Looking for Non-Selective London Prep for "not 7+ material" DC, need 5* SEN.

[Cantfindaprepschool]

Please help! I'm looking for a London Prep school starting in 2016 in Year 3 (ideally north or central London but will consider elsewhere, prefer one which goes up to age 13) BUT my DC has been described as being bright (currently in Y1 at pre prep and in top sets) but cannot perform well in exam conditions due to moderate Autism, moderate to severe ADD and moderate Dyspraxia..... Current school have said that although very bright DC is "not 7+ material" due to recent poor performance in end of year tests where performance was at the national average for age. I'm hoping that in the future exam performance will reflect true ability. Any suggestions for London Preps gratefully recieved!

Many of the pupils at Newton Prep who have needs other than mild dyslexia have transferred from Fairley House. I'm not sure that it's as good as dealing from scratch as it is with supporting those who have been helped by the specialist school.

I would have suggested this, but OP has ruled out Fairley House.

A friend sent her ds to Fairley and was unimpressed. He is now doing much better at the local state primary.

Cantfinda, have you thought about Egerton Rothesay in Berkhamsted? it's in Hertfordshire, not London, so may not be right for your DC - but I noticed that you mentioned Berkhamsted School as one of the indies that you'd like to get DC into in the future if possible. Egerton Rothesay is 100% geared to 'quirky' children, very much including ASD, and I'm pretty sure that children don't need a Statement to go there. They have a really lovely admissions lady, Mrs M, who is very helpful and always enjoys a chinwag!

I'm pretty certain that your DC would need a Statement/EHCP to access the ASD/sensory unit at the state school you mentioned. My experience is that even though my DS does have a Statement for ASD, that wouldn't guarantee him a place in the ASD unit of our nearest state school and it would still have to be argued with our LA.

My experience of prep vs state in general is that it depends very much on the individual school and the needs of the child. We used to live in the next county to Herts, hence considering Egerton Rothesay, and it was an 11+ county. None of the private schools would have remotely considered having DS, and we wouldn't have gone near them either. Very results focussed and not terribly understanding of SEN. The village state school that we were at was good to start with, but DS just couldn't keep up and was badly struggling and extremely unhappy. We moved counties to the most amazing prep, which is enhanced mainstream and has brilliant senco provision. DS is happier than he's ever been, and for the first time he's learning, progressing and has great friends.

@IsItMeOr yes, such a helpful thread! Amazing that you get the full time 1:1 support. Can't bear to think how much that would cost privately, doubt it would be affordable for my DS privately, though the school have told me that he doesn't need it. I hope they are being honest about that! I think they are as there is another DC at the school who does have a private full time shadow. If you don't mind me asking, is yourDC quite severely ASD to need the full time 1:1, or is it just something that is better with than without and you take it as the school offered? Is your borough well known for being very good for funding SEN? How helpful are the EP and autism outreach?

Regarding my preference for public schools, really I just want my DC to be happy right now and I do worry about things like university and employment, so I just want to give him very possible advantage... If I can help him 'buy his way in' by having gone to a school with a national(ish) reputation that may help. Also, DC really loves routine and loves to be busy and does not react well to having unstructured time, so I think a public school where he can have long days packed full of fun clubs and activities would really suit him (that is what he has now and he LOVES school) Also, for socialisation reasons I'd love him to be able to flexi board for a couple of nights a week. I think learning to live in a community will be really important for him... So I think a public school would have a lot to offer for him!

You are so lucky that you are getting such a great service for your DC for free! I really hope everything goes well with getting the EHC for you.

@Sleepwhenidie Yes, just goes to show there is no perfect school! Any idea how DC's at The Academy actually get on when they go to their senior schools? I wondered if they would struggle socially?

@ChocolateChip123 & AnotherNewt: I had sort of ruled out Newton as I (perhaps erroneously?) got the impression they wanted the full on 7+ for entry? DC's country Pre-Prep don't really prep for 7+ much plus I / they are not sure he would be up to scratch :-(

@ EyorePigletAndPoohToo: lovely to hear your current prep is working out so well. Hm, must be very difficult having such an innapropriate range of schools as you did in your previous county. Reminds me a bit of the Tunbridge Wells / Tonbridge situation in NW Kent with the competition for places.

Yes, having to rely on state SEN services does scare me - I trust my ability to pay for a good service more than I trust their ability to give me a good service for free! I just really worry I could be one of the unlucky ones who waits an absolute age on waiting lists and then gets refused everything anyway. Seems that the state services can be amazing, but only if you can get hold of them!

Egerton sounds fantastic! I think Berkhamstead as a location would work perfectly for Senior as it's only 20mins from Euston on the train, but for Prep having to commute like that could be tricky.... But I will certainly look at it as I think the journey would be worth it for the right school and is arguably preferable to having to weekly board for schools such as Bruern Abbey. Also, I'm a big fan of schools that are outside of the crazy competition for places in London (though I've found few feasible transport-wise thus far). Fingers crossed for Egerton!

