SW London prep schools and moving on to good choice of secondary - can anyone give me their advice/experience as a parent?

[Everhart]

We are currently trying to choose between a few SW London prep schools for our DD.

What isn't that clear to me is just how important it is to go to the 'right' prep in order to heighten your chances of having a great option for secondary.

Naively I assume that if a child is bright enough (or has other outstanding personal qualities, sport or music etc) then at 11 they will get a place at a really great London independent day school regardless. ie that you don't neccessarily need to have been to a recognised 'feeder' school, or even just a prep that sends a few children to a certain secondary each year, in order to stand a chance of a place, if you meet the requirements.

But am I wrong? Do you need to be only really looking at prep schools that 'get children in' to specific 2ndaries? Obviously the children need to pass the entrance etc but does it just 'help' to attend a certain prep school in the first place, due to links/familiarity with certain 2ndaries?

Why I am asking: a prep school that in many ways would suit us well (proximity, affordable fees, nice atmosphere) doesn't have a particularly good track record with 2ndaries. Girls go on to a fairly limited range of quite local single-sex 2ndaries, whereas I think our ideal would be for DD to go on to co-ed and possibly a more wide-ranging location eg Alleyns, Latymer (sp?), Ibstock.

There is another prep school that I also like v much BUT journey is much further and fees considerably higher. However though non-selective also, this one seems to send children to a greater range of 2ndary schools, including several at more like the schools named above.

DD, we think, is really pretty bright (so hard to tell at this v young age, I do know that, so we are operating in the dark a bit!!) so we're not at this stage, anyway, worrying about how to get her through a tough 11+ entrance. Also, if she turns out not to be academically bright I think we'd rather she DIDN'T go through a stressful mill to end up at a school where she'd struggle anyway. But assuming she is bright, should we really be moving heaven and earth now (and it would mean either a nightmare school run at junior age, OR a stressful house move to somewhere much smaller, AND a headache wrt fees) to send her to the more 'well-connected' prep? Or, assuming she is bright etc, is it really immaterial, and she stands a perfectly decent chance of getting into our top choice of 2ndary wherever she goes?

Sorry, this is a rambling post, but it's just so hard to tell what the prevailing ethos is in SW London... SO much competitiveness going on that it can be hard to tell what is really neccessary and what is just hot air!!

Thank you hugely in advance!

A useful thing would be to ask for the destination schools for children from your local primaries. I don't think you'll find loads of kids going private, let alone getting scholarships, even if they are rated outstanding. As far as I'm aware my local primaries have only a tiny amount going to selective schools (usually boys going to the Sutton borough grammars) and possibly a couple of children going to private schools. Also ask about the churn in year 2/year 3 - as parents move to private schools. I know one school which lost loads at that point, not because people were moving house but because they were going private due to dissatisfaction with the school.

BIWI, apologies if I've annoyed you, I really wasn't trying to!!

I was just saying that unfortunately those excellent schools you listed for wobblypig aren't an option for us, we will of course put them down when we make applications but the 'catchments' are insanely small and siblings preferences make Dundonald, in particular, barely even an option for people living more than 50m away.

And yes, obviously we have indeed explored (open mornings, speaking to parents) the state schools that we would be most likely to get into - there are 2 - not going to bore anyone who's been nice enough to post on here with the reasons why (!) but we would much, much rather find the money for private.

Thanks hugely everyone for posting, DH and I are going to have a long talk over the weekend and try to hash out our issues with the whole thing one way and another.

OK, you don't like the local state, which entirely your prerogative. Go for the closer prep would be my advice. If there's something reaaally dodgy about it, then move your dd later but try to have as many years of an easy commute as possible.

You haven't annoyed me!

WobblyPig's criticisms of very good schools was what annoyed me.

And I had assumed - because you didn't say otherwise in your OP - that you hadn't been to look at the appropriate state schools in your area. If you have, then that's great.

I'd still be really interested to know why, when your DD is so young and you have no idea of her real intelligence/ability, that you would be ruling out state schools so soon.

I didnt say they werent very good BIWI I said that I wouldnt call them a fantastic resource: they are solid state primaries that is all.

