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Original poster

Reception DS will not meet EYFS goals. School not helping - what can I do?

52 replies

RaisinsNotGrapes · 30/05/2015 15:49

I would really appreciate some help and advice from anyone who has experience of this, as a teacher or a parent.

DS attends a local primary school. I have just been asked to go into school to meet the Inclusion officer. She stated in no uncertain terms that DS will not meet EYFS goals in handwriting and a couple of behavioural areas (listening). He is in reception.

Has class teacher has had a quick word with me at pick up, perhaps 5 times throughout the year. She has said things like, DS refused to do handwriting today. Or DS did not listen today. I have been talking to DS about this a lot. I did not get the impression from his class teacher it was a severe problem. Nothing has been mentioned at the 2 parents evenings we have attended.

The inclusion officer told me there are incidents of DS not listening every single day. Why have they not made me aware of this before?

The inclusion officer also said DS will definitely not meet EYFS goals/targets. There is no time for him to turn things around because the reports are being written in 3 weeks. The school did not propose anything for helping or supporting him, or addressing the problems. They said if DS was unable to do the things being asked of him they would help, but as he is CHOOSING not to do the things asked of him, they will not help.

They repeatedly asked if he behaves like this at home.

I am completely confused. What should I be doing next in regards to getting the school to support these issues? I am working with DS every day at home and talking, explaining to him what is expected at school. But I am not there throughout the school day and clearly me supporting him at home with this is not enough.

OP posts:
mrz · 30/05/2015 20:16

In your first post you said "a couple of behavioural areas" which may be his refusal to do his handwriting or it may be something else ... You need to be clear what this is.

His failure to listen would come under Listening and Attention his refusal to do his handwriting would come under Managing feelings and behaviour

mrz · 30/05/2015 20:17

If he hasn't listened he won't be able to follow instructions but if he refuses to follow them that's another thing

Original poster
RaisinsNotGrapes · 30/05/2015 20:25

Mrz, they have not given me any clear information. This is what they have said when I asked for examples:

refusing to do handwriting (this is a recent development)

not always following instructions, for example, preferring to listen to one teacher and ignoring another (ignoring the TA who DS tells me he does not like).

Not listening to an unfamiliar stand-in teacher when his usual class teacher is not there.

not listening to his peers when playing a game and wanting to be the one making all the decisions

taking a very long time to change for PE (being the last one)

turning around and facing the other way during assembly or a group activity.

OP posts:
mrz · 30/05/2015 20:43

That's why I suggested you make an appointment so that you do have a clear picture of what they mean. Then and only then can you and the school plan how to support your son.

MM5 · 30/05/2015 20:49

I can't see if anyone asked, when was he born?

The issues could truly just be developmental based on age and being a boy. My own son did not reach ELG, mainly in writing and PSED areas. He is a summer born boy. He is now Year 5 and is at all appropriate levels in the NEW curriculum which is more difficult. He has grown into a caring, listening, well developed child. Some of these things just need time.

mrz · 30/05/2015 20:54

So by not listening they mean he only follows instructions from certain people when it suits him rather than he doesn't actually listen?

MM5 · 30/05/2015 21:01

That was what it was like for my son. A lot of reinforcement at home and school with open communication between helped to move his development along.

Pipbin · 30/05/2015 21:07

I wouldn't worry at all about not reaching some of the ELG. I'd be more worried in a class if every child did as it would make me think that the teacher was making it up.
As others have said reception classes can be very busy. I can imagine that he is called over to either work one to one or in a small group when the rest of the class are having either free choice or another, seemingly more exciting, activity.
It sounds to me like he is strong willed and testing the boundaries. I wonder if he will do better when he is in the more formal environment of year 1.

poppy70 · 30/05/2015 21:51

A social intervention can be any thing and is dependent innhow knowledgeable a teacher is in that area. Some don't mdo it all. Some are very good at it. It sounds like a managing feelings and behaviour issue to me and a lack of readiness to learn. Like Mrz said meet the teacher and see...no one else can tell you.

poppy70 · 30/05/2015 21:56

On another note... I have seen all those problems in my years... And particularly amount boys. Just keep an eye on it.

Original poster
RaisinsNotGrapes · 30/05/2015 22:09

Mrz, this is as much information as I have.

Pipbin, yes he is strong willed and tests boundaries. He may have come to the conclusion himself that there are no real consequences to not listening at school. At home he might lose a privilege but at school he is not really losing out on anything?

OP posts:
Springtimemama · 30/05/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Springtimemama · 30/05/2015 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poppy70 · 30/05/2015 22:53

This has been handled poorly. They should have told you there were problems earlier. He should have been observed Informally by SENCO in case there were later issues. Sounds to me like they have just panicked as they are getting the evidence together ahead of submission date. This should have been picked up the minute they meet him... Unless it has developed throughout the year and he has stayed under the radar.

mrz · 31/05/2015 08:17

It's great that you have an effective strategy to use when he's testing boundaries and it would be a good idea to share that with his teacher so they could adopt a similar approach in school.

Original poster
RaisinsNotGrapes · 31/05/2015 09:41

Mrz, I have shared this with the school. As a teacher what would you do with a child like DS?

OP posts:
mrz · 31/05/2015 10:34

I would do just as you have done at home and have consequences so it might be that if he chooses not to do his handwriting then he won't be able to access his favourite activity that session ... I would always talk to the parent to ensure they are happy about this
I would make sure that he knows it's his choice ... If you choose not to do your handwriting you won't be able to play on the tricycle. are you going to do your handwriting? OK you're choosing not to do your handwriting so you can't play on the tricycles or thank you for doing your handwriting do you want to play on the tricycles now?

Springtimemama · 31/05/2015 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrz · 31/05/2015 14:06

The OP said the issue with handwriting is new but other refusals are longstanding.

Springtimemama · 31/05/2015 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsmortis · 01/06/2015 16:12

And I would still look at getting his eyesight checked (and possibly his hearing too if it was a while since his last test). Just on the off chance. Being good at reading/close work doesn't mean that he doesn't have a problem with distance work. That might explain why he has more problems with one person than another, if one person is relying more on gesture for example, or if one person habitually gives instructions from a different part of the room. My DD was having issues with 'not paying attention' and a hearing test proved that actual issue was that she was having problems distinguishing a single voice from the huge amount of background noise in a busy classroom so she simply stopped trying.

zingally · 03/06/2015 20:10

DON'T start lecturing the SENCO about working memory problems! You'll immediately get a reputation as "that parent who thinks she knows it all".

Go in with a attitude of "what can I do at home to help?" and present as a concerned but keen parent. Rather than the parent who blames everything under the sun before admitting they've actually got a child who isn't always great at doing what he's told. And let's be honest, aren't most 5 year olds like that anyway?

Elisheva · 05/06/2015 10:05

Why is it always assumed that children arrive at school knowing how to sit still and listen? Attention and listening is a skill that needs to be developed like any other and some kids are good at it and some not so. There are lots of Attention and Listening programmes with games and activities to help develop this. I think it's terrible that the school seem to be deferring responsibility for this onto your son. He's only 5.

mrz · 05/06/2015 17:38

They don't ... which is why those are prime areas of development in EYFS

poppy70 · 06/06/2015 10:34

I agree with MRZ. It should be made clear to parents that a large part is developmental... They are being honest... But parents don't understand how it works. If I have a child who doesn't get understanding then they cannot get loads of others. If they can't get speaking... Well then you are looking at very few. If they can't get PSED then they are unlikely to be able to apply themselves enough to work to get any. Yes they are 4/5 but the school tries to work with the parents to ensure they can do all the social! Stuff to ensure that they can develop nice!y.