Prep school or good state primary for Grammar entry?

[silversixpence]

DH and I are not sure what to do for the best with DS aged 7. He is at a good primary school with a wonderful head teacher who has really turned the school around since she joined a few years ago. He enjoys school and finds the work easy on the whole, but is not really interested in doing more than the minimum to get by. He has also had issues with sometimes severe shyness (mostly out of school) which has been assessed by the borough special needs psychologist - she thought it was not likely to be ASD or outside the normal range but wanted to keep an eye on him and review once he joined the juniors (the infant school is separate).

We are considering sending him to an independent school to help with his confidence, and to stretch him academically especially in weaker areas such as English. He has been offered a place at a very small selective independent with only 11 children in his year group. It has an excellent reputation for getting children into local superselective grammars and independent schools but is limited on other facilities, e.g. sports, IT, library etc. The other school is a more well rounded traditional prep but focuses on independent school entry so he might need additional tuition for grammar entry.

We can afford the fees but have 2 other dc and would find it a stretch to have all 3 in private education. I am also not especially keen on private at this age as the state primary actually has better facilities, extracurricular activities etc but I worry that he will not develop in confidence and reach his potential if we don't move him at this stage.

Any thoughts?

Anyone with advice? Especially if you have moved your child.

Thing is, what works for one child might not for another. I'm quite keen on purposeful school moves but my initial response to your OP would be to keep him where he is.

Given his severe shyness and the fact that you already have someone keeping an eye on it I can't see an advantage in moving him to a very tiny school with limited facilities. Surely he'll gradually gain in confidence from shared activities (sport, library etc) at his own school? What he might gain in academic focus at the second school could easily be overridden by loss of other opportunities.

As for the traditional prep - utterly pointless unless you want to follow the route to public school. People always seem disappointed and distressed when the prep doesn't orepare for 11+.

I would look at independent schools for secondary, not now. I cannot see how a class of 11 helps with shyness. Just keeps him in a small bubble which will not really help prepare him for any secondary school.

I work in a very small state school with an average of 14 per class (mixed aged).
The children are all very confident whilst in school, but when they are taken to sporting events for example with other schools, they look like rabbits in the head lights.
Larger groups of children make them nervous and shy.
We find lots of ours can struggle when going on to secondary school as they are not used to the numbers.
Personally I'm not sending my dcs to a small school because of my experiences.

My son is at a prep school they prepare children for grammar and independent secondary school routes.
If he is happy maybe leave him where he is and top him up with tuition...If the grammar route doesn't work out then consider private for secondary which may help with his confidence ?

Thank you for the views, its very helpful. I do really like the state school but he is not progressing well in some skills in e.g. handwriting, creative writing and reading. We encourage the reading as far as possible but he is not an avid reader. The small school is quite academic but he seemed to enjoy the second assessment day he had there. I have friends who have sent their children there and they all seem confident and outgoing and have done well at secondary (both children at grammar). However they were probably not as shy to begin with. The concern is that because he is quiet and doesn't cause trouble he is easily overlooked in a large class.

No decent state school overlooks anybody! As a school governor, I can assure you the Head and class teachers positively live, eat and breathe assessment and progress of children. Also never ever assume that just because other children succeed at an independent school, your child will do the same, especially where academic prowess is concerned.

What if your child is just not so bright as these other children? Why do you think the state school is overlooking him? What have they not done? Why would they not be interested in his progress? This is not a scenario I recognise and I think it is not reality in this day and age of the Data Dashboard, constant monitoring, and numerous inspections!

silversixpence for what you would pay in terms of fees for the prep. school you could pay for a number of 1-2-1 tutors.

Many people, granted not all, who sent their DCs to prep. schools for 11 plus prep. also use tutors.

State schools do not prepare children for the 11 plus so, depending on how hard it is to get into the Grammar and the types of exam format used you may need/like to use a tutor to prepare, in which case academic weaknesses will likely be addressed then.

I can't help with the shyness unfortunately as it could just be something that will improve with age.

One reservation I would have with the small prep. that is preparing children for super-selectives etc. is that it may adversely affect your DCs confidence if he is surrounded by very hard working, academically able children as he may start to doubt his own abilities. I could be wrong and he may thrive on the challenge but I would suggest you look into it a little more.

Thank you lots to think about. I appreciate the points about a small school being counter productive, it is a bit of a risk but my husband feels it would encourage him to engage more with the class as there would be nowhere to hide iyswim. We have been trying a gentle hands-off approach so far and have noticed some improvements in the past year (e.g. he will now respond to a greeting from a new person whereas it was almost impossible before!).

We absolutely aren't criticising his state school btw, in terms of facilities it is way ahead of the other schools as it has wonderful grounds, lots of clubs etc. I just find that the staff are stretched due to the class sizes and mixed abilities so simply don't have the time to give more individual attention.

Without commenting on he other aspects of your post, if your question is simply State or Prep for grammar entry, then the fact remains that no primary schools prepare for the 11+ test while many prep schools finishing in year 6 do. But don't be fooled by leavers' lists from any school in an 11+ area as a significant number of parents in both sectors will have had their kids tutored.

But you have said your son is happy where he is and that he is already on the radar of the SEN psychologist. Those 2 things count for a lot. Smaller classes aren't a panacea for all issues - personally I'd leave him where he is and make sure he is getting support in any academic areas where he needs it.

I'd question if a grammar would be the right school if as you say he's only interested in doing the minimum to get by.

He's 7. Leave him enjoying learning and progressing at his own pace.

As pp said- put him in a hothouse environment where he has to work- that could backfire if he's not that sort of child.

At 7 mine couldn't read and wasn't interested in reading. She's now top band for literacy age 11. The initial phonics, biff etc can be boring. He'll find something that catches his imagination and he'll be off.

He's only 7 Elevator. Plenty of time!

I'd worry more about an exceptionally shy child - once he gets into the swing of self motivated study - never lifting his head from a book. I'd be keen to get him running about, causing havoc with a gang of chums, learning resilience through teamwork, so think it would be a shame to lose the better outdoor facilities.

I don't know OP - how do you think he'd get on at a grammar school if he's been kept very quiet until then? (And what if he doesn't get in?)