Hi Asleep:
Kind of surprised as my impressions was teacher's treated fellow teachers better than we normal parents - and were willing to talk about targets/ expectations/ performrance/ pedagogy much more openly with fellow teachers than us mere parents.
Do you think this might be more a personal issue - the individual concerned is a bit intimidated by you?
Personally I was at a school where DD1 had virtually no maths homework in Year 1 - and when she did it was colouring in patterns. She certainly didn't have work with actual numbers sent home.
I think if you are worried - have a look at on-line tutorials - there are many out there Komodo Maths/ Mathletics/ maths whiz/ Khan academy (although I'm not sure if it starts as young as this) and Mathsfactor.
We went mathsfactor (late Y2 - once it was obvious there was a serious problem - as in DD1 couldn't take 1 from 10) because it offered:
tuition
clear explanation (because it was video DDs could review instructions until they 'got it')
visual explanation (examples of concepts shown pictorially without numbers)
explanation of terminology - including imployment accepted mathematically terminology over what sometimes occurs in primary schools (i.e. DDs taught 4 + 4 = 8 is read four add four makes eight - when my natural preference would be four plus four (as indeed + is the plus symbol) equals (as indeed = is the equal(s) symbol) eight.
explanation of new methods - e.g. chunking, deconstructing, etc....
explanation of mathematical laws/ principles - commutative principle (that a multiplication is the same forwards or backwards - e.g. 2 x 4 = 4 x 2)
practice - games & homework.
Personally - in despair we opted for this and found that putting in about 1 hour over a week (so 10-15 minutes here and there 5x a week) resulted in phenomenol improvement in ability/ skill and, especially, understanding/ appreciation of number patterns. Ultimately resulted in our child doing amazingly well at KS2 SATs.
I think like anything - the difference is a good teacher. The beauty of the changes coming educationally is that if as a parent you don't particularly like/ approve of your school's approach you can in fact opt to do it differently at home.
Once the frustration & worry is removed from the equation - as a parent - you can become very relaxed about what they're doing for maths in school - it really doesn't matter - it just reinforces what they're actually learning at home. I certainly was a much happier bunny once both girls went over to mathsfactor - it got them to very solid ability levels and has more than prepared DD1 for senior school and it absolutely didn't matter whether maths was happening or not at school.
HTH