Holding back your kid one year

[Evaexpat1]

I'm now to the UK and I am curious - is my 2-year old son REALLY expected to start primary school when he's 4? His birthday is May 11th 2012. And according to Dr. Google he'll be starting the school year he turns 5. This seems bizarrely early to me! How rigid is this rule?

• IS there any way you can hold back your kid a year?

In Germany kids in Waldorf and Montessori schools are exempt from the early school start, but unfortunately I think the Montessori option is unaffordable to us - in general I am in denial about the cost of English early child care and just my wits' end.

• Is the first year of Primary school a sort of slow start? Or just full on school?

Any advice on this would be gratefully received. It just breaks my heart that my outdoorsy 2-year old should be in a class room setting already in a year..

Reception year (the first year of school in England, in the year they turn 5, Yr1 is when they are 5/6) is play-based. How schools interpret that varies but it means provision should be similar to play school. Opportunities to mark make, count etc but lots of free flow play provision. Its not sat in rows at desks!

Reception at 4-5 is all play based with a bit of maths and learning to read. Very slow intro to school. what you might think of as schooling starts in yr1

Even if the child miss one year for whatever reason he will start in the year according to his age. Let's say he was not here for reception and comes next year; he will start in year 1. You are not allowed to hold them back

You are not allowed to hold them back

Being pedantic, that isn't quite true but it is as near true as generally makes no difference. If you want to hold your child back a full year the LA and school is required to look at your case individually before deciding. They cannot simply apply a blanket policy. However, in the vast majority of cases they will insist on putting your child in the "correct" year group unless there is strong evidence of delayed development or similar.

As your child was born in May you can delay his start in school until Easter, just before his fifth birthday. If you want to do this you would apply as if he was starting in September then, once you had been allocated a place, tell the school you were deferring entry.

As others have said, Reception should be learning through play and should be very similar to Nursery. It is designed as a gentle entry to school and preparation for the more serious teaching that starts in year 1.

Why don't you go and look around your local primary schools and see. Reception is a lot of free play round here. Some of the private schools are more full on, but state schools generally involve lots of fun and games with some phonics and number work thrown in. I have been very happy with the early experience my DCs gave had.

I agree with your concerns,I have had 2 august babies my 1st started in the April as there were 3 school intakes back then my youngest will start in the September making her just 4, I've thought about this a lot and still undecided, I know of parents that have started their children in the January term also parents that send their children part time but its down to the discretion of the head ,
I myself will send my child in September along with her peers as reception is very play based very much like pre-schools etc, but if I feel she can't cope I will be looking into part days or part week etc,as by law a child technically doesn't have to startuntil 5,
Until rrecently if you didn't send your child until 5 they went unto year 1, but after the case of a mother fighting that law children will now be able to start aged 5 in reception, which is all good but tbh there has to be a cut off somewhere and I just think part time for a while or a Jan intake is probably the better idea

Are you moving to Scotland or England? The admission dates in Scotland are different. You start school the year of your 5th birthday, so your DS would start in 2017.

Welcome to the UK! The system here is a joke. Your ds will start full time school (that's 9 to 3.30) when he's 4 years and three months old. Yes it is supposed to be play based but depends very much on the school with some schools seriously pushing the academic work. It's also a ridiculously long day in a formal setting for a 4 year old. (And yes I am bitter and with hindsight would have sent my dc to school in Germany).

Hi,
I am German and found the whole principle also strange. But DD is now in Year 3 and will turn 8 in July. She loves it. It is not like a German classroom, I think Reception and Y1 are more like a mix of Kindergarten and Vorschule and First Year in German primary school.

If you are in England you could skip Reception but school places are allocated and all his friends are most likely to join big school when they are going in Reception. You - at the moment -have the right to delay but Councils do not like it and it may cause problems when you move local authorities and you stay until he goes to Secondary school.

I would def apply when you need it and accept any place you get. You still have 1/2 year to decide if you want to skip a year. But lots of skills are taught in Reception and I think a child would find it difficult. My German boss decided to skip Reception as they knew they would move out of the UK before their son would start Y1. He said the son found it difficult in pre-school as friends left, he was bored as the topics weren't challenging anymore.

Having myself started school at age 7, I too found it very strange - my DS started school at 4 years and 2 weeks.

Yes, regarding academics, reception year is very play based etc. however schools vary widely. In general I think you'd be lucky to find a school that won't completely 'institutionalise' your child. Reception is about shaping the children so as to make them manageable in such large groups. Invariably, the individual children's needs will have lower priority than the group/class as a whole. In hindsight I too wish we hadn't subjected DS to that.

