How do we help DD?

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DD is quite good academically. According to her, teacher tells her off if she lifts her head up during tests (assuming she is looking at others work), and somehow other children tap and and ask for help and she is the one who is told off. Now, I brought this up with the teacher and this is the response I got: " Yes, this happened yesterday, Child A is weak and isn't concentrating well (she is the top of the class) and she must have asked your child. But your child isn't supposed to help her. Child A should ask me. So, I told off your child". Now, how is this fair? What do I do? the longer I think about this I wish I had asked her "Did you tell child A what to do?" I just very politely told her I will teach my DD to shut but poor 6 yr old fears that if she doesn't help the top dog in class she won't have the best student for her friend anymore.

What would you do? What should I do? Help me, please

Does your child know she isn't meant to help? Maybe it is time the teacher reminded the children what they are meant to do. They are only small for goodness sake.

I would tell your child it is lovely she wanted to help but if the teacher said not to, she mustn't.

Also try and build her self esteem so she doesn't feel the need to "buy" the friendship by helping. If the other girl won't be her friend because your daughter won't help her, then she doesn't deserve your childs friendship. I know that is hard for little ones to understand but they fall out, make friends hourly at this age.

I think the teacher is wrong here. I don't think it's right to tell children that they mustn't help others. If the teacher knows the other little girl tends to ask for help and she wants her to do the test herself then why doesn't she sit her near her. I can't see how it is wrong to ask for help or wrong to give help.

DD knows she isn't to help in tests. I think she helps only during classwork. The teacher says there is pin-drop silence and you can hear DD. What puts DD off is that the other child(ren) who pat DD asking for help or whisper to her never get told off. Well, its unfortunate that DD isn't good at whispering. I think this is going on for a while now. Apparently DD was once made to sit on a table for almost the whole day and a couple of days later the teacher cited this to another child and said "you don't want to be made to sit separately like xxx, do you?" and yesterday when DD told her someone has taken her pencil she was told "It can't be yours and even if she has taken yours it doesn't matter" :-0 Actaully, I don't know whats happening. I am hoping DD heard it wrong.
DD says she is quite good at work and mostly finishes first or second and ends up doing extension work. She doesn't understand why the teacher would make her feel she is copying. This is all getting too complex for me.
what a long rant! sorry!

I would go in and speak to the teacher to find out her side. I wouldn't be very happy if it is as it appears to be at the moment.

You need to speak to teacher - it is rare to get a full picture from such young kids, they forget or put a different emphasis on things.

Explain to your teacehr your dd's feelings, but also make the point (tactfully!) that she should be telling the whole class what to do!

Particulalry she should make sure that your dd knows what is exspected of her and should be feeding back to you what your dd does.

My dd was adamant that she was concentrating and working hard but the teacher said not (eventually when i raised the issue!) - clearly a lack of communication which needs to be dealt with to stop the 'rot' - sounds similar in your case

Good luck!

I wouldn't be happy at all, don't agree with putting her on a table alone either as it's not good and is just humiliating for her. I think the whole school system is rubbish though and wish we could afford to send our ones to a steiner school, much more my philosophy but I do my best with them at home to teach the vaules and morals that are similar. Anyway, I would have a word with the teacher an express my concerns and unhappinness.