Did I do the right thing?

[Blossomhill]

Ds, 9 in January and in year 4 has forgotten to bring his homework home for the 3 rd time. He also forgets to change his reading book.
I punished him by banning him from the computer and spoke to his very laid back teacher and said I think he should be punished at school too.
Teacher said shall I make him miss him playtime to do homework? I said yes as I think will teach him not to do it again.
If I hadn't said anything he wouldn't of been punished.
I did feel a bit mean though I have to say!

I guess I would be more concerned that your ds would feel that the teacher is picking on him if he is the only child at school being punished for forgetting his homework. He has to accept that you may punish him and that parents have different rules, but I do think that the same rules should apply to all children at school. I would also feel worried that the teacher is happy to have a different set of consequences for your ds than the other children.

Thing is the teacher is new and in every other year if homework wasn't done they had to stay in at playtime.
I do feel bad but ds's attitude of late is worrying me.
He is doing so well at school and I am worried that he may fall back.
I do agree that punishing twice was a bit mean but am hoping he will think twice before forgetting it again!

themulledSNOWMANneredjanitor on Monday, 27 November, 2006 12:44:27 PMhe's 9. he's not doing gcse's is he?

No he isn't but he has forgotten 3 weeks in a row. Isn't changing reading books and I want him to realise how important his education is!

Batters ~ yeah ikwym but he loves Club Penguin so am hoping it may be enough to remind him.
Otherwise if he doesn't do his numeracy over the weekend (gets it Friday) we then have Literacy tonight and it all becomes too much.

a friend of mines daughter is very forgetful so they have a chart next to the door saying what she needs for every day of the week at school and she has to check it each morning to make sure she hasnt forgotten anything ,perhaps if you do something like this it will help your son remember the essentials !

I dont think it was harsh at all they have to take some responsibilty (sp) if they dont learn now when will they ?

You are not going to believe this. The teacher "forgot" to keep him in so handed me the homework to do at home tonight!

That doesn't surprise me. At least the teacher admitted their mistake. I would have said that I was on duty so wasn't able to leave your DS in by himself!
I do think your DS should be made to complete the homework, it will (hopefully) teach him to complete it on time when he gets it.

Whats she like Sorry but it seems to me you dont stand a chance with her .You have to laugh . At least she was honest .

She was a man wakeupandsmellthecoffee

Bloody typical eh ?

that says it all LOL

I think you are doing the right thing Blossomhill. So many people do all the remembering/organising for their children in primary school, rather than teaching them to get their act together themselves, and suffer the consequences if they don't.

Children need to be able to be very organised when they get to secondary, and it won't happen overnight. They need a couple of years' practice.

My ds2 (yr3) always forgets to hand his homework in! He remembers to bring it home, remembers to do it; but then forgets to hand it in!

God, it's a tricky one, isn't it? We went from teacher right on the ball in yr 2 Infants to 'a child has to learn to take responsibility' in yr 3 Juniors- just like that! DS immediately cottoned on to the fact that if he didn't change his library book from one week's end to the next, there were no consequences- and no additional reading at home! I felt I had to have diplomatic 'words' at the school and, whilst I was greeted with the 'Oh, this is how we teach them personal responsibility' sound byte at the time, I note the book is always changed now! But note, the "THIS is how we do it!" letter at the beginning of juniors ("HW out on Mon and Thurs, in on Weds and Mon" has been rather loosely interpreted by the school as the "Monday in" HW is often still sitting in his bookbag on Weds...). But to your problem, sadly, I've been forced to come around to the idea that the squeaky wheel gets the oil when it comes to flagging potential problems with the teacher. I value and respect my kids' teachers but I don't think it hurts, now and then, to raise the odd, carefully chosen 'issue' with them if it really IS a problem to you. As an aside- and I'm rambling here, we've just had parents' eve, yr 1. In the playground post-mortem, one thing SO struck me. The 'concerned middle class' parents had all been told fairly similar things about 'needing to work on the self confidence' 'working on number bonds', 'nailing reception graded key words' etc whereas the -um- 'rougher' mums, the ones who rap sharply on the window if the kids are 5 mins late in coming out at 3.20, who march straight up to the teacher if little Dwayne was made to zip up his anorak at yesterday's playtime etc etc were all told there were 'NO problems whatsoever ! All going swimmingly!' and these kids are no better than the others, mind! Guess the teacher knows where to put her energy!

FWIW I think you did the right thing. At 9 they should be able to organise changing books and bringing homework home.

OH I am so glad some of you agreed with her as I felt I was being mean telling mine he would stay in on Fridays if he got too many spellings wrong . LOL