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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Feeling sad about DD starting reception :(

19 replies

summeriscoming · 30/08/2015 18:50

That really. I feel she's too young and worry about how she will manage everything (of course it's more about me managing this change). She's looking forward to it and everyone I know is excited about their DCs starting school and I'm the only one who's not looking forward to it at all.
I don't know how I will get through the first few days/weeks.
I'm pathetic aren't I?
Maybe some teachers around to put my mind at ease??

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ConfusedInBath · 30/08/2015 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarrieLouise25 · 30/08/2015 19:07

I'm not excited either, so I'm with you on this one.

However, you do say that your DD is looking forward to it, so that's really important. Imagine if you were worried, and she was dreading it! That would definitely be worse.

You're not pathetic at all. I'm sure everything will be ok, and she'll be fine.

Good luck, here's some

turdfairynomore · 30/08/2015 19:11

I'm a P1 teacher & have been for about 30 years. I totally "get" what you are saying! It's a huge privilege to be entrusted with your most precious "possession" & I never underestimate that. P1/reception teaching isn't for everyone- it strikes cold hard fear into most hearts so hopefully your dd is in a class with someone who is there because they love what they do! I adore my job. Getting to know these new little people and their families is amazing. I think that the bond that is built is often never replicated until 6th form-going by my own kids experiences. Follow your DDs lead. Be positive-but don't built it up too much. If either if you become teary at drop off-hand her to the teacher or assistant and leave quickly, it's the kindest thing to do. (I'd try to get as message to the office to get someone to reassure you that she'd settled). I'd also advise that you are early for pick up, and that you wait in the exact same place for a week or so (wearing the same coat if necessary!) so that you are easy for her to spot in a sea of faces! Most of all-enjoy it! Before you know it you'll be in my position...my "baby" starts upper 6th this week!

Twolefttoes · 30/08/2015 19:12

It's not pathetic, I keep welling up about it full on crying. Its a big step and change for everyone.

I'm not worried about him being too young etc. Just really going to miss him and our adventure days out.

LoveChickens · 30/08/2015 19:14

It's really not that much of a big deal. It will be fine I promise.

Ferguson · 30/08/2015 19:16

Has she been to nursery/pre-school? If she has, that helps a lot.

She will be tired, and may be grumpy from time to time, but I'm sure she will be fine, and in a few weeks you will wonder why you ever worried!

Don't expect much 'formal learning' at first, but just support reading, or read to her, and don't 'push' her too hard if she is reluctant to do certain activities.

Make sure she can cope with toilet, PE, and lunch times. Give praise and TLC.

pumpkinbutter · 30/08/2015 19:20

My Dd's birthday is tomorrow with school on Tuesday. She is now going into year 2, the first few weeks were tough but I worked with the teachers to make sure she coped and we did 4 half days until Christmas with Wednesday's off then in January she did 4 full days with Monday's off And went full time after easter. It was best for her as she was tiny - in 18 to 24 month clothing. She did struggle last year but has really flourished over this summer and will go back without any issues. It is a very noticable gap in the first few years of school but school reckon by the end of year 2 they all even out.

NullaBore · 30/08/2015 19:24

My dd has done 18 months at the nursery and hated it . She has said she's not looking forward to school but we have no choice.

Her bf from nursery is going to another school but l hope she finds some new friends soon.

I'm also 36 weeks pregnant so a little bit hormonal!

Hypotenuse · 30/08/2015 19:26

My DD1 is starting reception too and I feel such an ache in my heart thinking about being without her. I'm on maternity leave with DD2 and the three of us have been having so much fun this past 10 months. Now my eldest is off to school and 2 months later I am back to work. It's too much, and I don't like it at all.

Smartiepants79 · 30/08/2015 19:28

My DD was only just 4 when she went last year. I was sad, it was too soon!
She wasn't! She has had a lovely year and is looking forward to next year.
It's ok for you to be sad just try not to let her know. Be excited for her and be positive, positive, positive.
It's a new challenge but try and focus on all the wonderful new things she will be learning.
I'm a primary teacher. Most of the little ones cope fine and have a good time.

catkind · 30/08/2015 19:28

Nulla, my DS never liked nursery - he loved school right from the beginning tho. Hope it works the same for your DD!

LostInMess · 30/08/2015 19:35

It is a bit sad initially, but it's not that different to preschool and they do look after them well - does feel a bit beginning of end though and am similarly sad about DD2 taking the big step from reception to Y1, although she is very ready for it.

Can you go in and help at all? I've never been able to go regularly due to younger DC (with another due next month) but go in as and where I can and it's a great chance to see them there and what they're up to. And the schools are generally pretty good at letting you know what they're up to, so hopefully that will help too.

Definitely find someone to join you for a coffee on day 1, though - there'll be plenty in the same boat!

Original poster

summeriscoming · 30/08/2015 20:10

Thanks everyone for your kind words.
She has been going to nursery since she was 10 months so she's used to being at 'school' but I know that she will be upset when I drop off :(
It's a shame that none of her friends will be at her new school.
My other problem is that I work full time so won't be there everyday to pick her up.
I think I just need to get through the first couple of weeks...

OP posts:

satinpillowcase · 02/09/2015 13:39

Mine are going back into juniors and I am miserable about it.
They are fine.

satinpillowcase · 02/09/2015 13:40

More than fine... Happy
And it's the way of the world
The heart wrenching pain of letting go
But as it should be

NullaBore · 02/09/2015 15:11

catkind you were right! Dd had a fab day today, and dare l say it [whispers] really enjoyed it

Millymollymama · 02/09/2015 22:53

I honestly never felt like this. What on earth will you be like when they go to university??!! It is exciting for the children. You get to hear about what they are doing but not living every moment with them. Their growing independence is fantastic to see. It is the start of their journey into being the person they will eventually become. Be happy for them and support them. Look forward to the reading books, Christmas at school, sport, music and the new friends they will make. It is truly not gut wrenching!

NullaBore · 03/09/2015 07:45

A 4 year old going to school is a bit different to an 18 year old going to University

You can be happy and a little sad, it doesn't have to be one or the other only on mn

jamdonut · 03/09/2015 19:12

No it's not different....its worse! I was excited for mine going to school, but Uni is a proper " letting go" , they are not there to tell you about their day, every day!!! I missed my eldest son going to Uni last year, but Im going to really miss my daughter when she goes in a couple of weeks...who will I have my daily gossip with then?! My youngest isn't into chats, but at least I have him for another 3 years.

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