Help for reception child

[JammyGeorge]

Ds1 started reception in sept.

First term was very difficult, he struggled with the other kids, his behaviour in the playground was terrible with lashing out and it was a generally stressful time for everyone.

Parents evening tonight and general message from the teacher is positive. His behaviour and social development has improved massively. She had been doing a daily home/school diary but doesn't think he needs it anymore as bad behaviour is now the exception rather than the rule, iyswim. So all good.

However, she said his phonics and maths are below the level they would expect and if it doesn't improve they will have to get someone in to work with him. She then glossed over it and said she didn't think it would come to that that as he is maturing his work is improving and she doesn't think it will happen but just to warn us incase he doesn't improve after easter.

She said he's not interested in the work and thinks he doesn't have much confidence.

So wise people of mumsnet what can I do to help my boy along? I try with homework and writing etc at home but he's just not interested, he has hardly any attention span. The only time I've ever seen him vaguely interested in anything is when we signed up to reading eggs for a free trial and he got to play on DH's tablet.

Does anyone know of any good online aids? How do I get him 'interested'? Is it just something that comes with age? I've never tried to pressure him before as I've thought he's just not ready yet but now I really think I need to help him.

I don't have experience but I did want to say that nothing is "fixed" with a child of this age. Its not the case that your son will always be "behind". If he isnt interested he isn't interested - and it sounds like just going to school full time is more than enough for him at the moment.

He is improving, he is adjusting to school, his behaviour is getting better and he is still very little. Many children really aren't ready for proper learning till they are 6 or 7.

Mine is in Y1 now. We had no probs at all in YR with the academic or behaviour side but we were told she was behind "expected" levels in terms of her ability to stay focussed and not daydream and to alway listen and concentrate, and in terms of her physical confidence.

Of course I worried about that but we have just had our second Y1 parents evening and I am told all the daydreaming and selective concentrating is a thing of the past and she is now very focussed and with it. We were also told she is at the expected level for her physical confidence now.

So it was all just lack of maturity last year. She was exceeding expected levels on some things, reaching them on others and not reaching them in others. They can't manage everything all at once, some things bring up the rear. I bet in a year or two your son will be much more ready to learn.

Thanks for the replies.

That was pretty much my thoughts on the matter so when we were sitting down with a pen and paper if he was getting stressed and not wanting to write etc I just let him draw. I didn't push things but I'm now thinking I need to raise my game and come up with ways to help him along.

We do do lots of counting but life is so busy with ds2, working and the house to give it any real time ifswim.

Maybe in need to keep reminding myself to bring it into day to day things.

Speech bubbles are a good idea we once drew a huge town and he enjoyed writing the names on the buildings.

I thought he'd enjoy writing Christmas cards but it ended up in tears of frustration. He says I can't do it but when he actually applies himself he can he just won't try. The teacher thinks this is more of confidence issue.

Usborne do some wipe clean books that are great for helping pen control etc - my DS1 is in reception and love them.

Could he do dot to dot to help with counting? Or mazes where he's tracing a route?

When was he born? We expect so much of children when they are so young. I second advice to let him draw. At the start of this year (reception) my son wasn't even interested in making marks, he moved on to some interest in drawing and now is more keen on writing. And he's the oldest in the class!

I've got the wipe clean books I thought it would help, he looked at them once then got all huffy and didn't want to do it. He just doesn't seem to enjoy doing those sorts of things.

I wonder sometimes if he does have some sort physical co-ordination or memory issue and that's why he finds it so frustrating.

Does anyone know any decent online programs for numeracy or phonics? He seems to like 'games' on the tablet like that. Touch the picture that starts with X sort of thing.

I'm just fumbling about trying to find something he can engage with and enjoy to try and help him along.

It's his birthday next week so just about 5.

I've always been of the opinion that's he's young and not to push it but I thought it was just phonics he had issues with I thought his counting was ok but it's behind as well so I'm just thinking right we've got the boundaries and behaviour in hand how do I help him with the academic side.

