in Y6. And the infant school is a bit further away so I'll have to park elsewhere for that too, which is also a nightmare.

The main thing is ds2 though and I will see what he thinks about the idea.

at them calling him names. Poor kid! Glad school seems to be dealing with it a bit.

My DS goes to a small school and I think it's been really good for him. But I do feel like he misses out on some educational opportunities and also when he's older he might quite like the anonymity a bigger school would bring.

All depends on your child so no good advice here, I'm afraid. Good luck!

DS1 is in a school of around 25, with 3 in his year. He's sensitive and thriving, the children really look after one another, there's plenty of adult support, superb facilities and a teal effort made to do "more" due to the size.

The school needs to be clamping down on the name calling. And don't be afraid of asking them to do more.

I would be wary of a small school because:
it will have less money and resources for anything "unusual",
they can be cliquey - and if your DS does anything wrong everyone will know about it,
he may have a friend out of school who goes there, but how much of a friend this child will be in school is an unknown,
there are fewer children, so fewer possible combinations of children for the teachers to try - if he doesn't get one working with X Y and Z there may be no other children of similar age/ability to work with,

450 is not "enormous" there are primary schools with 700 or more.
If your DS has SN issues, then a bigger school often has more resources to deal with it. A small school is unlikely even to run a "social skills" group. (If your son has ASD he will by definition need it, if it is worth anyone's time.)

Thanks both, I like the idea of the children working together as a sort of team as they all know one another.

Have had a drive up there this afternoon and it was busy with cars, but I think easier to park in a sense as it was along a road and not in a tiny car park. It was quite a long drive though and along some narrow roads...can't imagine it being fun in the winter! Unless we got a 4x4

Ds sounded pretty excited about it, after another day of being subject to some nasty behaviour - but he has made some friends where he is, so he is a bit torn. I don't think we will know till we go and meet the teachers and so on.