Offered great school place 'in year' but...

[Crankycarp]

... I'm having collywobbles about accepting - do I just need to get on with it or are my fears warranted?
Backstory: moved a year ago and Ds1 started at a good /nurturing infant school with not so good linked junior school about 3 miles away whilst staying on the waiting list for more local schools. He's currently in yr 1. Today he's been offered our second choice school which is exceptionally nice and although I'm delighted I'm worried how he'll adjust another big change having moved less than a year ago. He has mild Aspergers and he found the move tough - still asks to move back almost 12 months later :(

The pros of moving are:

• offered school much closer - can walk every day
• offered school goes right through to end of primary rather than requiring junior transfer at the end of year 2
• offered school scores markedly better in Sat's than current linked Junior school
• I don't get warm and fuzzy' about DS's prospective Junior school - very stark feeling about it
• not overly enamoured with Ds1's current school BF, he's a bit mean and controlling and a move would enable Ds to potentially make a kinder BF.
• accepting the place would make deciding where to apply for Ds2 's reception place easier - curently due to application dates / son's ages there is a real risk of them getting into different local schools and having a nightmare school run every day.

Cons:

• I'm scared moving again so soon might break Ds1's heart and set him back accademically
• ds2 attends the infant school nursery currently so I will have a tricky school run until I get him a local space too.
• cost of buying whole new uniform - it's totally different at new school ( this is not a huge thing though) Positives on paper outway the negatives but the potential negative effect on Ds1 concerns me greatly WWYD?

Sounds to me as if the move would be the best thing for him, but you are anxious about how he will feel about it.

I speak as a parent of a child with ASD, I would make the move, but put a lot of effort into managing the transition. Several visits, settling in days, social stories, and even a staggered / part time start. Do you think the new school would accommodate this - if not - they may not be the best school to move to in any case!

Move. It's a no brainer. Your DS1 is only in year 1. Friendships change and his best friend may not stay as that or move away. You cannot remain in a school just for one dodgy friendship and you are not moving house so the friendship could be maintained if he wants that. It won't be that easy for him to move but for your whole family, it's definitely better. To have a through primary, your DS2 will get sibling priority (check that) and a walk to school is a very positive outcome. You also like the school. Can your DS be persuaded to see the merits of the new school? Like walking there? Have they got clubs he will like? How can you sell it to him?

Thank you Milly and Martha - That's really encouraging :) :) the new school is quite sporty which is another pro - Ds1 is a bit of a Minecraft-aholic so being encouraged to do more activity would also be a really positive.

Move - I had the same with dd1. We moved to the area so took whatever place they could give us - which was 3 miles away. Was on waiting list for local schools and in meantime had to apply for dd2. Took a chance and applied for the local school but at that stage no leavers so did not look like dd1 would get a place. Then after Christmas someone moved - we got a place for dd1 then got offer for dd2. Dd1 settled into the new school really well. Best thing all round was that we could walk to school and friends were local and in walking distance too.

That's so true Fan - having friends on the doorstep would lovely - another def +++.
We are only having 1 school related play date this half term week as we are a little out of the way for other school families - esp for non drivers.

I would accept the place, but also talk to the school about how best to handle the transition. Make sure you have a good frank and open meeting with new teacher and senco about the move, and what things need to be in place for him, and what they can offer to help him settle.

As he is going to have to move in a year or so, its probably better to get this over with now - even if it is difficult.

Yes I agree Mummy - that's very true, better to move now than in a year and a half when he'll have cemented his friendships further.

I would move my child if I was in your shoes but as Martha said meet with new and current school to do lots of transition work. Also have a meeting with the SENCO about your child's needs. Having local friends will be wonderful for your child (and handy for you). Good luck with it.

I would have a chat to the SENCO's in both schools (ie. the offered school and the Junior of current school). Is the new school good on their SN provision? It may be sporty but what about taking care of ASD kids? In fact, if it is sporty, it may just encourage sporty kids and leave out others who may not do the school team any favours (in my experience). It is so so important to how your son manages the rest of his school life, so I would really make sure about the environment, and what they foster as it may be good on paper for 'normal' kids bur really bad for those who require more nurturing and help. I think a chat on how they were planning on handling the transfer would be great and very telling.

Move and play the long game. Much better all round