Also to be 'getting someone in' whoever that is surely would only happen if he's got a problem of some sort? He's my eldest this is all new to me.

Sounds like he has made great progress socially I don't know about tablet games but my son is interested in numbers when it involves something he cares about like putting his cars in teams of four, or lining up seven dinosaurs etc. If I join in playing with him I try to do one or two things like that as we go along. Now he's more into drawing I ask him to draw x number of things and he's pleased when he gets it right.

He does like playing shops I'll maybe get his little shop set up in the front room again. We've got lots of plastic money he likes counting out!

Read to him and maybe ask to point out letters he knows. Play board games for attention span, counting with a die and taking turns. There are also some who practice letters or simple sums. We have a set of Disney story books with CDs. DD loved them when she started to read as she could follow the story while "reading" and bit by bit she did simple words on her own.

Do you have a yard or a driveway?Get chalk out and let him write there or draw.

Play dough is good for fine motor skills. Sticker books or mosaic sticker picture as well. Let him cut out words or letters from magazines and "write" letters with them or leave anonymous treasure hunts for his sibling or daddy, grandparents you.

Accept help if the school provides it.

I was a TA / helper in primary schools for over twenty years. I'll add a couple of things, one for Phonics, the other Numeracy. But, only 'suggest' he does things, don't push too hard:

ONE - An inexpensive and easy to use book, that can encourage children with reading, spelling and writing, and really help them to understand Phonics, is reviewed in the MN Book Reviews section. Just search ‘Phonics’.

TWO - Practical things are best for grasping number concepts - bricks, Lego, beads, counters, money, shapes, weights, measuring, cooking.

Do adding, taking away, multiplication (repeated addition), division (sharing), using REAL OBJECTS as just 'numbers' can be too abstract for some children.

Number Bonds of Ten forms the basis of much maths, so try to learn them. Using Lego or something similar, use a LOT of bricks (of just TWO colours, if you have enough) lay them out so the pattern can be seen of one colour INCREASING while the other colour DECREASES. Lay them down, or build up like steps.

So:

ten of one colour none of other
nine of one colour one of other
eight of one colour two of other
seven of one colour three of other

etc,

then of course, the sides are equal at 5 and 5; after which the colours 'swap over' as to increasing/decreasing.

To learn TABLES, do them in groups that have a relationship, thus:

x2, x4, x8

x3, x6, x12

5 and 10 are easy

7 and 9 are rather harder.

Starting with TWO times TABLE, I always say: "Imagine the class is lining up in pairs; each child will have a partner, if there is an EVEN number in the class. If one child is left without a partner, then the number is ODD, because an odd one is left out."

Use Lego bricks again, lay them out in a column of 2 wide to learn 2x table. Go half way down the column, and move half the bricks up, so that now the column is 4 bricks wide. That gives the start of 4x table.

Then do similar things with 3x and 6x.

With 5x, try and count in 'fives', and notice the relationship with 'ten' - they will alternate, ending in 5 then 10.

It is important to try and UNDERSTAND the relationships between numbers, and not just learn them 'by rote'.

An inexpensive solar powered calculator (no battery to run out!) can help learn tables by 'repeated addition'. So: enter 2+2 and press = to give 4. KEEP PRESSING = and it should add on 2 each time, giving 2 times table.

There are good web sites, which can be fun to use :

www.ictgames.com/

www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/page/default.asp?title=Woodlands%20Junior%20School&pid=1

Thanks so much for the suggestions I'm going to get onto it.

I'm off work over the easter break so will see if I can try some different things.

He's just so negative and defeated by it all. He tried to sign a card for his grandma and did a letter the wrong way round and his reaction was 'I can't do it' 'can't do any of it'. It's almost like he's reaching a stage where he knows he's struggling himself. He has said in the past the other kids have called him stupid because he can't read (disclaimer I don't know if this is true but I have mentioned it to the teacher).