@EeyorePigletAndPoohToo: just been googling Egerton. News article said 13% get 5 A-C GCSEs. If the academic environment at their prep department is similar then I don't think it will be academic enough for DC unfortunately as I think being in a class of similar achieving pupils would be best for him. Currently his performance in exams is very mediocre, but that doesn't reflect his true ability. It is certainly the kind of school I would consider if his SEN needs began to totally overshadow his academic needs though. Thanks so much for the suggestion, it will go on my list :-)

cantfind I can only share what I know about two individuals and they are doing great, actually seem v mature and well adjusted. I think the Academy demands politeness but also treats the children as adults when it comes to intellectual interactions and because of the higher proportion of, shall we say, unusual characters that end up there, they are used to all sorts of personalities (and how to handle them) whereas I think in most prep schools the children they are with are more probably all of a similar type?

Can entirely see what you mean re ER's results, Cantfinda. I think it's likely that any school specifically for ASD/quirky children will have lower overall exam results than mainstream schools (though apologies if I'm wrong or stating the obvious!).

Just to add that it is possible, though I think very unusual, to get free ASD support in a prep school. My son has very nearly full-time 1:1 support, plus regular SALT and OT provision, all funded by our LA - though it took a fair bit of shouting and hurrumphing to get it. Happy to talk further if you do think the need could be there for your DS.

cantfind I wish we didn't have to engage with the state so intensely, but needs must.

The provision is solely driven by DCs needs, and it is about helping them to meet learning goals. DS is a bit atypical, as he is achieving fine academically, but his unpredictable aggressive outbursts mean that the 1:1 is first and foremost there to help him manage his behaviour to keep him and the other DCs safe. If he withdrew into himself instead, I would not expect that he would get the same level of support.

Have you tried consulting with an educational psychologist, who sees children in both state and private settings, to get an independent perspective on what your DS needs? I think what all parents are looking for is some reassurance that we are doing the best thing for our DCs, and when you find out your DC has ASD, your standard route map just got torn up.

My rule of thumb, fwiw, is that DS is (now) happy and making progress. He seems to be academically bright, however his ASD may mean that he cannot fulfil all of that potential. As long as he is happy and progresses to live independently, I won't lose too much sleep over that personally. I know that wouldn't be the right approach for every parent.

If state school stops working so well for DS, we will not hesitate to look at the private options, hence finding this thread helpful.

IsitMeOr you have expressed things beautifully. This is how I feel about DD1's progress in school. My aim is to get her to her GCSEs with her self esteem and confidence as strong as it can be and for her to have the support she needs to access the curriculum. I think like many dyslexics, once she can specialise in what she really wants to do she will shine. Until then, it's advocacy all the way...

Aw, thanks elltee I feel like I'm on a very steep learning curve. I absolutely agree with you re self-esteem and confidence (and ideally earning enough money to afford a private therapist if they need one!).

my nt DS is going into y6 at a prep and was hopeless at tests until this year, don't think he'd ever got higher than 50%. in y5 he had a real maturity leap and i spent a lot of time showing him exam and revision technique. He was up in the 70/80%s for English and maths at the end of y5 which I never thought I'd see. 61/2 is very young still to be saying he can't do well in exams isnt it? even with his additional needs could it just be maturity thing? he's at the national average after all even at the moment. we are in an 11+ area so it didn't really matter to us what he was like in y3 and having seen the transformation I no longer worry about his younger siblings so much (one of whom also has an additional need)

@ Sleepwhenidie: very nice to hear they are treated as individuals, I think that will suit DC. Thanks for the info.

@ EeyorePigletAndPoohToo yes, I'm going to keep fingers crossed that Bruern Abbey will take DC as I think the support there will be brilliant, especially as his main special need is small classes. Thanks!

@ IsItMeOr gosh, that must be very difficult dealing with your DC's violent outbursts :-( but yes, children who have problems quietly are more likely not to get the help.

An Ed Psych is a great idea. I was thinking of using one anyway and hope they can give a good overview.

Yes, your approach seems really sensible and your DC sounds lucky to have a mum who cares so much. With my DC I mostly worry so much that he will not be happy as an adult if he does terribly academically and is forced to do a job he does not enjoy.

It's great that state is working so well for you at the moment. Thanks for the advice!

Eltee / IsItMeOr yes, it's is so hard trying to build up self confidence especially when DC also needs to be told that certain behaviours are not appropriate.

Forago
Yes, I totally agree that 6 1/2 is too young to say that he will never be good at exams and I do feel as though the school has written him off on the basis of one performance, however it's probably most sensible to assume that he may continue on the current trajectory rather than will change radically unless some big changes are made.... But you're right, it is hard to tell at his age.