A primary school teachers opinion please!?

[EmmaMY]

Hi, my eldest son is starting school in September! (Very exited and proud mummy)! He is a gorgeous little boy but I would describe him as spirited (if you've come across that term) and introvert. In other words he has high energy, high intensity and finds it difficult to changing from one thing to the next. He needs his space to recharge his batteries or he become disruptive and doesn't listen very well.

So finally to my question to the primary school teachers here: Would you appreciate being told about things like this as he starts or would you prefer to make your own judgement and start with "a clean slate" if you see what I'm saying? He might be very different at school compared to home anyway. But I don't want him to be labeled naughty unnecessarily...
Any advise from current or former teachers is appreciated!
Kind regards Emma

For these kinds of SEN, a lot of store is placed on the quality of parenting in coming to a diagnosis, yes Ragged.

I don't understand this, sorry. What 'kinds' of SEN?

I think the view of 'spoilt' or SEN is that it is a very absolute way of looking at a situation - surely the way that a parent has to deal with situations if a child has additional needs might be seen as 'spoiling', when in fact it has been trying to manage a difficult situation.

Op - your ds sounds like a lot of children who are heading towards school in September. At our preschool we are doing transition to reception now, and there are a lot of girls and boys who struggle with change, become disruptive when tired or bored etc. We pass this sort of information on to the reception teachers, as part of the transition to school.

Behaviour related hazey and it's not about Dc being spoilt, but about lack of boundaries, which benefit all children, especially the ones who struggle with them.

Schools often give you a form to just say whether the child has any specific likes, dislikes, tendencies that the school should know about. That would be a good place to mention anything like this.

I have a vested interest because one member of staff did tell me (more or less) that DS was simply an ill-disciplined brat.

I'm still curious to hear about very specific things that tell a teacher that they are dealing with ill-disciplined brat rather than a child who would have problems behaving well no matter how marvellous the parents were.

jeee,

I agree it is a rather annoying term 'spirited'. But I don't think the OP is using it as a replacement word for disobedient or naughty. Some children are just 'more' than other kids. Perhaps not for their whole lives but certainly for some of it. My 'spirited' son is just more intense - not necessarily 'naughtier' than my other son. FWIW I now get the 'spirited' thing when applied by sometimes slightly flummoxed parents is a word to describe kids who might have what is known as 'Sensory Processing Disorder'. This might not be strong enough to warrant any therapy but its definitely a 'thing' not something that resides in a parent's head. There has been quite a lot of research done about it. My 'spirited' son is more intense, finds loud noise challenging, gets physically overwhelmed when tired, notices itchy labels and wrongly put on socks. He also clung to me for longer and was inconsolable unless it was me for much longer than I saw other young children behaving. At first I tried to deal with this by brushing it off (after all my other son was completely happy with sticky hands and didn't care about scratchy fabric) but I soon learned it was a genuine discomfort to him and easier to deal with by acknowledging and where possible trying to help him. As soon as I did the complaints stopped and he was back to being a belly laughing, intensely emotional kid. IE normal for him.
X

I would let them know informally. As a previous poster said, the perfect time would be the home visit, or when you go into visit. You don't need to make a big thing of it and of course, they will make their own minds up. Passing on strategies that work would be useful.
I also have a spirited child (and one very normal easy child) who copes well at school. They like structure so she's fine at school. Her behaviour only really slides when we are out of routine (Xmas holiday, Summer holiday etc)

Spirited is only ever used by parents to describe their own children and is generally viewed as a euphemism, it is not a term that would be used in school.
OP I would tell the teacher about behaviour that may be a concern but don't tell the teacher he is spirited.

By referring to children as sprited parents don't see their behaviour as a problem so don't address it. I suggest you work with the school to address your child's inability to behave appropriately. You don't need to inform the teacher. They will figure it out soon enough.

As a Foundation stage teacher, any information prior to the child's introduction to Primary School is valuable. Of course it depends on the cohort. There may be a dozen 'spirited' children which will be dealt with in a totally different manner to a class with just 1 'spirited' child. They just tend to stick out more if singular. Doesn't mean that they are a cause for concern though.

I'd wonder about discipline at home though and how it's enforced if I didn't see improvements over time?