Year 5 in sept and can hardly read or write,how would he manage?

[stripeycat13]

I have a boy age 8,9 in August.He has had a tough time since starting school as no one helped him in his first years at school and I had no idea what I was dealing with.All I knew is he was a happy nature loving boy one minuit and an angry unhappy child the next.I took him out after 18months as no one was doing anything,he was 2 yrs behind and getting bullied.When I say unhappy he was saying I want to go back up to the stars mummy.So I tried an alternative school as I knew he was in a bad way emotionally,this helped but still no support academically.So after a year we home educated for the last 2 year but after a year he refued again to read or write, I now have him a tutor but he is desperate to go to school and be part of it all again. His anxiety has reduced and he just needs learning support.I worry he wont cope in year 5 as it gets high pressured I hear so I am full of anxiety myself now as to what to do.Any suggestions.He has siblings starting school soon so he is reallhy feeling alone.How do I make it right for my boy?

The private schoos that have these specialist teachers are very, very expensive and the OP would need a pretty good job to fund this. This is why these school places are usually funded by LA's for very needy pupils. If you don't get on the assessment route, this type of school is closed to most normal working parents. You could be looking at fees equivalent to Eton.

mrz what a way to put it, he is not 'failing',he just hasn't had enough help and as a family we have been left to flounder and try to help him as best we can. There are very many aspergers type traits and he is dyslexic but the system due to very limited training did nothing to pick that up or help in anyway.As home ed you are left to get on with it and assessments aren't funded so its difficult.It is the system that has failed and many other children with special needs.Unfotunately it seems to be pot luck if you get a good inclusive school or one that just cares about what they look like on paper and prefers to judge heartbroken parents for the childs difficulties. Bitter? just a little.The important thing to me is that he is emotionally/academically supported because everything comes from that.

Do you think your actions have been successful?

How do you mean Mrs Z is that some kind of dig?, because it sounds it. Do you have experience of special needs because its quite distressing and isolating to deal with and then to have blame and judgement on top is deeply cutting and unhelpful. My actions have been as successful as they could be within my means and my childs abilities and special needs.Thankyou for questioning me. I genuinely do thank everyone though for the helpful and frank advice. Atleast I know that whatever I have done to try to repair the emotional damage done by school and help my sons special need I will be blamed either way for having home educated even though school was quite clearly not helping him, and causing prolonged and damaging stress. Or not making the right choices(whatever they would be?),changing tack(like you do when something doesn't work to that extent), and most probabaly be excluded by many a school. So I seem damned either way. I have found some helpful schools thankfully who are prepared to take dual responsibility for helping us. Thank goodness not everyone is so harshly judgemental that we end up struggling alone like so many do because of a system that is quite clearly failing so many children.

Stripey, for what it's worth I think you did exactly the right thing in removing him from an environment that was detrimental to his wellbeing. Academic skills are far easier to catch up on then emotional and psychological health. It is difficult to get away from the fact that most people have been conditioned to believe that children need to go to school or that children are generally better off in school. That's why when you ask for advice here, you are going to get advice that is biased towards the school system and comes from a school mentality, with a school-type model of education and learning. Are you a member of any HE groups? Perhaps posting on the HE topic would help?

If returning to school is what you think is best for your ds then it's great that you have found schools willing to help him integrate.