Dodgy creative writing exercise - views?

[Fmarf]

Would like views in this.
A year ago (yes, this is an ongoing saga) the head gathered the whole school together and told them that the school playing fields were breing sold off for housing. According to my two, she put on a show of being upset. She asked the children to write a letter to ask that this not happen. Children came home from school that day and told their parents. Parents were concerned to varying degrees and there was some discussion in facebook. Some parents suggests this was not happening and it was just a writing exercise.
The next day we get a letter from school saying they had run a writing exercise and there was no intention to disturb (or something similar) and that this was a common technique In schools and that they may do it again. No apology.
So I complained on the basis that lying to children is wrong, it gives the wrong message (that lying is ok if you think you have a valid reason) and that it was also damaging to the relationship between teacher and child. I pointed out that this was poor role modelling.
The chair of governors said they would address it.
Instead of following their complaints policy (taking this to a panel of governors that had no knowledge of the issue where I would get the chance to put my points and the head to answer them) my comainy was given as part of the head's review of the year at a full governors meeting. They supported the head and said that the only change should be that they reveal the 'deception' within the same school day.
I was not happy with this and said so (after having had to chase the reaponse from them) and I was offered a meeting with the head to 'explain her rationale'.
I want my complaint to be dealt with properly and in accordance with their policy. I went to the department of education and they wrote to the schill reminding them to follow their own policy and said I could have a panel of governors from other schools to review the complaint properly.
Is it just me or is this a compete hash up on the school's part?
Is lying to children deeply wrong and should not be supported?
In all this time the head has not approached me at all (and we are into the 14th month since the original complaint). Would you expect a professional to try to tackle this head on or at least communicate with us?
So fed up with all this

People with autism have trouble understanding 'white lies'. I would say autistic children and parents may have a problem with this sort of thing as it makes no sense to them to tell, what they feel is, a lie. For example, a child on the autisitic spectrum will get very upset if they are asked to write a creative piece arguing witches are nice, when they know they are not and to them it is a lie. It can lead to great upset for them. But if children and adults aren't on the specrtrum, they will find it amusing and fun and be in on the idea. Not suggesting OP is on the spectrum, just adding my tuppence about where there may be a problem for some adults and children. School should perhaps give these families prior warning so they are not shocked.

Saying that, I would let it drop as you have made you're point.

Part of the original problem was also that the children believed the school and the lie then filtered out to parents and the wider community.

I'm not autistic and I'd have a real problem with it!

It's like a sort of viral teaching idea that was probably thought up by someone who wasn't a very good teacher.

Asking a child to imagine something rather than have it promoted to them as fact is still going to produce good results. Without the drama and upset that the alternative can and often does achieve.

Basically it's totally unnecessary. It reminds me of the sort of person who tells their kids that they will be kidnapped by monsters if they don't brush their teeth. Shite like that. Children believe these people, be it their folks or a school teacher.

It's unkind. Really unkind.

Popalot, by nature my whole family is very sensitive to others emotions and such a lie would be a negative thing for us

Maybe your family have a history of taking things too seriously Oooooh- perhaps a good time to lighten up and change the trend.

OP now has views- is she going to listen?

OP YANBU what a horrible stunt - so glad my DCs have left school if this is common practice nowadays - my DD's anxiety issues would have gone off the scale dealing with something like this. Why shouldn't the DofE be told this is dreadful policy?

I agree with patter. If you told the kids this sort of negative tale that garden is going to have to be sold, pretending to be upset just so you could get them to do a bit of creative writing everyone would say you were cruel and weird. Surprise kids! Grandad isn't really unwell but you made him really nice Get Well Soon cards so well done! Here's 10 as a reward (its a fake one from the joke shop).

and of course lying is ok if it is for the correct reason, we do it every day with every breath, it is called tact, diplomacy and management

It's not a teaching method I like, but it's not exactly the end of the world is it?

I think you need to put this into perspective OP, you're obsessing over something so unimportant. Imagine what you could achieve if you put that energy into something important! If this is the main worry in your life I really think it's time to get a hobby.

I don't love it as a technique, but the school have addressed it, taken it to Governors, and changed the policy going forward.
You seem to be somewhat over invested in getting the Head Teacher to come personally to you cap in hand and apologise. Why? Move on!

I would be livid.

Seriously?

Mumsnet is like a parallel universe sometimes.

Seen and heard of this kind of thing done many times and never thought anything of if. In fact I've found that the children have also not thought anything of it and have been able to laugh about it.
I would never have considered complaining about it in the first place let alone still being bothered over a year later.

WOW. Still wound up a year later. Let. It. Go.

I've never heard of this technique. This would upset my children deeply. I'm shocked it's considered ok.

I find this thread depressingly familiar.
A complaint was made in the appropriate manner and has been dealt with in a terrible way. It no longer matters to the OP if the method is used again ( I'd argue the damage has already been done!)but it matters that it has taken 14 months for a response and then it goes against their own policies and procedures!
The way the board have handled this in no way suggests that they have the children's best interests at heart, just that the HT be given the chance to normalise the situation after the dust has settled.
A common problem I have found in local schools.

I agree Christie I often feel I have strayed into a parallel universe with MN! I have endless fascination with it- I never come across them in RL ( thankfully)
Some people must be in danger of high blood pressure if such things get them 'livid'- I am not sure how they cope with real problems.

'Damage been done' confused
I doubt they remember it.

The OP is lucky this event was relatively mild - some schools have terrified children by pretending aliens have genuinely landed. Children vary in their degree of emotional sensitivity, and it is likely that this is largely hereditary, like so many personality traits. People who are blessed with more robust make-up should perhaps try to be a little more sympathetic, rather than suggesting it must be the fault of the family involved.

I would add that many adults have perhaps forgotten how intense and immediate a small child's lived experience is, and how different this is from a more adult perspective on the world. I think the effect would depend a lot on the age of the child, and I would be uncomfortable with it being used with younger children.

Wow I can't believe they pretended aliens were invading! My dd would be very upset by that (not sure if she'd care that much about the playing fields). But she wouldn't like it and would think that the teachers tried to play a nasty trick on the kids. Surely this sort of thing would destroy the respect kids have for their teachers.

There are still schools that have playing fields? Most surprising thing about this thread.

I am shocked that this happens and it is deeply unethical. I work in a university and have been a member of the ethics committee scrutinising what researchers can and can't do with human participants. I doubt very much we would allow this to be done as part of any psychology experiment involving children. It's horrific actually.

I would have been up in arms about this and taken it as far up the chain of authority I could. It's not a minor thing at all and the OP is quite right to challenge it. It is deceptive and uses the children as experimental subjects because the aim is to evaluate the response they get from telling the lie . The gold standard is always freely given, fully informed consent and any work with children requires parental consent and the ability to opt out of the research.

I'm also at the people who think lying is nothing much to bother about. I did not lie to my children, I did not lie FOR my children ("no, I won't say you've got a fever because you haven't revised for your test!") and I hope my, now adult, children have learned that lesson. If the school had undermined me in this way I would have been furious.

What percent of parents have also complained or is the OP a lone voice?