daughter struggling at reception advice please

[triciajac1]

Hi everyone I am new to mumsnet and need some advice. My daughter started reception in September and has been miserable ever since. She comes home from school cross and grumpy, and has a great deal of difficulty reading the little books they send home with her, the more we try and get her to do the more upset she becomes, dad and I try and be as patient as we can be but it's hard, she says everything is fine as school but when we ask what she did she says draw and paint, she also claims the teacher and assistant don't do any reading with her, they just practice the jolly phonics stuff.

I have looked into a different school but in our area they are all full and cannot take a new admission.

Any one with reception experience is this just what reception is like?

Her birthday is in June so she is still 4.

Kind regards.

Have you spoken to her teacher about this? In the nicest possible way, it's a bit upside-down to start looking at other schools it you haven't. Is she grumpy because she's tired? Or resistant to learning at the minute? They are still so small that the full days can really take it out of them. I find it really useful to make sure my reception child has a proper filling lunch, whether it's school dinners or a good packed lunch, then to get a snack down him as soon as he's out of school. That really helps with the grumpiness.

Cross and grumpy = tired I would guess. TBH I would back off doing the reading at home if she is finding it too much. Or you could maybe try doing it before school when she is fresh?

Most of what they do in Reception will be teaching the tools for reading i.e. phonics. She will probably have some 1-1 or small group reading with an adult, but may only be once a week.

Can I ask why you are looking for a new school - I'm not sure what your exact issue is? Lots of 4 year olds who are starting to learn to read find it hard!

They introduce reading, expose them to it but they're not expected to get it, some teachers and a lot of parents don't follow this though. My oldest was a very late reader. I never read the books they sent home because he didn't want to, I was constantly pestered by teachers so I just started signing the reading diary to shut them up. I read the books to him or we just talked about the pictures. He's 11 now and always reading, he loves it and scores very high on reading tests. They read when they're ready. He was about 7 went from pink books to proper books in under a month and never looked back.

Don't stress reading. As for being tired and grumpy, a full school day is a lot for a 4 year old. She's probably very tired.

I agree with gg. You've looked at new schools based on your daughter's say that they don't do any reading with her? Do they not have a little reading book to say if they've read with her?
Reception is a lot based on play so yes they will do a lot of drawing and painting, and learning through play.
You sound a little over-focussed on the reading thing, they are tiny, she will get into it at some point. My DD is 4 (August birthday), she will sometimes read with me, but will often be a pain in the bum and say she is too tired. My son is 6 and in YR1 and was about the same as her at this stage - and the difference in their reading abilities now is phenomenal (only average/slightly above average for Y1 but doing well from a reluctant start)! I can't put my finger on when he "clicked" with reading but maybe start of Y1.
Re her being "miserable" - have you checked with the school about her being miserable when she is there? She could just be exhausted!

My little June born DS struggled in reception during the late winter. The "honeymoon" of starting school had waned and he was really tired. He went mornings only for about a month because he was getting poorly a lot. He picked up a lot in spring when there was more playing outside.

Being grumpy and tired is pretty standard for reception. I'd speak to the teacher to see how your DD is in class, and to ask for advice on how you can best support her.
If she's tired when you're trying to get her to read, it probably isn't going to work. I know when DS was at that stage, he needed something to eat and drink as soon as he came out of school, and then about half an hour to let off steam by running about or playing, before we sat down to homework.

The concentration on phonics in class ia pretty normal as it helps children become confident readers. The teachers don't always have time to read with every child in class. You should try and use her phonics knowledge to help her read at home.

As for colouring and painting, they need some down time and its lively to get a picture bought home for you.

Being grumpy is pretty normal she's probably hungry maybe try an after school snack.

My ds1 did diddly squat in Reception. He left being able to write his name. My younger ones did a bit more, but still I'd say 75% of the day is play and doing what you like with 1 phonics slot and 1 topic slot max. It's a gentle way in. Don't force things, or make it fun, try and spell words out that you see on the bus 'stop' or 'milk', single words rather than a whole book which must be overwhelming when she's tired.

I imagine being grumpy could also be tired.

There MAY be deeper issues with a learning difficulty but it's hard to say yet. I would make an appointment with the teacher (we've had 2 parent's evenings now, have you not?) and see how the teacher thinks she's doing, if she's struggling, and what she's struggling with. Maybe it's sitting still, focussing, reading. Maybe she will grow out of it. Maybe there are friendship problems. Have you observed her with the other kids?

FWIW, I don't think your dd would necessarily know what is wrong. But yes, I don't really know why you are looking for another school because she is grumpy and tired and says the teacher doesn't read with her!

