dd is being bullied (again) by the same girl (again) )-:

[mosschops30]

Poor dd was crying on the way home from school today. Some girl has been pushing her about and holding onto her feet so she falls over.

This girl has been constant problems for the last 2 years. Have been to school several times who claim they are dealing with it in the proper manner. It has been violent in the past, when she had her hands round dd's throat (the school told me it 'was good that the child showed some restraint because she did let go' WTF!!).

I am now planning to speak with the Head tomorrow who is a patronising cow at the best of times but I know I will lose my temper because they never deal with it sufficiently. Feel like telling her that if its not sorted I will involve the police and involve the LEA

Any advice on what I can do or how to keep my cool will be really apprecaiated

Absolutely no idea how you can keep your cool, I would be furious too. Just express very clearly that you are not satisfied with the way the school is dealing with it ask them what they intend to do now in line with their anti bullying policy (and possibly ask them what is the next step you could take...) see how they react to that! The girl sounds like a bl**dy menace.

Perhaps only deal with it in writing so you can keep your cool and you have a record of everything that is said? Ask them to detail to you exactly what is going to be done etc???? Perhaps send it recorded too and ask them to do the same? Perhaps you should copy in the LEA anyway.

I agree with writing a letter to the Headteacher, detailing exactly how you feel about this situation, and how the school have not yet dealt with it effectively.
Copy it in to the Head of Governers too.
Ask to see a copy of their anti-bullying policy, and go through it with the Headteacher, asking how they can be following it when this has been a constant problem for your daughter for over two years.
Be calm, but be extremely firm.
Make another appointment for 7 days after the first meeting, and tell the Head that in the second meeting you will want written details of what has been done to deal with the problem, and what will happen if it reoccurs.

Our DS2 was badly bullied at school, and we found that the Headteacher said all the right things in the meetings, but swept things under the carpet whenever possible.

Have you contacted kidscape ? I'm sure they'd be able to give lots of great advice.

You could always take somebody with you to the meeting to a ) try to help you stay calm and b) take notes of what is said so you can read over it again later. Booking another meeting a week later is a great idea and you can use your 'notes' to check everything promised has been done.
Good luck

agree with humprhey and good idea of ptmum to take a third party for note taking and a second set of ears incase the head says "i didnt say that....blah deblah de blah"

make sure you drop in thats its anti bullying week this week and what are they doing to re-inforce that. in ds school they are having talks, assembleys and special topic lessons. ds in reception has paired up with nursery - did book sharing today and made friendship bracelets. ds had a real tiger as a partner and got ds round the neck - teacher said he was being over friendly - i say something else!!

poor dd, Mosschops, I hope your meeting with the head was constructive.

my dd mentioning one girl more frequently (she is always being made to sit out etc) but she pushed dd to the ground on Friday, then some older boy came and hit her in the head. Am so angry (it was at lunchtime) - don't know what stance to take when I see dd's teacher on Monday. is this gil bullying her? what do I ask dd's teacher to 'do' about it?

sorry for hijack - such uncharted territory!

well i spoke to the headteacher on the phone, she said 'thank you for bringing it to my attention i will speak to xxx (my dd)'.

So when dd gets home I asked her what happened and she said the head called her in, asked her what happened, then got the other girl in and said her behaviour was unacceptable, not to happen again and they should be friends

what should I do now, would you write to the head asking what action she took, and what she will do if this happens in the future. As far as I am aware thoughout the years this has been the solution, they are told to be friends, and it never works. I dont know what has been done to deter this girls behaviour or if her parents are aware. They are year 6 now and I would like it sorted before it gets worse in high school

Yes, I would follow it up in writing.

I don't think 'be friends' is an acceptable solution, either.

I'd write to say so.

And keep a copy.

In the letter, I'd write that I expect a reply, too. In writing. For my records, of course.

I'd also write to your city councilor. Schools are council property, and they are willingly allowing physical assault to occur on their property. So I'd express my concern about this to the councilor.

expat, its a catholic school so does it make a difference with the councillor thing?
Shall I copy in the head of governors and the LEA as others have suggested?

Yes, faith schools are still run by the council.

can anyone give me some help in the letter writing. I dont want to come over too bolshy. Would just like here to tell me what she's done about the problem over the years ans what her plans are if they dont 'make friends'

Hiya, Moss.

Can you make a bulletted list of all the things that have happened?

If you have dates or approximate dates, that will help.

Also, if you have them, dates you have consulted other teachers or the head. And any action taken.

Put this together in a list first.

Are you CAT'able? I'd be happy to help you write a letter or a draft you can use as a template.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience writing effective letters of this sort - well, b/c of a Tax Credit fracas, a fracas in which I was ripped off by a rogue Ebay buyer through PayPal, another time when housing benefit got cocked up and a dispute w/Scottish Power.

I'm happy to say all of these were resolved in our favour.

I'd be happy to help you help your daughter.

thanks expat for your help and advice. I dont have any dates, I can remember vague things that have happened (in particular the hands round throat episode) and a few other times when I have been to the school regarding the same matter.

I'm not cat'able so dont know how I could do this but would really value your input, I am crap at doing things like this, and even though I'm reasonably intelligent (currently doing a nusring degree) this teacher always makes me feel like a complete idiot

ha ha i'm so intelligent I cant even spell nursing

try:

kaperkaillieATgmailDOTcom.

That's my email addy.

thanks expat you can get your msg deleted now if you like i will email you