private vs. state WWYD

[primary2015confused]

Looking for different opinions and advice on what to do re 2015 primary admissions for dc1.

We live in an area of london dominated by faith schools and we don't meet the criteria to get in. All are oversubscribed so we won't get in under the any other children criteria. Locally there are two good community schools and 3/4 years ago we would have gotten in. We would not have received a place last year or the year before and its unlikely we will this year. The only other options available to us are the three worst performing schools in the borough. The SATs results for the school are poor, ofsted results are not great and they have terrible reputations.
Dc1 has a place at a local prep school. Its a friendly, nuturing school with good academics but is not a hot house. However I'm still unsure about turning down the state option for a prep school because:

• the cost. We can afford it but its still a lot of money which could be spent on fab holidays or a bigger house
• I don't want to wrap dc1 in cotton wool. Sending them to a prep school will be insulating them from the real world somewhat.

However I do want the children to reach their full potential and worry that might not happen with the state option.

Any thoughts or advice is welcome.

Ignore whether a school is state or private and think past glossy brochures and league tables. Think about the teachers and the students.

For what it's worth, which isn't much statistically, we have our two at an inner city state school (rated good) and they have made good friends, are happy and proud of their school and they have both been stretched even when 1-2 years "ahead" of their class. The teachers are young, sometimes it's their first post, but they are good, work hard and care about the kids as individuals (class sizes 30+). Child 1 gunning for level 6s (which is pretty good if you don't know what that means) and breezed through both entrance processes to selective secondary schools. Child 1 will be going to a private school now, after considering all schools, because it fit best, not because it's well known or top table.

Make decisions for the right reasons is my short message.

I'd go state. Few schools are a total disaster as its home stuff that matters far more. Use the cash for loads of interesting out of school experiences and holidays and give them a really happy interesting childhood

What have you been allocated OP? Haven't you already had to commit to paying the first term's fees to secure a place at the private school?

Hi I read this and wondered whether you're talking about Merton schools? If you are, I am happy to offer insights too, either by PM, on here, or on a thread we're running on our MN Local Merton & Wimbledon site here.

Good luck for today to everyone who's waiting for news of which primary school their DC's been allocated.

I was in the same situation. The only state schools we would be offered were not right for me (my reasons may have been controversial to some, but they were mine) and so we were left with the choice of move house or sacrifice the holidays and nicer lifestyle and go private. Did the latter and am so pleased we did. I don't think the middle class bubble effect is quite so bad in primary, the school we selected is lovely and nurturing and just sets really strong values for the children. The biggest benefit of private IMO is that they are not tied to the same curriculum as state so they tend to teach a much wider and more rounded set of subjects. I know some of the most outstanding state schools achieve their academic results as the cost of things like PE, for example one locally to me which has an Outstanding Ofted and amazing reputation does PE once a fortnight! My child has PE three times a week and swimming on top of that. They are still achieving well ahead of target in all academic subjects, but there is no pressure or hot housing.

BTW I come from a very working class background and was not privately educated myself, and honestly thought I would never send any children of mine private as I thought it was totally unnecessary with supportive parenting. Sadly the school system where I live now is nothing like the one that existed when I was young, and there are now schools which I wouldn't dream of sending my children to, and right or wrong some of the reasons for that are to do with the demographic of children (and their parents!) who attend that school. I am all for a bit of variety and reality when it comes to mix of children, but where I live the system is split into two ends of the social spectrum, and therefore none of the schools are a true reflection of a proper cross section of society, so why would I choose to send my child to one where they don't fit in.

Thanks again to everyone that responded.
We find out the state school allocation this evening.

Not keen on moving to private for Juniors as I found the 4+ assessments horrendous. At 7 all the local schools have exams plus interviews and I don't really want that for dd1.

Not in merton but am shocked that other parts of London have the same issues with faith schools skewing local admissions. I thought only north London had such a rubbish system.

Thanks idontwanttobuild. I never thought I'd use the private sector either. Bit sad its come to this.

We are in nw London as well and in exactly the same situation!

NW London is a variable place. Schools that are in Swiss Cottage and St. John's Wood (SHHS, the Hall, Arnold House etc) have a very affluent parent group and I would personally find it quite uncomfortable. They also point towards St. Paul's and Westminster which are very pricey options. Not clear if you've got just a daughter or a son too.

Ones further out like Habs and NLCS are much more mixed. Bear in mind that Channing and Highgate are around £1,000 per term more than a some of the others, so again will self select for very well off - however I have a friend at each of those schools and neither are oligarchs!

Have you looked at St. Margaret's in Kidderpore Avenue? It is a really lovely, very small school that is slightly cheaper than some of the others and the population certainly aren't all excessively wealthy. Girls only.

Children spend 9am-4pm at school. That's a long time. It needs to be right. Imagine if you were choosing your job for the next 10 years. Would you take the job where you might not be happy?

The faith school issue is just one dimension of the same argument used by different people in a system that isn't uniformly comprehensive:

• non/wrong-church goers not being in the right "club"
• boy/girl not being the right gender
• students, not taking or failing an 11+, missing out on grammar schools
• families not able to afford fees but too well off to get bursaries
• catchment areas shrinking to a self fulfilling rise in local house prices/rent
• [add your own grievance with admission policies and work our which club your are not in]

The complaints always come from the people excluded in some way. It's a situation that won't resolve as it can't please everyone all the time, or even some people most of the time, but only a minority very often. These forums (forae?) are full of this debate.

The only thing I try to do, when discussing other people, is not to be judgemental of their decisions or opinions so long as it is likely to be in the best interest of their child. If that means a church/grammar/postcode/private/single-sex/boarding school that's fine by me and I will never know your child as well as you do.

So op do you know which school you got? And has that made your choice any easier?