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Breach of confidentiality or harmless chat? WWYD?

2 replies

ProfessorFarnsworth · 03/04/2015 15:49

I'm a (very) regular but have NCd and changed some arbitrary details for this.

I have recently taken my DCs out of school to home ed, did all the legally required stuff etc, no problems.

So my DNephew was chatting to me yesterday and said that he works with the daughter of the welfare person at DD's junior school. I guess this came up because we have a very distinctive surname, funny coincidence etc.

So then DN starts talking about things his colleague said about my DD. How we've recently taken her out (ok no big deal as obviously DN knew this anyway and may have mentioned it first)... but also how they "really want DD back in school and are trying to persuade her back" (erm, what? Her place has been filled already and we've heard nothing from the school at all!)

Also though, the colleague was telling DN specific details about a time when DD was really ill at school (just before deregistering - it was actually caused by the extreme stress DD was facing, although they probably didn't realise that themselves) and colleague's mum was dealing with her before I arrived. We hadn't mentioned this to DN so he definitely got it from the colleague.

I'm a bit weirded out that my DD has been discussed like that.

I know people talk about their jobs generally though, that's normal family chat surely, and maybe it's just gone a bit odd because DN's colleague realised the connection...

I did ask DN how the subject of DD came up and he just said he couldn't remember, but I think he realised I was a bit freaked out and that his colleague shouldn't have discussed it. I REALLY don't want to make things awkward for him, he's the youngest and newest in his first ever job.

I'm happy to be told I'm being stupid and oversensitive BTW! I'm just wondering, should I be pissed off that a member of staff has been discussing my DD by name (ie not just "one of the pupils" which IMHO is probably normal to some extent) with her family?!

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Eva50 · 03/04/2015 16:03

I would make an appointment with the welfare person and let her know what has happened. Tell her that you do not want DN to be made aware that you have spoken to her and therefor are not going to take it any further but don't want it to happen again. If you find out that DN is spoken to or anything further is said then report it to her superior. It was a breach of confidentiality.

MrsKCastle · 05/04/2015 20:26

Very unprofessional- why on earth would she have mentioned a name to her daughter? You have every right to complain to the HT at the school, if you wished to do so. It's an awkward situation because both the welfare officer and her daughter are to blame and if you say something you may make it difficult for your nephew.

I honestly don't know what I'd do in your place... probably let it go. Or perhaps contact the HT and say that you have spoken to an acquaintance who knew details about your DD that must have come from school- you could ask them to remind staff to respect confidentiality without being specifically?

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