Hi Campaspe:
So been there. So first off I absolutely understand your frustration and your daughter's struggles and possibly bad attitude toward maths. It sounds to me like she is struggling to understand concepts and some of the mechanics of basic addition/ subtraction.
I think the first issue is the place value/ addition of numbers over 20 (i.e. learning to carry - not just on paper but mentally). I think once you leave off all fingers and toes conceptually working out additions beyond that can be a bit tricky.
So try something to work on that place value/ carrying issue which seems more like you're just playing a game with her:
Play 21/ black jack. Ace = 1/ 2 - 9 as marked/ Jack, Queen and King all equal 10. Object is to get as close to 21 as possible or equal it, without going over. If you go over 21 you're out.
Each player is dealt two cards. Say you get a jack and a four. 14. Do you stay put or take another card. I'll risk it - you're dealt a 5. Now you have 19. Stay put or risk it. and so on.....
Really works mental addition and all those number bonds.
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Snakes & ladders (with more than one dice) or backgammon. Start off with counting on - but gradually encourage your child to do the additions in her head.
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Number bond SNAP.
Easy version - for numbers to 20 (working 1 - 10 number bonds).
Take ordinary deck of cards - Ace = 1 and 2-9 as marked. Jack/ Queen/ King all = 10. Set a target - say 17 - write this down on a piece of paper. Flip over first card. Say it's an 8. What + 8 = 17. First to shout out 9 wins the card. Once you've gone through the entire deck the winner is the one with most cards.
More complex version - for numbers to 100.
Again - ordinary deck of cards. Ace = 1/ 2 - 9 as marked but Jack - 10/ Queen = 20 and King = 30. Decide a target - say it's 66. (I tend to write this down on a post-it - so there aren't disputes later - that kind of family - DH cheats!).
Anyway - this is slightly more complex - you flip two cards. Say your total is Jack + 8 = 18. What + 18 = 66.
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For subtraction:
play snakes and ladders backwards - using more than one dice (may have to play the board more than once).
play snap games - but take flipped card(s) away from target number - so target could be 38, flip a jack and an 8 you get 18 - so 38 - 18 = what?
DD1 really struggled with this - so we worked a lot with food. I found grapes & raisins worked really well for this. So take the same problem 38 - 18. present it as food. each tens digit is a grape and each unit digit is a raisin - 38 is 3 grapes and 8 raisins. You want to take away 18. So that's 1 grape for 1 ten and 8 raisins for 8 units (Put them on another plate). What do you have left on the first plate. 2 grapes and no units. So that's 2 tens = 20 and 0 = 20. So 38 - 18 = 20.
Then you can move on to problems that require borrowing. Keep ten raisins to the side for 'cashing in). So let's say you had 34 - 18 as a problem.
You'd start with 3 grapes and 4 raisins. Let's just start with the units first (because procedurally you always start with the units). Can you take 8 from 4 - no we don't have enough raisins. Right we'll have to cash in a grape for 10 raisins (10 units). That gives us 2 grapes (two tens) and 14 raisins (14 units). Now we can take away 8 units. What is 14 - 8. (If your DC doesn't know then eat 8 raisins or remove them and count what is left) - It's 6. So we've now got 2 grapes and 6 units (26) and we need to take away ten (one grape) (remember we've taken away the 8 units but not the 1 ten yet). So eat a grape/ remove a grape - you get 1 grape and 6 units or 16. so 34 - 18 = 16.
Now if you teach her that she can check her work by adding the answer (16) to what she took away (18) - she should get the original large number (34) - and in fact 16 + 18 = 34
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From what you say I would try taking time out now to get addition/ subtraction sorted out and develop speed/ ability is not really a problem. Your DC can catch up swiftly on multiplication later, but without these skills will seriously struggle with more complicated (ye olde long) multiplication/ division.
When you start learning times tables - there are all sorts of tricks but the most important thing is for you to approach it a bit mathematically - so by year 2 your child should have learned to count by 2s, 5s and tens - that's really the first 3 times tables you will learn.
x0 and X1 tend to be glossed over - but ensure she knows anything x 0 = 0 and anything x 1 = itself.
x3 is next - you can learn to count by 3s, you can use the lines on your fingers as a hand calculator. (it tend to count tips of thumbs because they don't have 3 lines, but all fingers have 3 lines) - so 4 x 3. Hold up 4 fingers, count the lines, 1-2-3 (1 x 3)/ 4 - 5- 6 (2 x 3)/ 7 - 8 - 9 (3 x 3)/ 10 - 11 - 12 (4 x 3). 4 x 3 = 12.
Once you have these core times tables you're home free. Just need to appreciate that x 2 is the same thing as doubling (taking a number and adding it to itself - i.e. 3 x 2 is the same thing as 3 + 3 both equal 6 and 9 x 2 is the same thing as 9 + 9 - both equal 18).
So with doubling you can unlock x4/ x6/ x8/ x12 tables:
x4 - double x2 facts
x6 - double x3 facts
x8 - double x4 facts or double x2 facts and double again
x12 - double x6 facts or double x3 facts and double again.
That leaves x9 and x11 - which have all sorts of tricks (I've posted extensively on that elsewhere) to learn based on number patterns and if you save x7 for last - because you've learned it for all over tables you really only have 7 x 7 left - and I fine if you remember 7x7 is a swine - you can remember that 7 x 7 = 49, since it rhymes.
but....as I said - get addition/ subtraction sorted out first & solid! Then tackle multliplication.
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There are some great free on-line maths sites with games that may be of help:
Woodlands Junior School Maths Zone: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/maths/ - just select the area you want to work on and then have an explore of the various educational games/ resources and see which might help with your particular issue at the moment.
Maths Champs: this is divided into age bands - which can be a bit off putting for children who are behind - but the games are great fun and it does provide useful practice under pressure - so ideal for building up speed, once the skill is learned. www.mathschamps.co.uk/#home
BBC Bitesize KS1 (select highest difficulty) - may also help in places: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/ks1/maths/ - your daughter may be resistant to this as she's KS2 - but this will give practice at core concepts and KS2 Bitesize is really intended for Y5/Y6 children.
If your DD gets to a place where she wants more problems to solve:
mathsdrills offers free worksheets: www.math-drills.com/
worksheet works (a US website) also has lots of useful maths worksheets & you can control difficult/ number of problems per page: www.worksheetworks.com/ - both will allow you to print out answer sheets.
If she starts to get to quite like maths and see the puzzle element as fun - try visitng NRICH maths (from Cambridge University) which has all sorts of maths problems to solve and stretch your DC: nrich.maths.org/frontpage
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I'm not familiar with mathletics - but I think you need to examine whether your child is having methods clearly explained to her. It's not just guesswork - mathematics really is procedure and understanding when & why certain methods are applied.
If you're in despair and really struggling can I advise you to try one more on-line tutorial.
For us DD1 had very unclear explanation of how to do maths in school and was muddling concepts. She was a bit at sea - so we opted for mathsfactor. Carol Vorderman presents this - a woman role model is important for girls to see I think - and because it's video, she's always happy and encouraging and amazingly positive about how much fun maths can be. Your child can rewind and watch it over and over until she 'gets it'. If mathletics isn't providing slow & clear explanation (with visual demonstrations reinforcing concepts) of how to perform certain skills - i.e. this is how we add using carrying/ multiplication is really multiple additions/ division is sharing things out equally etc.... then perhaps you need to try mathsfactor and see if this doesn't help. It certainly demystifies the language and the slow and steady (yes old fashioned) approach really can help give confidence to a struggling little mathematician.
I hope that helps.
PSBD