You do not have to send your child to school, you know. Not in reception (as he won't be of compulsory school age until the term after his 5th birthday) but not in general, either. You can choose to home-school until you feel the time is right for him to start school, e.g. apply for a juniors place for when he is 7. You do not have to 'formally' school him if you home-school.
Seeing as children learn best through play, if you give your child plenty of opportunity for playing, he should learn plenty; and be able to keep up with those kids who are 'playing' in school.

BUT if you do not take up a school place for reception, (or another formal entry point such as junior school or secondary school), when you do apply for a school place, you will have to take whatever is offered - usually the nearest school that has spaces available, which could be miles away and/or a very unpopular school.

As others have said, reception should be very play based - this depends on the school, but my ds's school also does a lot of outdoor learning, in all weathers.

The rules were related last year. The school and LA can now consider requests to hold back a child.

A family at our school have held back their August born DC who will now start reception this September. Mum involved found the process very easy, was supported by the local playgroup. But I believe we have a very accommodating head teacher.

Relaxed not related

Out of interest, in those countries where children don't start school until six or seven - what do parents do about working? Does nursery care continue until that age?

Yes, Kindergarten runs until the child goes to school with 6-7. In Germany school start also depends on the single state you live in. Where I grew up cut-off is the 30th June while Bavaria has 30th September.

You also can delay or even get an earlier start a lot easier.

I think it is more relaxed with how to start school. But school itself is stricter, from Day 1 they have a time table, 45 min per subject and they are learning at a faster rate, like reading books similar to Gold level by Easter the following year. Obviously if you are older you learn easier.

I know of parents that have started their children in the January term also parents that send their children part time but its down to the discretion of the head

No it isn't. The Admissions Code is very clear that parents can choose to defer entry until later in the academic year or have their child attend part time, although the child must be attending full time no later than the start of term following their fifth birthday. Parents have the choice. The school has no say in the matter at all.

The rules were relaxed last year

Actually they weren't. They were just restated. Schools and LAs have always been able to consider requests to hold back a child. They were reminded that they cannot legally operate a blanket policy of refusing all requests to allow a child to enter Reception a year late. They must consider each case individually. However, in the majority of cases they will still say no.

Yes we had Kindergarten. It was pretty much compulsory to send your child to one year of Kindergarten (i.e. age 6-7) and you could choose to send your child for two years (i.e. age 5-7). However Kindergarten was completely play based - no letters or numbers at all. And we went for about 15 hours per week, so far from full time. And that seemed like lots.
I agree with noramum that once school started, it was at speed, academically speaking. But, again in agreement, it is much easier for 7 year olds to learn things like reading and arithmetic, than it is for 4 year olds.

However, even at age 7, school was not anything near full time. I went to school 6 mornings per week (including Saturday, not very common anymore) and 2 afternoons, which increased to 3 afternoons at secondary school age. Everybody went home for lunch (and came back to school if they had afternoon lessons).

So that kind of illustrates that when I was young, it was very hard even when your kids were school age i.e. 7+, for both parents to have full time jobs. It was expected that one parent would be at home, cooking lunch, looking after the one child who had the afternoon off (e.g. my afternoon sessions were on Tuesdays and Thursdays and DSis' sessions were on Mondays and Fridays... meaning one child out of school for every afternoon of the week, and both on Wednesday afternoon) etc.
At Kindergarten age it was even harder, as there was very little in terms of daycare available. Unless you had family locally.

Things have changed a bit since then. But for example my nephew just turned six. He started 'forest school' last August, at 5.4, and will continue there for a second year next August. He will then move to school when he is 7.4. His forest school is entirely outside, has no letters or numbers, and this year runs for 4x 3h sessions per week, next year being upped to 6x 3h sessions, including one lunch. The 3h sessions are seen as particularly long, the regular Kindergarten will only hold 2.5 hour sessions, but as children travel quite far for the forest school, they have fewer but longer sessions.

DSil has managed by being SAHM. She is now going back to work part-time, which is only possible as her MIL lives in the same house.

DS who is 4.8 can currently read and do arithmetic MUCH better than my nephew who is 6. I imagine this gap will increase until DNephew starts school in over a year's time - DS will then be starting Y2. But I have no doubts that DNephew will catch up very quickly once he does start school. And would actually prefer for DS to be messing around in the mud for now, instead of counting to 100.

Nowadays there are many more daycare solutions than there used to be when I was little. Nurseries, childminders, often subsidised but still extremely expensive. But as no-one goes off to school before age 6, nurseries etc. are structured around the needs of these older children too, and are not just intended for the up-to-five year olds, as our nurseries are here.