Tell me it will be ok

[inmyshoos]

We are putting our house on the market and moving from a very remote area to an area closer to bigger city/more jobs/more universities. My dc all go to a tiny primary school which they love (35 pupils)

Dd1 in particular is distraught at the idea of leaving her beloved little school. This is making a hard hard decision so much harder.

Tell me it will be ok. That there are other lovely schools in which she will settle and be happy.

It will be OK. There are other lovely schools in which she will settle and be happy.

A larger school will have more activities, bigger variety of clubs. Lots of things to try out and to enjoy.

I think very small schools do promote this type of attachment from pupils and parents which always made me wary of them. Very difficult to deal with this problem because it will almost feel like a bereavement. However, there are lots of other opportunities waiting to be discovered so try and sell this. Also, she can keep in touch with friends via skype etc.

My DD (Y2) was in a class of 14. DS (YR) was in a class of 10.

Moved to classes of 30.

DD found it tougher (been there longer). But the bigger school/class/social circle was a godsend for her - she thrived. 2 Years on she occasionally mentions it.

DS was "meh". They have lego and paint. Fantastic.

I moved school in Y2. I remember my first day of nerves - they rest - fine I adapted very, very quickly.

They will be fine. They will thrive.

Thank you guys. Such a hard decision. Dd1 is the only one making a big fuss about it. She won't hear of any chat about moving, bursts into tears or tantrum about how she will not move and will live with our neighbour!! She is genuinely distraught about it. Think I might need a whole load of gin to see this through

We actually have friends who wanted to move but never did because their children refused. However, children now grown up and our friends have been away for years sailing around the world. When they eventually "moved" it was literally to the other side of the world.

Wow millymolly that is quite something!! It is very hard to ignore dd1 and her tears but ultimately this move will provide more opportunities for them all. Ds and dd2 are quite matter of fact about it.

We will be closer to all our family and will save us the monthly 8 hr round trip to visit them. Fwiw dd1 hates this trip and cries when we leave because she wants to stay with her grandparents but misses her pal at home, so she does have a history of dramatics!!

We moved half mile away last year, children stayed at the same school.

DD was distraught, angry, very unsettled, refusing to move etc. It was like a bereavement to her.

The first weekend was hellish, then she settled down once she was back at school.

Good luck. It will be okay, but it sounds like your DD will need some extra support along the way.

Thanks Christina How old is your Dd?
I think my dd would be fine if she could go to same school. I think she is afraid actually. Her school is like a family unit. She has had the same teachers since p1 who know her extremely well and who like her. She isn't overly academic but her 2 teachers see that she is very organised and keen to please. She is like their little class helper and know she thrives on this. The idea of a big school with hundreds of pupils is her idea of hell!!

Can I just reassure you that, although my children went to schools with 45 and 60 in a year group, they also had friendly teachers, were allocated jobs to be the teacher's helper and felt that they were part of the school as much as children do in a smaller school. It is all down to the quality of the teacher and how the classroom is organised. I am sure if the staff know your DD has come from a very small school and has concerns, they will bend over backwards to find her a friend/buddy and make her feel welcome.

Thank you millymolly

She was 7 and isn't very adaptable or flexible.

I agree with milly that children can still very much have a small network and be known as individuals in a big school, and schools are generally very geared up to welcoming new children.

Change is more difficult for some children than others though, definitely, although the solution isn't to keep everything the same (even if that were possible!)