Pre-Prep or Prep for Boys?

[Luckygirlcharlie]

Hi. I have a 1 yr old DS and another boy on the way. I live in SW London in Nappy Valley and the nurseries and schools are all totally oversubscribed - state and private. We are looking to go private and I've looked around a few schools and registered DS1 with 3 - one of which is 4-8+ (pre-prep) and the others are 3-11+. All the schools are co-ed and are fantastic and if I had girls I'd be spoilt for choice. With boys though, I'm worried that at the top of the 3-11+ schools (age 8+) the classes are majority girls, because even though the schools are clear that they don't prepare boys for 7/8+ entry, many do go off anyway. I don't want DS to be outnumbered by girls to that extent, because i think (from my own experiences), that it can put boys off a bit, particularly where singing, drama etc is concerned - and just generally might not be ideal. My other worry is that if he's bright, (obviously no way to tell right now), I'd like him to have a shot at the heavy hitters with intakes at 7/8+. If he's not, then staying put at the prep until 11+ is obviously the better option. But as you need to decide a year before, so when they 2 (next year!!), it's impossible to know how bright they are - right? So if I choose the preps that go to 11+ he may miss a chance at the likes of Kings / St Paul's (whose 11+ intake is much smaller than the 7/8+), but if I choose the pre-prep and he has to move on at 8+ regardless, he may be average (or worse!!) and then where do we go? We'd have been better off at one that finishes at 11+. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE!!! Any advice appreciated! Thank you! x

We opted for a school that goes all the way to 11+. Didn't want ds to be put under pressure to prepare so early on and want him to really enjoy the early years and develop his thinking. A lot depends on personality and emotional maturity and so choose a school that will suit your ds.

Thanks mop but how do you know so early? The offers are sent out a year before so we have to accept and pay the deposit - when he's 2.5 ish. Will I know by then how emotinally mature etc he is? I have an inkling he's not daft but who really knows - it's big risk. I'm erring towards your way of thinking though. It is a lot of pressure at 7.

Have you looked at Newton Prep, Thomas's? They both do 11+ and 13+. Having been through prep exit with 2 boys (not at those schools though!) I would want the opportunity to either leave at 11 or stay to 13 and look at all my options as you discover the strengths and weaknesses of the boy. Or if you live close enough to Northcote Lodge, you could do Broomwood Hall until 8 then move to Northcote - but beware, the vast majority of those boys are prepped for 13+ boarding schools, not the likes of St Pauls, Kings or Westminster. Or how about Eaton House pre prep and then moving to Eaton House the Manor...?? (I'm north of the river, so can't comment on what these schools are like from the inside).

What's you're longer term plan? (Such as you can have one at this stage, of course!)

Because a school that finishes at 11+ leaves you two years to cover if you want a secondary that starts at 13+. Of course that's do-able, but just something to think about.

If you want to minimise the number of selection points your DC has to withstand (and have some fingernails left yourself, after you chew them to the quick each time you have to transfer) then choosing a school that goes through to 13+ but which also preps for 11+ is probably the least stressful. If you then decide on a 7/8+ transfer, you'll probably have to arrange the specific exam preparation yourself but will have the fallback that if it doesn't work, he can carry on at existing school - again a stress reducer.

Newton Prep would be worth a look, as would the Thomas group of schools.

You don't know at 2.5 what your child will be like emotionally at 4.5. I do think you know if your child is engaged, curious, has some spark. DS has totally surprised us by transitioning to reception much much better than we thought. He also has had social difficulties at nursery which made me wonder whether he had aspergers. However, I think he is starting to engage. So much can change in a short space of time. We made our decision based on the type of education and environment we wanted for ds - genuine focus on intellectual development rather than passing exams. We wanted an academic school, which was gentle particularly in the first couple of years. We stayed away from the hothouses and found a school with equally good exit results. I waited until ds was 3.5 to try and get a waiting list place for the school I thought would suit him best. Luckily, a space came up last minute. We are all very happy with the route we took as he is in an environment that suits him.
All the best with your decision.

Thanks everyone. We are in Putney so the ones we are registered at are Prospect House, Hurlingham and Roche. All go to 11. I love them all Prospect House starts at 3 which is great. We are also registered at Merlin (4-8+) and Lion House (3-7+). I like Merlin particularly as it's mainly boys and has a lot of male teachers. Maybe that doesn't matter at this stage, but I liked it as DS seems to be very boy-ish already! Also I'd love (as would so many) him/them to be bright enough for Kings (or St Pauls if they are phenomenally bright, but not if they're not - I don't want them scraping through and languishing at the bottom of the class their whole school career.) So Kings is the holy grail and 7/8+ is the best chance. 11+ is small entry I believe. The only 4-13+ school near enough is Rokeby which I'll definitely visit, but the admission system at 4+ is by ballot so I'd be concerned about having 2 at different schools. At 7+/8+ it's entrance test so Merlin would work there too. Re senior schools, I'd love Kings or Westminster or Latymer maybe. Dont really want them to board, but if it seems best for them Ill consider it. There's Fulham Prep but it's a bit of a trek. Foof. Stumped!! I really want them to be settled and happy but in the asbsence of one that goes to 13, the 11-13 gap worries me as does the possibility of missing the boat at 8 for Kings......Sorry for the tome!

Hi there, we also live in Putney and had to make a similar decision several years ago when our eldest son was little. We went to look round Merlin, Hurlingham, Colet Court, Fulham Prep, Thomas's Fulham, Thomas's Battersea and tried to gauge whether we wanted pre-prep then separate prep or a school that went through to 13+. We chose continuity to 13+ in the end in the school that just 'felt right' for DS1 as we walked through the door - he was 3 by then. And we had to find a way round a full registration and waiting list once we decided...!

So you may find that as you look round nearer the time, you just get a feel about where your son would be happy which is what ended up governing our decision rather than entry/exit points. As you've registered him at lots, you'll get lots of choice!

Also, when they're little, you really can't tell where they'll end up later on - DS1 is off to Eton next year and until Yr5/6, boarding was simply not on the cards in anyone's mind and certainly not the school I was probably most prejudiced about....

11+ for boys is very limited if you want the big day names round here - they take very few compared with the numbers of boys who live in the area. So to me, a school ending at 11 is risky unless you love it.

Kings takes approx 56 boys at 7+ and 10 at 8+, Colet Court takes about 36 at both ages. Westminster Under, I have no idea about but is ferociously competitive at 11+. If you really want the big name day schools, you'd be best with Merlin then heading on at 7/8+ or at a school ending at 13+. You could ask both Prospect Hse and Hurlingham's registrar for a breakdown of boys' exit schools at 11+ - just check that when they say 3 into Kings, 3 into Colet and 3 in Westminster, it's not the same 3 boys.

It gets easier to choose as they get nearer to Reception age and you get a better sense of their nature. Hopefully you won't have to pay a deposit till nearer the time or at least it will be refundable with a term's notice?? Good luck!

Thanks everyone - this has been really helpful. x