Opinions needed - DD and Primary (long)

[nandl]

Hi all,

Am feeling a bit stressed out, as not sure what to do about my DD and her primary school (entry this September at 4+).

Currently she's attending a great school (private), but it's really testing us as it's so far away for us to keep up till she's 7 (45mins each way), and moving closer is also not on the cards. DH does the morning run, I do the pick up. DS is only 5 months, so this is hard work!!

Although we've put her down for some other private schools (Habs, Channing, Heathside, Hampstead Hill), I'm wondering if we shoudl really be looking at our local state schools (plus entry into any of the above isn't guaranteed by a long shot!).

With the local schools, my main worry is how DD will cope with the larger class sizes, and reduced supervision/teacher input. DD is quite shy, so I'm not sure whether a large class will help her or not (current school class size is small, so wondering if she'd get lost in a larger group. Then again, potential friends are limited and no-one's local to us currently, so maybe am looking at it in the wrong way).

There's also an age factor - since almost everyone who will eventually try for the 7+ or 11+ is going to be using private tutoring, does it REALLY matter if the school is amazing or not? At 4-7 years old they're not learning trigonometry, so maybe we should be focussing more on the social and community side than purely academics? ie: if it comes down to "ok" local school (30 kids/class), or 90min trek (45+45) amazing school (say 20 kids/class with more teachers), between 4-7, what would you pick?

Finally, our DD is very young in the year (August born), so would also really like to somehow defer her entry by a year if possible. I have no idea what the best way is of doing that, but am even more worried that if we apply to somewhere like NLCS at say 7+, they're going to reject her as she's too old (though still in the right class if you see what I mean?). I know when we spoke to the private schools about applying for 4+ a year late, they all said it wasn't an option unless we had medical reasons or a teacher report(?!).

If you've gotten this far, thank you!!! =)

Nandl
PS: Probably edited this 10 times, so hope it all makes sense!

I know very little of the private system but do have an August born child who is now in Y1.

Any anxiety I may have had about her getting lost in a class of 30 was quickly removed when I realised they do almost everything in small groups (in her class in YR there were 5 groups of 6, in her Y1 class there are 5 groups but the biggest has 8 children and the smallest 4 as it's all done by ability).

My tiny (2nd centile and August born) daughter adores school, has loads of friends, is doing brilliantly and her teacher and TA know exactly who she is and how she is doing. We live 4 miles from school - rurual area and 50% from out of catchment - but have been adopted into village life in a big way and it's ace having a good community. She also gets to go on the school bus 2 days a week which she loves

The application deadline for starting state school Sept 2015 is 15 Jan. You can do it online but you've missed your chance to look round the schools. Is there not any other private school closer to you?

August borns thrive in state schools. Don't forget there is normally a very good TA in the class to so ratio is 1-15 and they do lots of small group work and play based learning. I think it's a huge benefit to deal with more kids and diversity

Don’t stress out at this stage, because you’re imagining all the things that could go wrong in the future… but they haven’t happened yet. The vast majority of children in this country go to a local state school. Don’t be afraid of it. Get an application in now, so that you can see what you think when you get the offer and arrange a chance to go see the school. It is also true, as foot says, that state schools usually have two teachers per class… the main teacher plus a teaching assistant (TA). In reception, they follow the Early Learning Years Framework, in which children learn through guided play. It often works really well for summer-born children. There are many good things about state teaching of 4-7 year olds these days. Of course, it depends on the school… but don’t be surprised if they can deal with Special Educational Needs, summer-borns, bullying, or phonics better than private schools.

I personally wouldn’t want my DDs to be travelling a long way at this age because school is tiring (especially for a summer-born) and long travel will make evenings less fun. It won’t be long before she will be bringing books home and you will want to be listening to her read every night. If you want a private tutor—as you seem to indicate you do—or, at least, to support her school work in the evenings, it will be harder after a long, tiring day. And she may want to join Rainbows or gymnastics or dance club etc…. After school activities and family time is important.

But don’t stress out! This is only the beginning of a long journey. Go with the flow, get an application in immediately and then take time to make as good a decision as you can. That’s all you can do. If it does turn out that the school doesn’t work, you’ll come to review your decision later and figure out what to do to make things better then.

At this age, local school with local friends, assuming an OK school with reasonable results/ofsted/feel about it. This age is about making friends, playdates, walking to and from school with friends, etc.

Deferring a year will be nigh on impossible. State won't do it unless there is significant medical reason; it would normally be slightly easier in Private, but if you have already explored that route then not likely there either. In non-selective Privates it can be an option, but selectives are much less keen (otherwise loads of people would just put their kids in a year late to give them an advantage in the tests!)

Thanks to all for the advice - I think drkg hit the nail on the head - feel like in retrospect I'm worrying a bit too far ahead and just need to go with the flow.

PatriciaHolm also got it right, I spent this morning speaking to the top North London schools, and they all effectively said they wouldn't consider our DD if she was a year late (ie: 8 years old on 1/9 at 7+ entry).

In my heart, I want our DD to go to school locally, have playdates, fun, and most importantly time just to be a little girl. In my head I also want our girl to go to a top school like HBS, NLCS, Habs, SHHS etc. My OH thinks I'm a bit mental!

Am going to get the application in tonight for the local schools and see what happens. Fortunately, I actually went to the local state myself and did visit it last year!