Outstanding primary or private pre-prep?

[reallyconfusedmostofthetime]

We send our twins to a nursery attached to a private school. Never thinking we could afford to stay on at the school another mum suggested we asked about bursaries. We did and were offered one to cover three years. Then the primary school places were allocated and we got our first choice in an outstanding school with exam results that have been in the top primary school lists. We'll be living quite restrictedly to pay fees and won't be able to afford secondary private. It's just feels impossibly to decide. Me and DH feel we were held back by our comp schools where being quiet seemed the most important thing and feel the private school will support our dcs to feel more confident to speak up and give them a good chance to be in a strong position for a grammar later on. Has anyone else been in this position?

Although if you are terrified by class sizes of 30 then state probably isn't for you!! I think bigger classes give children more option to diversify, make friends and shine at what they do best... But if they lack a lot of confidence they may just get lost....

When we saw a class of 30 in operation with all the noise compared to the prep it felt a huge difference. I think the schools thinking on the bursary is they run the classes with 10 in each but can go up to 14 on each class so they would rather have the places filled. Also they said that ours are the sort of kids they would like. I think its for only 3 yrs so they can assess if your income has changed or your kids have turned nuts or if they get all the places filled for the prep then they won't look so favourably at filling up any spaces. I dont think people feel spending the money at pre prep is as important.

Our state school has 24 kids in a class with two full time staff, the prep we went to had 22 with one teacher - every school is different and only you can compare the choices and how they fit your children.

We do pay for a fair bit of extra curricula - music x 5 sessions, swimming, gymnastics and hockey then the usual cubs etc, have done other things at various times.

Hi - I had to make this decision, though it was between outstanding prep and satisfactory primary. We are going to keep DS private for first couple of years and then move him year 1/year 2 if it gets too hard to manage financially. We may be moving house which will then give us more options with state schools. Want him to have a good start and he's extremely attached to his teachers there. Its Montessori in approach and they really seem to 'get' him which informed our decision. Good luck with your decision. Go with your gut.

Having thought about it a bit more and read your further responses, if you can afford years 4-6 then I would recommend the prep. It will give your children a flying start at secondary, especially if you don't end up going down the grammar route.

I am not actually concerned about small class sizes at that age- in my primary school I was one of three children in our equivalent to reception and was in a class of eight for years 1 and 2 (which slowly grew to sixteen by year 6) and it wasn't a problem at all. Your milage may vary, of course, but it's not really a big issue in my experience.

The state primary may have good exam results but education is so much more than that.

Having said that, you have two amazing options and a lot of people would kill to be in your position! Neither choice is wrong.

I'd go for the prep if you can afford the fees from yr 4 to 6.

I think you have already made your decision anyway :) They are your children, and you should do what you think is right. There is no right or wrong answer, because each situation is dependent on the children and the schools in question. There is certainly no black and white private/state dichotomy. You want to send your children to the private school, so do.

Bit of gushing now - how great are the people who contribute here? All for free, objective and wise, considered thoughts that you've taken time out of your day to make. Where do you all hide? When you look at the news you'd think Britain has no one like this left and yet here you are :)

We do feel very lucky but then we have made effort to put ourselves in this position too. I think we have decided. Its hard to put down what it is I think the prep will give them over the primary but its something to do with the value the school puts on the individual.

If you are able to get your heads down and save for essentially 6 years of private school fees within three years then I am wondering what sort of bursary you have been awarded that suddenly made something completely out of your reach, affordable.

It sounds like you are maybe better off that you thought you were?

Anyway, I think if you have an outstanding primary, I'd send them there and put the money aside for private secondary or 6th form.

It's a decision only you can make but from a financial perspective ask the prep school how much of the fees you can pay by salary sacrifice childcare vouchers. We couldn't afford the private route without them.

Good luck with your decision!

I suspect you do not really know how the primary school works, OP. You clearly do not understand differentiation and it is easier to get children of similar ability working together in a larger class (in the same table), than it is in a smaller class. Your children might be the only bright ones there! Reception classes have lots of adults in the classroom. They do not learn numbers by rote as you suggest. Plenty of children go into reception being able to read. It is a wonder any child gets to Oxbridge from a state school if being in a class of 30 is so awful! Private school teachers can be crap, by the way. They would never be able to teach a larger group and differentiation can be a foreign language in some schools. My children went to state and private. One private school was way, way, below the quality offered at my local state infants school. Obviously we moved. You have been offered it for free, so you are not really going to turn it down, are you?

I think you should choose the school that feels right for your children at the moment. I don't think it needs to be a philosophical debate of state vs private. The choice is about school A and school B. If both choices are a a available and you think school A is best for them, so it is. Simple.

As you said, many things may change in 3 years.

I would recommend reading the recent threads on small v large schools, local v commute, village v city. Lots of relevant insights on you dilemmas there too as the issues overlap

Just one thing. Remember that it will probably be near impossible to get 2dc into an outstanding state primary further up the school. It is likely to be full so you may not have that option. However if you start them in state you will be pretty much assured you can swap to private.

Just one thing. Remember that it will probably be near impossible to get 2dc into an outstanding state primary further up the school. It is likely to be full so you may not have that option.

Certainly something to consider, but this isn't necessarily true - it depends on the school. My dd's primary has an excellent reputation and it's very difficult to get admission in reception as it is heavily oversubscribed. However, the school population is quite mobile as a lot of the pupils are the children of staff and/or phd students at the local university.

I know quite a few people who went private because they couldn't get in for reception, then went on a waiting list and moved when a place became available. However, in some schools, that might never happen!