DD getting upset when we do reading with her

[poppyknot]

DD1 is in P2 and seems to be enjoying school. She has an enthusiastic teacher and is happy with going to school.

She gets weekly homework which she does happily but when we do reading half the time she gets really upset and says she can't read anything.

We try different approaches but she is often too upset to do any. When is is in the mood she reads well and the books themselves seem to be right for her level. She is already saying that the 'clever girls' are on the next stage. I tell her she is clever but she is not convinced.

I have made an appt to see the teacher soon.

Rather than solutions, I was just looking for people who had had similar periods of distress. THe lat thing I want to happen is that a small thing becomes a complex.

As it is DD1 I am stil finding my own feet with the whole school thing! I remeber feeling thwarted myself at Primary school when others (and one in particular) got more gold stars on the class star chart and I hated the feeling of being left behind. I hope that DD will not feel this.

We didn't get distress, but we did get point blank refusal to read the books that were sent home. In fact for us it has come in year 1, when the books have got harder and more text-dense. I asked about it at a meeting we had with the teacher and was assured that it was better not to push it at home. So we don't
If he wants to read, we let him, and let him read what HE wants, and the rest of the reading is BY us TO him. School are happy with that, and he is still making good progress.

My dd gets upset now and again if she doesn't want to read or do the words she has, she's in reception. We don't push it at all and if she is getting upset then we stop. Do it while she's happy and let her stop when she's not, she might learn to hate reading otherwise and that would be such a shame. We don't agree with all the star charts and stars thing so we've taught the children that they are meaningless attempts to try and bribe children into doing things which they naturally enjoy anyway. She understands and now finds it really funny when school uses gold stars etc.

Why did you do that with the star charts? Isn't it enough just not to use them at home? I'm not a huge fan myself, but I wouldn't undermine the school's approach.

And also it isn't just getting them to do things they enjoy is it? Ds's target last year was to listen to other people rather than shout out, and he doesn't enjoy that AT ALL

My ds (Reception )is a fairly reluctant reader; we have a couple of strategies

1. we pick up a book and look really interestd in it, gigling, commenting on the illustrations to get him to come and sit by us, then we deliberately misread the words and he usually laughs at us and reads them correctly. he read two books that way tonight

1. we use a puppet for him to read to, which he likes doing sometimes (but his stubborness can get the betetr of him still!)

Because I don't agree with the use of them and it goes against my parenting principles being an APer. There is no point in just not using them at home as we teach the children the reasons why we do things and why we don't and training children like dogs are trained ie rewards isn't something we condone.

At this age is it and should be about what they enjoy so they build a lifelong desire to learn and really want to learn for the sake of learning new things rather than for the sticker they might at the end. There have been lots of studies showing the detriment of star charts and also ones which show how much better it is for the child to learn in the ways we do. If I don't agree with what the school is doing I'm not just going to go along with it, she's my child and if something isn't right then we talk and don't just leave her to get on with it. The fact is that she doesn't need incentive to want to learn, she learns because she enjoys learning about the world around her and why would I want that to change?

If it were down to me the school wouldn't use such rewards systems, which to me is substituting for real teaching and actually getting the childen to want to learn for the right reasons, but they aren't going to stop because I don't like it; therefore my dd knows how silly and wrong it is.

Agree with everything JodieG1 said.