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Primary education

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Original poster

if you divorced or were sperated do you got to paretns evenign seperately?

44 replies

cod · 16/10/2006 16:18

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GhoulsToo · 16/10/2006 16:19

I suppose if they really hate each other - as long as they show a united front to the children ..........

wouldn't have thought the teachers would allow it tbh - time and all that

Original poster
cod · 16/10/2006 16:21

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Ladymuck · 16/10/2006 16:22

So far all of the parents in ds's class are still together so haven't seen this in practice. You have to sign up for your slot and they don't tend to have more slots than children.

Ladymuck · 16/10/2006 16:22

OK - now that is odd!

GhoulsToo · 16/10/2006 16:22

they live in the same house!? and go to separate appointments!?

barmy

hulababy · 16/10/2006 16:23

When I was teaching I was only able to see the parents of a child once in an evening. I didn't have enough time to see two sets of parents, sue to the number of children I neede dto get through each night. Separated parents would need to come together, or they could arrange to see me at another time at a mutually agreable time.

hauntymandy · 16/10/2006 16:23

we go together, they are still our children. But i suppose its up to you!

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 16/10/2006 16:24

I imagine the teachers are thrilled!

HowwwlidaymumsSalemPilgrimage · 16/10/2006 16:27

Ok its not as simple as DUR grow up!
I go to parents evening with my ex going tonight, no probs all get on fine!

dh struggles with his exp as she will argue with him in front of teacher and she won't let me go even though sd wants me to! I went once and it was humiliating for everyone. Have held back since but sd really wants me involved as I'm the one who helps her most with homework etc.
his exp has refused separate appointments, however she has attended less that 50% parent evenings and never rarely us notice if she doesn't show.
Dh has decided that from now on it has to be separate appointents.

bluejelly · 16/10/2006 16:27

Together. Though ex has only come to one

zippitippitoes · 16/10/2006 16:30

think we split it the same way as before divorce..

I went!

spook · 16/10/2006 16:31

Well-I totally understand it if relations between the couple are strained but if they are living in the same house FFS.
I must admit I've been to a few with my exh and it was horrible,uncomfortable and v upsetting.
Being in that close proximity is v odd for me.
But for the sake of the teacher I would never request a seperate appointment. I've got one coming up on Nov 7th and am just praying exh will be away on business.

taMummy · 16/10/2006 16:33

In dh's case he never got to go because the letter went to his ex and she never told him until it was too late. Mind you he never goes to ours come to think of it, I always do....

Tommy · 16/10/2006 16:51

when I was a teacher I had a couple who had a row while they were sitting at my desk supposedly talking about their daughter...

The next year I had to see them separately - as far apart from each other as i could manage!

It's a PITA for teachers - you don't always get enough time for one appointment per child, never mind two.

Original poster
cod · 16/10/2006 17:18

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HowwwlidaymumsSalemPilgrimage · 16/10/2006 17:23

lol at that cod! my dh's exp will try anything to not speak to us! He always tells her whats been said when she doesn't go but doubt that would be reciprocal. She acrually told him if he wanted to know what the Dr said he'd have to call the dr that was the first time in years she had been to gp as well he normally does it.

Cappuccino · 16/10/2006 17:26

it might be that one annoys the bejesus out of the other

it's not the same situation but - my stepdad always wanted to go with my mum to be Supportive and she wished he would stay the feck at home cos he always asked really stupid questions and wasted the alloted time

really stupid questions like about how the exam system worked etc and she would be fuming

so maybe if you've ditched the eejit cos he's dim as can be, you don't want him messing up your quality teacher time

disemboweledbint · 16/10/2006 17:27

i remember as a child feeling totally shit cos i had to arrange 2 appointments for my parents, not only that but one had to be very early, the other had to be very late, just so they didn't god forbid see each other.

Original poster
cod · 16/10/2006 17:33

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Original poster
cod · 16/10/2006 17:33

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nikkie · 16/10/2006 21:57

My xh asks stupid questions too!
We go together but sometimes he can't make the appointments and doesn't bother.

portonovo · 17/10/2006 10:25

I think if there's any animosity, it's best to go separately. However, that probably makes it quite hard for the teacher and the parents, and could make it almost impossible to get a united front to tackle any issue.

However, if it means a case of separate appointments, I would think it fair if the teacher insisted that be at another time and not necessarily on parents' evening.

caroline3 · 17/10/2006 11:08

I tell ex dh when the appointments are and he usually comes along. Shortly after we divorced we had a big row in front of dd's teacher which was not particularly grown up of us!! Still tensions were running high at that time. Things have calmed down a bit now (3 years on) and we can usually manage to sit down for 5/10 mins together.

If ex dh had continued being out of order I would not have told him about appointments and left him to approach school. I think he does have a right to come however as he is the parent. I guess the school might try to arrange additional appointment but would be reluctant due to time pressures.

NOMurDErousPLUME · 17/10/2006 11:09

DH and his ex wife alternate parents evenings. We go for both DSs one year and exW and her H go the next year.

Bugsy2 · 17/10/2006 11:11

I intensely dislike my ex-H, but I am still prepared to go to parent's evening with him. I feel that we should try and be joint parents for our children (even though he is a tw@t) and if that means every follicle on my body bristles for the 15 mins we are with the teachers together, I put my issues on hold for the chldren.
Obviously, if there are issues of domestic violence separate appointments are probably a must.