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Primary education

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Original poster

Age appropriate books?

16 replies

revstevew · 06/02/2015 17:18

My 7 yr old son (YR3) has just brought a book home from his school library "How my body works - Growing up". The book covers amongst its topics sex, contraception, and other related areas. Is it unreasonable to think that 7 is to young to be reading this information? The rest of the book is harmless, its just the one section I'm not happy about, especially as we haven't been asked our views on Sex Ed, and feel the decision on when to have "the talk" has been forced on us

OP posts:

Hakluyt · 06/02/2015 17:22

He's 7. He should know all about it already in my opinion. Just think, you don't have to have 'The talk" now!

overmydeadbody · 06/02/2015 17:24

Well presumably your DS chose the book himself, which means he wants to know about his body. By 7 he should already know about all that stuff. You don't have to have 'the talk' unless he asks, he has a book all about it!

LePetitMarseillais · 06/02/2015 17:49

Who has "the talk", don't you just tell them as things crop up and answer questions truthfully?My 3 all knew pretty much everything by 7.

Fleurdelise · 06/02/2015 18:14

I feel quite bad: what do you mean by "by 7 they should know pretty much everything?"

Dd is 7 (8 in August) still believes in Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy, she knows close to nothing about reproduction let alone contraception.

She knows basics like periods, that a baby grows from a seed planted by the dad in the mum's tummy, she never asked how therefore we never explained. She knows how a baby is born. I am sure she will one day ask the question and we will explain then but I feel it will be totally inappropriate to sit her down now and explain a sexual act.

I feel sometimes that we are forcing children out of childhood a bit too early?

Am I being wrong?

LePetitMarseillais · 06/02/2015 18:19

My dc are 11,11 and 10 and only recently got skeptical re FC.No rushing of childhood here. But by 7 they had asked pretty much everything and been told pretty much everything including how babies are born both ways.I don't get the angst.

Hakluyt · 06/02/2015 18:24

I honestly don't see why knowing about sex forces them out of childhood. Ignorance and innocence are not the same thing.

Fleurdelise · 06/02/2015 18:29

I am not saying you should not explain or lie when asked. But I can't see why I should sit her down now at 7 and explain a sexual act. She does know the sexual parts are involved because we discuss child abuse matters. But if she doesn't care yet should I explain?

I am not arguing, I am asking if I maybe should even if she doesn't seem to want to know yet.

And yes, for me childhood means innocence including not being covered with info about sexual intercourse when you did not display any signs of interest in this direction. I may be wrong of course.

Olivo · 06/02/2015 18:38

My DD is 81/2, she knows how babies get out but not how they get in. She still believes in tooth fairy and FC, she knows nothing about periods, sex or anything. She hasn't asked, I would tell her if she did ( I teach sex ed!) but don't feel the need till she asks!

LePetitMarseillais · 06/02/2015 18:39

I've never discussed child abuse matters but yes I did answer them correctly when they asked how the sperm and egg met.

ChocolateWombat · 06/02/2015 18:47

Personally, I think it is good to answer questions as they arise. If however, no questions have been asked by 8 or 9 I would be finding a way to start the conversation at a basic level.
The book itself might prompt the questions. Or you could use it to see if there are any questions.
There is no need to cover everything in one go.

From age 3, in rough order, we have covered;

babies in tummies
babies coming out of lady bits
babies made by woman's egg and mans seed
penis in vagina for seed to get to egg
eggs released monthly and not used causes periods
sanitary towels and tampons
people have sex not just to make babies and basic contraception

Child is now 10 and as yet has not had sex ed at school but will this year.

Child knows this stuff and does not give it much thought at all. It is just information like lots of other information.
Is certainly still very innocent - knowing these facts have not made him interested in the slightest in girls or sex. As far as he thinks about it,it's all grown ups stuff which is miles away.

Fleurdelise · 06/02/2015 18:51

Olivo I totally agree. Dd knows about periods because she came into the bathroom when I forgot to lock it so I had to explain. She knows about babies how they are made as she asked age around 5. I told her then that dad plants a seed and baby grows, she didn't yet ask how the seed is planted.

We discussed the fact that sexual bits are private and she should not allow anybody to touch them.

She knows how a baby comes out (naturally and c section) because she asked and I explained.

I will of course explain about the technical side of things when she asks, I am sure she will one day but I believe in doing it naturally without offering info not requested yet.

I am though wondering if I should volunteer information knowing that kids her age could paint the wrong picture in some cases.

Fleurdelise · 06/02/2015 18:56

Thank you Chocolate I think I found my answers. I will take advantage of future occasions to offer more info even if question not directly asked.

As a reply to the OP's question I think I would naturally ask if he is interested in the subject and we would read it together. My dd brings fairy books from school so no such occasions though for me

meglet · 06/02/2015 19:03

Just tell him.

My dc's (8 & 6) know about it and they still believe in the tooth fairy and easter bunny which is a frigging nightmare because I have to hide the eggs before they wake up. They never asked how babies were made or born, I took the lead and made sure they had that information.

ErrolTheDragon · 06/02/2015 19:12

The first book my DD ever chose when she was in Reception was The Life Cycle of the Snail. So I got to do hermaphrodite sex with her at the age of 4. (There was a whole series of these books which she steadily worked through).

OP, the book sounds OK to me but it's your call whether there's anything your DS isn't mature enough for yet.

elfonshelf · 09/02/2015 21:27

I think 7 is old to NOT know about this kind of thing.

My parents bought me a fantastic book back in the 1970's that appeared in the bookcase when I was about 4. It's Dutch and extremely frank and detailed about everything from male and female bits, what happens during arousal, detailed diagrams of penetration, baby growing, birth, breast-feeding and so on.

I put the book in DD's bookcase and she found it last year. We've had it as her bedtime story choice rather often, and between that and OBEM, she knows pretty much everything from conception to birth.

We haven't tackled puberty at all - other than why I have boobs and she doesn't. She's almost certain to have a very late puberty, so unless she asks me questions, I'll leave that to school and she can learn with her friends.

Sex Ed early is very important imo.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 09/02/2015 22:46

My 8 year doesn't know much and as yet hasn't asked. I teach sex ed so completely comfortable talking about it, but would rather wait for her to raise the topic. They have the talk next year at school so if she hasn't asked by then, we'll have the chat then. She's not particularly mature (emotionally or physically) so no rush.
We have however been discussing swear words and she's taken to checking out certain words to see whether they are swear words or not. I wish I'd kept a note of them as they've been quite funny and most are quite innocent.

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