This will be long sorry!
My DD is 7 yrs old and in Year 2.
She's having trouble with a girl in her class who I'll call Libby.
Libby was friends with a girl called Becky in Reception. The teachers told their mums that they should widen their friendship group as they were too dependent on each other. Libby then started playing with my DD and they've been firm friends since.
Libby was very possessive of Becky and didn't like her playing with anyone else and really struggled with Becky playing with another child. Libby was still included in their games etc but she still wanted Becky all to herself.
Fast forward to Year 2 and there's still the same issues of Libby being possessive of Becky and not wanting my DD to play with her. Trouble is Becky wants to play with my DD and not so much Libby.
I've encouraged DD to play with other kids in her class at break, which she will do, but then Becky wants to play with her so follows her and Libby obviously wants to play with Becky so follows as well so she can't get away from her!!
Libby does things like letting everyone else hold her teddy and then when it's DD's turn she'll say 'My bear doesn't know you, you can't hold her'. This is after DD has shared her bears with her. Also things like 'I'm only Becky's friend, not yours'.
There's many more things like that but I can't list every example! Just general unpleasantness.
I always tell DD to be kind and still include Libby in her games because that's what nice people do but then I'm worried that I'm sending the wrong message to her that she should put up with horrible behaviour no matter what??
Even though she'd being upsetting my DD I do feel sorry for Libby. Not many of the kids want to play with her as she bosses everyone about and sabotages their games. Then when Libby doesn't get her own way she runs to the playground helpers/teachers and tells them that 'everyone is being mean to me'.
Is this just what girls are like?
How can DD not play with Libby without looking like the bad guy? I've told her not to do a massive 'I'm not playing with you anymore' thing and just quietly slip away at break but what I said above about Becky then following and Libby then following happens.
What shall I say to the teacher? I've written a few times and been in to speak to the teacher but Libby's behaviour towards DD never changes.
DD was sobbing last night saying that she doesn't feel comfortable at school because of Libby and that she wants to 'run away from school'. She told me that the only reason she's still going to school is so I don't go to prison for not sending her!! It's really affecting DD now and she's having trouble sleeping, tears in the morning before school etc.
I know that DD isn't a perfect angel and I'm sure she's said thing out of turn to Libby before but whenever I've spoken to the teachers they say that DD's name has never come up and it is Libby that they need to talk to.
DD's brother is in her class as well and when I've asked him (separately from DD) he backs up what she's saying and says that Libby is 'aggressive to DD' and 'gets in her face'. When I've asked if he ever sees DD being mean to Libby he said that no he doesn't and that Libby is 'mean to everyone'.
Please help! I don't know what more to do...