It is tough for children to feel like they are struggling particularly in a class where they may feel everyone is flying. They need to see the reason for learning how to do these things. If I can count out 10 lego bricks I can make a car. If I learn to read I can read a book about football, rugby, ballet, the instructions to the computer game I want to play.

It takes a lot of energy with such children but it is ultimately one of the most rewarding things to see them progress (as opposed to children who just get it and get on with it). Writing and reading take a lot of energy you need to over praise pick out each individual thing they can do for praise, keep the energy levels high when your doing it to not allow them to flag. Get phonics mats off one of the websites twinkl, sparklebox and use this in writing as in think what you need, find what you need, write it.

Maths I would play snakes and ladders for counting to 10 and then twenty. I would get number cards to order. Match numbers with dots and use a numberline initially to promote the 1 more/less scenario.

One note to ferguson a lot of what you describe is excellent but not all is necessary for reception. really I would concentrate on proficiency with numbers 1 - 20 first.

I wouldn't recommend Sparklebox at all - unless you are mad keen to enable a twice convicted paedophile to profit.

just one thing to add on the writing- my ds has always been good on the reading and numbers but he just wouldn't try writing and when he did used to get really upset if he did something 'wrong', not that we ever said it was wrong but he was very hard on himself. His school let him write on a white board rather than paper so he could rub it out before anyone saw it if he wasn't happy with his work.

On the iPad, my 5yr old DS enjoys 'Maths, age 3-5' and 'Maths, age 4-6'. Loads of different concepts covered, but each level is 10mins, max.

Or ban rubbers. There are no mistakes. It is common to have children use whiteboards for everything.

Poor wee dote

I have one similar, DS2 is 5 min May, and I think young for his age. I deliberated about deferring his school place tbh. He is not achieving "expected" levels in writing or reading. He is also quite shy, and teeny bit deaf, so this is not a surprise to me.

Some consolations, perhaps:

If your DS and mine had started school in 2013, what was "expected" of them would have been much less challenging - the new curriculum has ramped up what they want schools to have taught by the end of the year. Achieving the new set of arbitrarily designated expected goals is actually really more of an issue for the school than for your child.

In my experience (two other children now years 3 and 5), lots of very young children are simply not developmentally ready to do reading, writing and maths. Neither of my older two was the slightest bit interested in reading until they were nearer 5 and 3/4 when things started to click…and then away they galloped.

Really pushing it, IMO is fruitless, frustrating and demotivating. Instead I am continuing to do things that we both enjoy - lots of drawing (we do "family drawing time" - some of us draw vases of flowers, some of us draw ninja turtles); and sharing really good quality books at bedtime (DS still enjoys some lovely more "babyish" books like Hippos go Beserk which are great for learning/reinforcing number sequences etc) but mainly to encourage a love of an interest in books and reading, when the time is right. If he wants to write or count or sound out then I respond to that.

Re getting someone in - I'd be happy with that - at our school they often have a little group ("nurture" group or "intervention" group depending on the preferred language) to give kids extra support and attention. That's a good thing.

Hippos Go Berserk is my favourite book of ALL time!

As well as the ap I suggested I found educating myself was amazingly helpful in enabling me to help my DD. take a look at Debbie Hepplewhite's Phonics International website and print off one off the free Alphabetic Code charts for you both to share. I found that it was helpful to work out the sounds in words together, and maybe becaus e I really was clueless dd went along with it. We learnt together and she felt clever rather than defeated.

Thanks for all the suggestions so I've not been around we had his birthday party this morning so it's been all go!

Gopher I think getting my head round it all myself will really help. Sometimes I struggle to work out what sound is what it's a long time since I was at primary school.

Ill second Papermovers recommendation of the Sounds Write app
[[Initial Code by Sounds-Write Ltd
appsto.re/gb/Pcq2T.i]]

www.sounds-write.co.uk/apps.aspx