First dress-up day looming. What the hell can I do for my reluctant son.

[RatOnnaStick]

He's reception age. They are doing Alice in Wonderland in a couple of weeks. He is entirely likely to refuse a costume. Or even part of a costume so no big mad hatter hats. He detests dressing up.

What am I going to do?

Let him go in his own clothes, or uniform or whatever he is happy wearing.

I would just give him a deck of cards in a bag, or he could wear a plain t shirt with a number and small space on the back (drawn with a felt tip)?

Spade!

The tshirt - cards thing might work. I think there will have to be a very big bribe involved.

If all else fails, send him in in home clothes (or uniform if he insists ) but with the T-shirt or whatever in a bag, so if he changes his mind on seeing everyone else he has something to put on.

These days are meant to be fun, not cause stress.

Think there's a lizard in Alice in wonderland, does he have green clothes he could wear?

The problem we have is that he will not want to be different to everybody else but he will not want to wear any sort of costume - he's quite afraid of the whole idea and always has been. Nursery book days were always a nightmare, he would cower in the car without his uniform on but the one time I did just accessories and he saw all the other littlies in costume he burst into tears.

He won't want to go in costume. He won't want to wear his uniform because everybody will notice and he won't wear own clothes because thats wrong too.

This will cause stress and will not be fun for him at all.

Could he go in school unifirm + cap and be Tweedledum/Tweedledee? I realise that this is the wrong Alice book though, but you'd just be demonstrating your wider appreciation of the books.

DS used to hate costume day too at that age. I only managed Book Day by letting him go in his uniform plus a name label as one of the boys from the Narnia books on their way to school!

Maybe you could ask the teacher to tell him a coloured t-shirt would be a perfect costume? Sometimes they give much more credence to something teacher says than what mummy says....

could he dress in grey, grey trousers and jumper/tshirt. And just carry around a gigantic clock (maybe made by covering a frisbee with tin foil/gold wrapping paper and sellotape and then sticking on a clock face), with a chain attached to it. So he could be the rabbit that is worried about the time?

Think that might be a white rabbit, but think grey might make him feel a bit less conspicuous! Or something else where the main costume part is a prop but once you ditch the prop you're pretty normal looking. This approach worked with one of my reluctant DC!

Send him in uniform with home clothes/costume bits in a bag and then he can choose when he gets there.

You are not alone on this one. Ian lurking for ideas myself. Have you any idea which character he likes best? Could he go all in black as a puppet master with a cut out of a character? My DS will go to great lengths to avoid being in the limelight but with little steps he is getting more confident

My two hated dress-up days - wish teachers could see the anguish it causes some kids.

Anyway some things that helped:

Teacher telling them it was OK not to wear uniform that day (obvious to the rest of the class but not to them as it's a rule you wear uniform at school).

Teacher talking about what they might wear.
School providing written instructions / text reminder for dress down day so I had something to reassure them with that it was OK.
The boys helping make / choose the costume so they had lots of time to get used to the idea.
If they were too anxious they just went in in school uniform. Usually, one parent or another had forgotten about the day anyway so they were not the only ones.

I did try the costume in a bag trick but that was usually against the rules in their mind too so didn't work that well for us.

My DS hates dressing up too.

I'm a Reception teacher myself and would not bat an eyelid if a mum came and told me that their DC hates dressing up but I also appreciate that he won't want to be left out!

Could he wear a white t-shirt, black trousers and go as the mouse in the teapot? If he will tolerate it then face paint, if not a really simple hat with a mouse face on. A basic band with a mouse face glued on the front.

Could you speak to any of his friends' mums so that perhaps a couple of them (or even a whole group) could go dressed the same? Maybe even meet up on the way in so they can see they are the same before they get there?

I am so glad my youngest is now 15.

My kids never particularly enjoyed it either., and I hated the short notice, the hard to find items, charging around town just as the shops are closing to find an overpriced Einstein wig/ stripey top/ something red.

It's a huge relief to have that behind me.

Maybe the Cook? Normal clothes with an apron and a big pepperpot? A hat only if he feels able

What about face paint?

I'd just print out an A4 playing card and safety pin it to his tshirt. Normal tshirt and joggers/jeans, will look more effective if top and bottom are same colour to provide a "base" for the costume.

Could he take in something like this
www.amazon.co.uk/Fiesta-Crafts-Wonderland-Finger-Puppet/dp/B00IPGWOLO

So he has a topical item he can join in with and play with but can take of when feels uncomfortable.

...am outfit for your hand if you will....apologies if my suggestion is bonkers but it came to me and I thought it might be helpful.