Of course those that leave do so because of problems however many of those problems are not academic. Some of the people I know have moved from the state sector because of special needs or slower progress or indeed because they werent being stretched however you do have to question what that says about the state sector. It seems to me that is says that in a class of 30 in a good primary those with particular needs will not get want they need in some cases. I looked into this quite a bit as my daughter does have SEN and I though state sector might be better for her only to be dissuaded by a host of parents moving away from supposedly excellent schools like Pelham and Merton Park because their children's needs werent met.

You also have to question, in my view, the stress you put on a child by tutoring on top of a week at school. Tutoring seems to start younger and younger for a number of reasons and the ' save your money and tutor' is one of them. If you have the money why not send them to a school that can deliver the neccessary within school hours.

To those mentioning state schools, what do you do for the extra curricular activities that private schools provide? Are there plenty in the area? Or do your children go to the after school club? Just wondering how it works

The flip side of the SEN issue is that children can also be asked to leave selective and non selective Preps because of SEN such as dyslexia - has happened to several children round here.
To be honest the main difference between half the state schools and prep schools here is that the keeps get loads more homework which the parents like but they spend a lot more time on sport and extra curricular stuff during the day. Our state school in contrast does less 'extra' stuff during the day and consequently they all do loads of stuff after school as they get much less homework. The tutoring side of it tends to be an hour or so a week with a tutor from y5 onwards.
I have in the past wondered if the DCs should have gone to a private school- we could have afforded it and they had places but can honestly say I have no regrets. They are at a fantastic school which great teachers and potential SEN have been picked up very quickly.

Helloall, may I ask which school your DC go to?

I'm looking for excellent state schools in SW, any recommendations?

HungryDam- You can PM me if you'd like- it's a small school with a very small catchment area but don't want to specifically say which one on here...

Hello, of course I'll DM you

Helloall what you have said bears no relationship to my DS'S prep. They are all different but my Ds only gets homework at the weekend. No one is ever asked to leave his prep because of special needs as it is a non selective school. The selective schools like WHS are know to do this however. That just shows that you have to choose the school most suited to your child regardless of prep or state.

Wobblypig- I don't disagree with you- if you have the financial choice you should definitely choose the best school for your child and in fact children at our school sometimes have siblings at private schools. We are lucky to have a great state school that our children can go to but appreciate others might not be so lucky.

And there are are some prep schools around here that are fantastic with SEN but others ( including WHS's not too distant fellow GDST) that do not seem remotely interested despite having made such a big deal of their 'robust admission procedures' to spot the potential geniuses at 4+!

HungryDam For extra curricular stuff I book them in and take them after school or at the weekend. It does require a parent / granny / nanny after school, though.

The school itself has a lot of clubs for things like football and other activities that don't require particular facilities, but for things like swimming you need to look outside.

My sister's DC attend a Merton state primary (not one of those mentioned) one of these state schools and has seen four children join this year from local private schools. All saying now that what they are experiencing is superior to what is on offer previously. Some excellent state options in SW London.

Thanks, Gone, I've sent you a PM, hope you don't mind.

GoneGirl, I have a similar experience - people moving from local indie into Y3 at our small state primary, and overall relieved that they did so. I can't imagine that having happened a few years ago, interesting that it is now.

If I had preferred the ethos and seen happier kids in a local prep (we looked at two) then dd would have gone there. As it is, she has been extremely happy in our local state, is now a resilient well rounded 11 year old and is going to an indie school for secondary - chosen in the same way: which school feels like the best fit for her, not which sector is it in. She's very lucky to have that choice, obviously.

And fwiw, she's at a primary that has very, very few kids taking the 11+ (due to economic not attainment reasons) and had some tutoring in maths in Y4/5 as she was getting stressed about it - but none since. She did do some practice papers at home for a few weeks pre-tests.

Personally, I couldn't plan my dd's educational journey further than a few years at a time - I needed to see how she developed, and think about her needs as we went along. Its very hard, but I'd recommend trying not to take on board the highly contagious panic that flies around SW London with regard to education - enjoy your lovely 2 year old