No one responded to our friendly notes

[JesusIsComingLookBusy]

Feeling really sad and a bit miffed on Ds's behalf. DS1 started in a new school last term and found the 3 weeks up to the holidays hard. He has ASD. He's in year one and there doesn't seem to be much of a buddying system in the school. He's quite shy and desperately misses his old friends :(. To try and sort things I gave our our details to class parents in the days before the end of term to try and arrange holiday play dates and despite some saying they would definitely be in touch I've heard nothing yet and we only have a few days left. To make matters worse we appear to have been ditched by the mums at my old school as invites for playdates to them have been rudely ignored. Are adults really so petty? We left his last school on very good terms or so I thought DS is dreading going back and I thought a friend or two would have really helped.

I wouldn't have called you. Too busy and trying to get thro holidays with FT work etc. But that doesn't mean I. Wouldn't be very happy for a play date to happen. I just need someone to make it happen. Don't be miffed and don't let on to DS that you are annoyed. This is v normal. Just approach a couple of nice mums with some specific dates and arrangements and be prepared to change dates/make it easy for them.

We moved schools with my DSs (both with ASD too) so I understand how difficult it is, especially when they don't come out chatting away with a new best buddy by themselves like a lot of other children seem to.

I found that contact with others in the playground after school was ideal - if my DSs seemed to get on or start playing with anyone at all I'd be right up to their startled parents to invite them over. Usually the parents were quite happy to arrange a play date, despite my probably coming over as a desperately grinning madwoman. A lot of the play dates were difficult to be honest, as they can be with ASD kids, but some were brilliant and they each have a small group of good friends from that time and so do I, so it was worth it!

Judging from FB and the office car park, everyone's away! Hols are a difficult time I think, I only have DC for a couple of days myself alongside work/childcare & visiting family. We don't have enough time to see people we know, let alone those we don't. And if you handed the cards as a general thing I don't think there's the expectation to reply as there is to a specific invitation.

I think you might have better luck in term time, with specific invitations. And maybe suggest getting together, making sure parent & sibs are also invited, so that the parent doesn't decline because they are not confident about hosting your son in return, without you.

Perhaps your son could host a pizza night for 2 or 3 classmates if he doesn't have a birthday coming up.

Chin up, have another bash and don't take it personally.

To be honest, I had all my holiday plans sorted well before schools broke up as I work and have little time off. If someone gave me a card I wouldn't contact them as wouldn't be able to fit in a play date, I tend to use the days I do have off to spend time with fsmily or meet up with old friends. Have met up with four families this hols and it's all people we have known for years, tend to be our family friends rather than kids from school.

I think you need to be more specific, ask son who he plays with and invite that child to to your house to play. The cards you gave out were contact details I would have stuck them in my purse but not necessarily realised that they were an invitation.

My dd has a new girl starting in her class after the hols, she came in for a look around and I have said to do that after the hols I will give dd a note to give to new girl inviting her and her family round.

Find out if the parents have a facebook page for the class that is handy too. Or host a get to know you event and invite ten kids and family to your home.

Good luck!

Don't be too disheartened. Our school parents are a really friendly bunch and we all planned to meet up over the holidays. We all live close. It's not actually happened yet! Everyone had been mad busy. People have used to sun as a reason to go away. People have decided to go away / camping / to the beach etc two ended up having to work etc
Just enjoy the holiday and try again as soon as you get back