Thank you everyone. I was thinking of changing schools because at our one 30% of the children peace year six unable to read at the required level according to the league tables. I guess I have been worrying she is falling in to that category. Your replies gave helped me to put things into perspective though. I am meeting the teacher today so hopefully I will know more about what she is doing during the day x

Do come back and let us know what the teacher says. I hope it all goes ok for you and he or she can put your mind at rest a little.

Hmmmm yeah, the 30% stat isn't good. What is their OFSTED rating?

But anyway, the mere fact you are concerned means your dd won't be one of those. Even if it means getting a tutor in Y2 if she's really not making progress with the school. If they send reading books home, that is a good thing. Not all schools even do that.

I would sack off reading at home for now and just read to her instead. In our reception class some still don't get it at all, some have mastered level 1 pink and some are on level 2 red books etc - it's not all age related as some of the older boys are behind the summer girls etc - each child progresses as such diff rates. Reception children are often exhausted - mine isn't but many really are. As long as her is happy when there, sociable, making friends and the teacher is happy then don't worry. The 30 percent is high - what do the school say they are doing about it? (You may find the info in governor meeting
Minutes)

Oh and yes reception is play based.?ours do lots of structured play learning activities based on topics eg. Going on a bear hunt, shops, farms, our families, building things etc They do 20min phonics in the morning.

Is 30% not reaching Level 4 really high? Sounds about average to me ... My DC's school have never achieved 70% getting to Level 4, but it's indicative of their varied intake, not the teaching. If OP lives in a naice middle class suburb with middle class professional families, it may be cause for concern ...

Ok, well my kids' school is 90% Level 4 in English. We live in Newham, one of the poorest, and most diverse boroughs in London. In my son's class, the vast majority do not speak English at home but I can't find figures for the school.

I would say it was high. One of our Iocal schools has a very disadvantaged intake and gets 95-100% level 4+ in reading. I think there are a lot of schools in poorer areas of London, like MerryMarigold's getting similar results with the added complication of a large number of children with EAL as well.

Our MC nice area school would have zero excuse. Near me tho there are at least 3 or 4 schools that I know of in very deprived multicultural areas with extremely high numbers of children that don't speak English on entry that get over 90 percent against all odds. I would query it.

It'd be natural for her to be very tired after a long school day - albeit reception. My 4 year old DD is grumpy and tired after her 3 hours at nursery.
If expect/ hope for decent phonics teaching at school and for the teacher to listen to my child read at least once a week.
Have you tried to short her with reading before vs after school - even of for 5 minutes per day?
Your input would be invaluable and I'm sure that you're already doing lots to support her.
Just be careful not to create Rok much anxiety or pressure around reading. Help her to read for enjoyment. Read TO her. Help her to develop a love of books.

I'd - not if
Support - not short
If - not of
Too - not Rok

Gosh. I could do with 5 minutes of proof reading per day. Hee hee

Op, my dc3 is in reception at the moment, my older two are in yr 3 and 2, so it's all pretty recent for me.

They try so hard to concentrate and listen at school that my dd3 is terrible when she comes home. Tired and stroppy and takes it out on me! Older DCs have activities after school and she's knackered! My older two were like this but during yr1 they got better. They also stopped falling asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow!

My first DCs were reading before chridtmas in reception, and reading every day with an adult, they are great readers. However, reading had not yet clicked with dd3 and she doesn't read daily with an adult. It was a shock to us. We can really only go on our previous experience, we don't push daily reading at home, but we read signs etc, talk about sounds in people's names etc and read to her daily. I second a pp who said that as long as your focused on yr child education, they won't be one if the ones leaving school without being able to read.

It happens at our school too, children leaving yr 6 unable to read. It must be one of the most disenfranchising things that can happen to a child.

I'm interested in this 30% below L4 at end KS2. If you've been given any advice on reading with your dd what was the advice? What are the books that she is bringinghome ? Do they focus on the 'sounds' she has been learning?
I agree that it's early days yet but if the school isn't getting the reading instruction right now it is unlikely to get better.

30% not reaching level 4 is dire, whatever the school.

Presuming the OP did mean just reading and not English, then 89% reached level 4 nationally last year. Newham had 90%, but that's with a cohort of 55% disadvantaged children and 76% EAL (compared to 31% and 18% nationally). None of the schools that have published results for Newham got less than 80% to level 4.

70% is appallingly bad. Unless they have large numbers joining year 5/6 unable to read and/or speak English, any school that tells you their results are that low because of their disadvantaged intake is having a laugh.