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Primary education

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Original poster

Party invitation gone to wrong child! Advice please.

31 replies

Rubels · 16/03/2015 17:08

My daughter in Class 2 is having a birthday party and as well as inviting her whole class she wanted to invite 2 children from Reception and 2 from Class 1. It's a small school and the children from other years mix together a lot especially at play time. Today she took the invitations to school and dropped 2 off at reception and took the other 2 into Class 1. The teacher asked who they were for as there are 2 girls with the sam name. My daughter gave her the correct surname of the girl ( I hadn't realised there were 2 girls in same class with same name or I would have put surname on) but it transpires that the teacher has given the invitation to the wrong child! My little girl is upset about this as she rarely plays with this girl. I've no idea who this girl is let alone know who her mum is. my daughter went back into school this teatime to tell the teacher what had happened and the teacher said that she ( my daughter) told her the other surname. Not sure how to resolve this as there's no room for an extra plus she isn't really a friend so shouldn't really be at the party. any ideas???

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Holepunch · 16/03/2015 17:13

How can there be room for the whole class, plus extras and no room for one extra?

You'll have to make room, probably not everyone will accept/turn up anyway - would be unusual at a whole class party

Your only options are to do another invitation for the correct child, or not to, IMO

Original poster

Rubels · 16/03/2015 17:55

Yes it's a tricky one as it means paying for an extra guest as well as seeing if the venue will accept an extra child. Hopefully they won't come or mum will realise it's an error. Thanks for replying

OP posts:

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/03/2015 17:58

Someone is likely not to be able to come. I don't think you can uninvite her even if the invitation was unintentional. Not without seeming mean.

transferencesadness · 16/03/2015 18:00

I think you'd better get onto the venue and book an extra place. Withdrawing a party invitation would be very cruel.

squeaver · 16/03/2015 18:00

I think what will happen is the mother of the wrongly invited child will realise what's happened and let you know. Or, you could have a word with the class 1 teacher yourself. Maybe see if you can get a message to the mother. I'd do this tomorrow though - don't leave it.

But you should prepare for another person coming anyway. There are always drop-outs.

transferencesadness · 16/03/2015 18:01

Agree with the realMM that it's unlikely everyone will come, though. If they are any good at RSVPing at your daughter's school maybe you'll get an idea of numbers before the date.

transferencesadness · 16/03/2015 18:05

I definitely wouldn't bank on the mother of the "wrongly" invited child realising. I have no idea about who would or wouldn't invite my little girl to a party. I would be very upset on her behalf if an invitation was given and then withdrawn, I must say. I think you have to suck it up.

VenusRising · 16/03/2015 18:23

Wow this is why my dcs school refuses to handle invites, unless there is an invite for every child. While class parties are very common, but are usually shared by all kids born in April for eg. That way 4 mums go in together, and it reduces costs dramatically.

Seems very mean to withdraw this invite. I think you'll have to suck it up.

Also maybe this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

Try and stay positive, and book an extra place.

VenusRising · 16/03/2015 18:26

Whole class parties that should say.

I also think it's highly unlikely that the mum of this invited girl would twig her little darling is so unpopular that she was only invited in error.

Tbh I think it would do more harm that good to u invite her. U inviting her will create bad feeling and may have a negative effect on your dd in the school once word gets out (and it will!)

PastSellByDate · 16/03/2015 18:32

Agree with holepunch - someone won't make it and maybe this is some sort of celestial joke on all of you. Life's funny. I'm sure she's a nice kid - who knows she may be over the moon to have been asked - it's lovely to be included.

My view is this - your DC is so young that it is really difficult to know who will and won't become great friends in future.

As Rick said to Captain Renault in Casablanca - I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship....

gamerchick · 16/03/2015 18:35

You'll have to make room. It's cruel to take an invite back.

meglet · 16/03/2015 18:38

chalk it up to experience. not all the children will be able to come anyway.

CurlyWurlyCake · 16/03/2015 18:40

You won't have every child turn up, some will have family events or sports to compete in on that day.

You can't uninvite her.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 16/03/2015 18:40

You can't take it back

SanityClause · 16/03/2015 18:42

If you've invited the whole class, then there will be some that can't come. Just invite the girl your DD wanted in the first place, and confirm numbers with the venue once all the RSVPs are in.

Nowfeeltheneedtopost · 16/03/2015 22:33

I can see from this thread why my DD's school is very clear that teachers can't be brought into handing our invitations etc. Unfortunately, if you were not aware that there were two girls in the same class with the same name, then you simply need to accept that it was highly likely the invitation would go to the wrong one, as indeed it has. I think, as others have said, you will simply have to hope that enough children day no so that you can accommodate the children who say yes.

Samcro · 16/03/2015 22:35

you can't uninvite her

clam · 16/03/2015 22:42

No room for extras? What on earth are you going to do about all the uninvited siblings that, according to MN threads, will turn up?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 16/03/2015 23:19

Just leave it. Not everyone will be able to come anyway.

deliciouslytipsy · 17/03/2015 14:33

You can't uninvite her. Sorry!

deliciouslytipsy · 17/03/2015 14:35

Also you can't let the mum know it was a mistake (until after you become good friends...)

KaffeOgKage · 17/03/2015 14:37

make room!

If you're inviting the whole class there's definitely room for one more.

tabulahrasa · 17/03/2015 14:39

Not every child invited will come, that leaves room for her...she might not even come, but you can't uninvited her.

ReallyTired · 17/03/2015 14:42

Chances of every child who was invited turning up is very low. Let the little girl come, it would be cruel to withdraw the invitation. In life its a bad idea to make enemies of people you don't know.

Floggingmolly · 17/03/2015 14:43

If the girl in question if not particular friends with your child she may well not even want to come. Agree with pp though; a whole class party plus extras and you can't fit one more in???

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