Severe bed-wetting and residentials

[OinkBalloon]

8yo ds has his first school residential coming up in October (he'll actually be 9 by then).

He has never been dry at night, and wees so much at night that he can go through 2 nappies in one night.

We've tried lifting him, lifting him twice, and not lifting him at all. We've tried restricting his intake before bedtime. We've tried Desmopressin.

Nothing gets him through the night dry. At best, a double dose of Desmopressin keeps him to one extremely full nappy, rather than two overflowing ones.

Ds is desperately worried about the residential. He wants to do the night-training with the alarm. But I'm not convinced it will sort him out by then, just possibly add to his anxiety. On top of that, he had chronic constipation (4 x Movicol/day, plus holiday disimpactions), and has overflow issues to deal with.

I know teachers are used to dealing with bedwetters on residentials, but to this extent?

Please advise!

Discuss with school but be ready not to send him in the residential it sounds like too much for him to cope with away from home and will there be the facilities to deal with it, are the teachers prepared to do it?

Definitely talk to the school. You may find that a member of staff is willing to wake him to change his pull up in the night if need be. Needs careful managing but success on a trip like this could be an amazing self esteem boost.

My nephew used the alarm trainer and it worked for him. Emotional experiences make it worse for him though even now at 13.

Good luck

Would they be prepared to take another adult helper for him (other kids don't need to know it's for him).

? Not .

We would be prepared to do it at my school. We would rather discreetly lift a child several times during the night, than have them miss out on the trip.
The teachers will work out a system and code words with your son before they go, to ease his anxiety.

There is an organisation called ERIC who support people with bed wetting.

We successfully used an alarm with all 3 DC, and it took about 2 weeks for them to be fairly reliably dry, with only the odd wet night after that, for a while.

If you decide to do it, a good tip is to make up the bed twice, so, put on a mattress protector, then a sheet, then a second mattress protector and second sheet. If he wees, you just have to take off the top lot, and he's straight in a clean, fresh bed.

Do you really think a teacher might be prepared to lift him? Oh that would be wonderful! (FGS you've made me cry - it never occurred to me that that might be a possibility. Oh god better not get my hopes up.)

Ds is desperate to go. Dh and I even considered volunteering as helpers (we're both CRBed and have relevant experience) but half the point of the trip is for ds to be away from parents.

I'm desperately wary of the alarm training, as I found it very traumatic as a child. Genetics!

Talk to the senco at school and get a plan
It in place

Not a solution, but brolly sheets have made my life so much easier. We use the half sheets and they are brilliant. Maybe try one?

I'm in a very similar position with the only exception being that one night-time pants usually covers it.

My DSs school is very keen for him to go. They have been really good with daytime issues and say at 9years there are still quite a few children who are not dry at night.

Can you get the teacher to take him (+some others to disguise the need) to the toilet say at 11pm. I'm assuming they will still be awake then.

If he's in a sleeping bag then can you send a spare one (same colour if possible) so teacher can change it if neccessary?

I've told mine that on a,morning he can get out of his night-time pants while in the sleeping bag and shove it to the bottom. We've been practicing this at home. So the others won't realise he's wearing heavy pants.

I've also just bought him pjs with a long top and with loose pants to cover his bum up. Again send two the same so if he's wet he can disguise the problem.

What I wouldn't do is not send him. Our children have it really tough having so little control over their bowel/night-time bladder. A trip away will increase their self-confidence enormously if the soiling/wetting is handled discreetly. And it sounds like your school, like mine, is mire than happy to do so.

*more

We went through this before too. The school were excellent and even said you will be surprised that yours is not the only one. They also had a system that all children needed to take a cuddly toy and if you needed to talk to a teacher you put your toy on your pillow. So my son could have put it there to let them know that the bed needed a change and pjs needed washing/drying etc.

Definitely don't me shy to speak to the school. Also have you been back to the Eneuresis clinic or asked for a consultant appointment as that sounds bad. Son is now 13 and we still have occasional wet bed and 2 sets of White Company waterproof sheets that are used under his bedding.

Defo speak to school as you won't want him to miss out unnecessarily. Also they put children into various sized rooms. Ours was put in a small room with just a couple of his friends who already knew and were discreet about son's issue. I feel for you having been there.

Given most teachers are awake half the night anyway, lifting your son wouldn't be too difficult, I did on my last residential. No teacher wants a child to miss out on a residential, just ask!

