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Primary education

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Original poster

do you always do teachers presents?

83 replies

Laura0806 · 17/07/2015 18:18

I always give both my childrens teachers presents at the end of every year and at christmas as I appreciate what a tough job teaching is and want to say thank you. I do this whether the teacher has been good or ok. However, this year for both of my children the teacher they have had has been awful. One was an NQT but has taught quite a lot of things incorrectly and taught to the lowest ability level in the class leaving my daughter bored and demotivated. The other refused to believe my other child had SEN but said that they thought it was just a personality issue resulting in my child feeling a lot less confident than at the start of the year. I don't feel inclined to buy a present but feel guilty for not doing....

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BlueBrightFuture · 18/07/2015 08:26

We used to do a group gift where one parent collected all the money and bought a voucher. Normally £10 each, however one year me and some of my DD's friends all gave £10 each but it turned out that in the end the total collected was £70. Which was odd for 30 DC. From then on we have done a voucher with a group of parents and opted out of the class whole class gift. I normally get a nice hand cream so my DD have something to give to the teacher direct. For some children there is the element of enjoying the fact that they can give something to the teacher, especially if it is a teacher they are fond of. think this often gets overlooked.
Also I would normally not get flowers as you never know if the teacher is going on holiday the very next day..

pinkplasticsandals · 18/07/2015 11:47

"when you start talking about buying your lecturer a coffee could be construed as a bribe then it becomes ridiculous hence my tongue in cheek reply!"

I beg your pardon, why is this ridiculous, can you explain? These were the rules, at least in my department at UCL. Granted I was taken aback when I unwittingly bought my seminar leader a coffee and brought it to a one-to-one meeting and was told that he had to pay me back, which he did.

Wrt school, I have heard parents say that they are buying gifts for teachers present younger siblings will eventually be taught be the same teacher and they want to be 'in their good books'. This was chatter at the school gates.

I am saying that the buying loads of stuff is bothering me, a home made present, ideally made by the child is a very nice idea and has educational value imo. Buying loads of crap of fancy stuff is consumerist and doesn't teach the dc anything.

pinkplasticsandals · 18/07/2015 11:51

oh, hell, apologies about the typos, does it still make sense?

poppy70 · 18/07/2015 12:08

I have no doubt that parents do do that. More fool them. The only parents that irritate me are the ones who push their children too hard and the ones who conversely don't support them at all. Both I consider unfair to the children. I couldn't read u til late and my mother has never forgiven herself... always saying I just didn't know how to read with you right. I provide reading workshops for all parents and support them as much as I can. I don't like every personality in thr class but it is my job to the best for them for the 11 months I have them. I am glad for those children when they move on because I feel it will be good to find a teacher who clicks with them. A present isn't going to change anything.

SignoraStronza · 18/07/2015 12:12

Little bottle of Fentimans gin and tonic this year (£3) and a card.

mrz · 18/07/2015 13:14

Do you seriously believe that the UCL policy is sensible?

ProggyMat · 18/07/2015 13:54

...sticks tongue firmly in cheek, a la Mrz, and wonders about second markers finding the need to 'scratch n sniff' to detect the aroma of coffee.

clam · 18/07/2015 14:13

< idly wonders what pinkplastic has against mrz >

clam · 18/07/2015 14:15

"Wrt school, I have heard parents say that they are buying gifts for teachers present younger siblings will eventually be taught be the same teacher and they want to be 'in their good books'. This was chatter at the school gates."

Seriously??? More fool them.

Notso · 18/07/2015 14:26

The only year I didn't was with one particular teacher who constantly compared DS to DD and who just appeared to have no time for him. DS came home in tears because she got each child to come up with their gift and opened it in front of all the others. He was the only one with nothing to give.

blink1552 · 18/07/2015 14:27

I find it all very uncomfortable, but now that teachers are giving the children a little gift (party bag type toy and some sweets usually) I feel we ought to get something in return.

We have given DC's favourite book for the classroom, or a charity gift of books for african schoolchildren before, along with a nice letter, but now I wonder if that was a faux pas because it wasn't directly for the teacher. But £10 in the pot just feels wrong and who really needs 30 lots of chocolate or mugs twice a year?

Kikimoon · 18/07/2015 14:36

I always give teachers presents at Christmas and the end of the year. This Christmas I decided not to as I had had a clash with the teacher and was annoyed about so much that had been going on. But then someone did a collection and I felt so tight not contributing... And then dd was upset that she didn't anything to give so I got an extra gift as well... Have to say the teacher took it as an olive branch and has been incredibly nice ever since. We've ended up getting on really well!

In your situation I wouldn't unless it upset my dc.

adrianna22 · 18/07/2015 14:41

I don't give out teacher's presents easily.

However, DS had the most amazing teacher and TA's whilst he was in Reception and yes I brought them a present each...

MrsHathaway · 18/07/2015 16:04

Worth mentioning we also do gifts for the volunteers who help DC at eg football. "They get paid to do a job" doesn't apply there!

mrz · 18/07/2015 16:56

I buy gifts for the caretaker and cleaners who keep the classrooms clean and the lunchtime supervisors just to say thank you

YeOldTrout · 18/07/2015 17:16

I gave up yrs ago. MN ruined it for me with long thread of teachers saying they didn't like wine & others said they didn't like X or Y, I just ended up confused. DS actually had a teacher who didn't like wine, cakes or chocolate, too! Would probably contribute if someone else organised it and made decisions.

MozzchopsThirty · 18/07/2015 19:16

Can I ask 'WHY' we are supposed to give a gift??

Teachers have chosen a career, it's relatively ok pay (not minimum wage), 13 weeks holiday

mrz · 18/07/2015 19:21

You aren't expected to buy a gift ...it's a choice.

Kikimoon · 18/07/2015 20:30

Why should you give something? Because most teachers look after your kids beautifully, and find amazing ways of boosting their confidence. And they put up with us parents asking all sorts of questions. And because it's important that our kids learn to show appreciation, and a gift or a card is a great way of doing that.

MozzchopsThirty · 18/07/2015 20:41

Kiki - I look after people beautifully too, every day, I get paid for it, it's a job I chose. I do not get gifts, and on the rare occasion i have it maybe a card or chocolates.
I'm not actually allowed to accept gifts

Are teachers that rare and amazing that they deserve 30 gifts twice a year on top of their salary??

mrz · 18/07/2015 20:42

Not even a home made card?

MozzchopsThirty · 18/07/2015 20:44

Absolutely a homemade card. My ds made one this year.
I don't like the expectation that all parents have to give £10 that's all or buy a gift at all

morethanpotatoprints · 18/07/2015 20:47

My older dc used to make cards and get teachers a small token gift, we had to stop with dd as she had so many teachers we really couldn't afford to do it.
Then, who do you choose if you only do a couple.

The teachers she will have from now until september will have presents though.

mrz · 18/07/2015 20:50

I was asking if you could accept a homemade card

mrz · 18/07/2015 20:51

I'm a teacher and I don't like the £10 collection (or indeed the 10p collection)

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