Moving DD midterm from private primary to state primary - advice please

[Nomster]

Practical advice needed please. I have been offered a place this week in a voluntary aided catholic primary school for my 5 year old DD who is currently in Year 1 at a lovely private school. The new school is classed as 'Outstanding' and was actually my first choice for my daughter when we applied at reception entry time. However she didn't get in then and we got a place at her current private school instead which I'm really happy with. Our problem is our finances have changed in the past year, the fees of the current school we've recently learnt will be increased more than inflation, which we can afford for another year at least, after that who knows. If my DD takes the place at the state catholic school our DS who is currently 2 will also secure a place too. It will save us a small fortune, and I am concerned at how we will manage two lots of fees. We were supposed to move home last year, which is why I took the private place, thinking it would be temporary, but now we're staying put.

My dilemma is my daughter is just so happy at her current school and is flourishing there. She has great friendships and talks about her school, teacher and friends constantly and it breaks my heart to move her, when it is now down to helping out our finances.

I do have other reservations about her entering the catholic system too (my husband is of catholic faith, I am not). Whilst I can see that it will ease the pressure on my husband and I financially to move her, I'm worried about the damage and stress it could put my DD under.

Am I being over sensitive here and should I just be grateful there is a decent primary school which she can move to?

This has nothing to do with private schools vs state schools, I just would like some advice on how to handle the move and to hear if any other mums netters have had to deal with any similar situations when finances have been tight?

We were in a weirdly similar position a few years ago. We took the decision to move Dd1 from a private to a state primary in yr2. I can't lie. It was a very very hard decision to make and we felt that we were letting her down. It was very upsetting for everyone as she loved her school and had made some lovely friends. However that was a few years ago and she is now in yr7 and I can positively say that it was absolutely the right decision. Within a few weeks she had settled in and she was suddenly able to have play dates with children who lived in the same village and could meet friends in the park etc. She is still best friends with those girls she met in her first few weeks at primary and they have all gone to the same secondary. Children are wonderfully resilient. I think it is harder for us parents!!!

They make friends quickly at 5, and half the the class will be tripping over themselves to be friends with the new girl. I think the anticipation is often worse than the reality.

YY to playdates, and being around especially at pick up if you possibly can. I think it is really important for you to keep reminding yourselves of everything that you liked about her new school, and the fact that it was your first choice initially. She will take her lead from you - even if she is not keen at first, she will pick up on your enthusiasm. Much better to focus on it being a positive choice than explain the finances. See if she can go on a visit or two beforehand, maybe spend some time with her new class. Make sure she has all the right uniform, pe kit, shoes. Try to arrive early to start with so she is not going into a classroom of 30 kids.

Just to add that it's not unusual for pupils to move across to the state sector from private while they are on the waiting lists for their preferred school OP.
Your child won't be aware that the school attends involves paying fees to go there so I wouldn't mention the fees issue to her. I would explain that this school was your first choice and moving her when a place became available was part of your plan. However you haven't been able to mention it until now as you had no idea when a place would be available. I would also highlight all the positive aspects of the new school.
I am sure it will all work out for you.