My DD's teacher tells me they've done all sorts including lifting Y6s, and I am absolutely not to worry AT ALL, they will deal with it.

Have you tried any other meds? Might be worth exploring that option. Does he go to enuresis clinic? I think if he is keen to try the alarm I would try to support him in that, if possible. I'm wary of it too as I don't think DD would ever sleep,bbut I think if she wanted to, I'd owe it to her to give it a go and just let her stop if she wanted.

From reading on ERIC's website, I think our broad plan is for DD to get into her nappy while having her evening meds, in private, or leave them in the disabled loo and change into them after lights out. In the morning, not sure whether she will leave them in her sleeping bag or change out of them first thing before everyone's up, again in the disabled loos.

Oct is a long way away, and this is something that can sort itself out really suddenly so plan for the worst, but also hope for the best!

My 8yo has recently used the alarm and it seems to have worked within a matter of weeks. Prior to this, he took desmo for about 7 weeks continually as we were away for 3 weeks and the nurse wanted us to start the pills early to make sure they were the correct dose. When he came off the desmo, there was an immediate improvement. Instead of wetting every 2/3 nights, he was only wetting once a week. The nurse said this was quite common. Maybe the break from wetting allowed his body to reset what was normal? Anyway, he then tried the alarm and it seems to have worked relatively quickly. We're now on day 17 of no wetting. In November, it was every second night. It hasn't been traumatic at all. My ds may have just been lucky, but if your ds wants to give it a go, I wouldn't let your bad experience stop him going ahead. It may just work.

We tried an alarm with DS at age 9, who at the time wet several times a night and had all the difficulties of chronic constipation. I was surprised that it helped in 2-3 weeks of use. Like you we had tried everything and had thought an alarm was not possible because ds has LD, and was very sound sensitive - and frankly I was beginning to loose hope! So as you have a little time before the trip, it might be worth giving an alarm a try. We bought our own pant worn alarm from ebay (+new sensor), rather than use the mat style ones the NHS can loan (long wait for the clinic). Its best to avoid sweaty hot weather, but have good drying weather (as a waterproof pull up cannot be worn with an alarm so lots of washing in the first couple of weeks) so late spring/early summer is a good time. We had to go back to using it for learning reinforcement but things got so much better. Theoretically it can be set to silent,(vibrate only) so could be used discreetly in a sleepover setting, but I suspect a pull up would be easier.
But discuss it with school nearer the time as others have said. Good luck.

Maggiso, after your ds became dry through using the alarm, did he have to get up to go to the toilet several times every night?

I know I need to get past my own hangups about alarm training. Next week we're seeing the Constipation Nurse, I'll mention the night wetting and see what she says about training. If we do try it, I think I'll buy a couple of cheap quilts and get cracking sooner rather than wait for good weather.

Oink, no he rarely gets up in the night, which is surprising since he used to wet several times a night. We have the system of going to the loo twice before bed (loo- wash- PJs -loo- bed). I do think it is important to get on top of the constipation too, so I am glad you are seeing the constipation nurse. I was surprised by how quickly the alarm helped ds to become aware of his needs. Ds is not fully dry now - wet beds happen occasionally, and especially if constipation is a problem) but desmomelts help for those occasions when he is away from home. I would go back to using the alarm (we went back several times to reinforce when things started to slip) but ds (who is older now, and doesn't like the sensor near his 'bits') became resistant (he has LD, so would like to think he is completely dry).
I had several washable bed pads and thin cheap duvets, that could fit in the washing machine. Ikea used to do some cotton covered summer duvets with bright covers, but you see similar elsewhere. You can always put a thicker duvet on top, using the thin duvet as a upper soaker layer IYSWIM if its too cold. Having a comfortable cover meant I could avoid washing duvet covers as well (the duvet always got wet any way). One word of warning though. Its somehow more exhausting to be woken by a loud alarm (that you have to get to fast before the whole street are disturbed) than by a cry for help from a child. So its a good idea to pick a not too demanding time to get started. If you use absorbent pant pads to hold/hide the sensor its a good idea to have a spare sensor already assembled, ready for changing, as its a bit fiddly in the night. There are now pant style alarms (with the sensor woven into the fabric) which might suit an older child better, and I think it is what I would choose now if we were starting again.
Good luck