How to make DS#1 concentrate?

[joelallie]

DS#1 was in tears this morning and didn't want to go to school. Eventually after loads of coaxing, getting cross, persuasion, I finally got the gist. He was sent out of Maths yesterday for 'getting an answer wrong' and she told him he had to get me to talk to her. Odd as Maths is one of his best subjects. Might have been more helpful if he'd told me yesterday...but DH picked them up and DS wouldn't have told him and then I expect he forgot all about it until this morning. Hmmm...thought I, perhaps I'll find out the whole story before I leap into angry mummy mode. Glad I did. She was really lovely and simply concerned. Apparently he goes into a dream and doesn't listen to a word - she's tried sitting him right at the front, making a joke out of it and getting the child next to him to give him a poke in the ribs if he 'drops off' and for a while he got better but apparently it's started again. Yesterday was very bad and when he couldn't repeat to her what she had said a moment she had enough. She wanted to see my because she was worried about him. No problem with all of that. Popped into his classroom to tell him what he's said and to try to reassure him that he wasn't in big trouble - he started crying again (and so did I a bit - I'm pathetic when they cry )_

But what can I do? He takes omega 3 as we found it helped with his behaviour generally. She reckoned he might have been tired but he's going to bed at a reasonable time (for him - he takes after DH and if you put him in bed at 8 he won;t got to sleep for hours). We can talk to him, explain etc etc but is there anything else we can do? Last year this problem was mentioned (although the term used was 'lazy'!!) and we did wonder if he had some kind of underlying developmental problem. But school did consider it but nothing came of it and anyway he seemed to be much happier this year and his hw is getting really good comments.

Any ideas ?

Sorry - that was all a bit stream of consciousness.... comes of typing in a hurry and NOT CONCENTRATING.

How old is DS1? We have some concentration issues with my DS1 (now 8 and in Y4). Last year one thing that helped was a simple reward system from the teacher. If he started his work straightaway, and finished it in the time allowed, he would get a sticker/smiley face. When he had 5 of these, he would get a merit, which they collect for awards from the head.

We also have bedtime problems and I was thinking of starting a thread specifically on that.

DH is 9. Last year was when these problems started. He is always in bed by 8.30 but often he'll still be awake an hour later. Can't force him to go to sleep I did wonder if this is happening now because he needs half term and he's simply tired.

My DS is nearly 7 and sounds just the same. He is very capable in class, and finds all the work and homework really easy. But can't be bothered with it, and sometimes doesn't get all his work done in class. Teacher says he is just easily distracted, and will be fiddling with his pencils or something instead.
We also have major bedtime problems, he could lie awake for hours every night, before sleeping, says his 'brain won't stop working' We don't know what to do about it, have tried most things.

Hmmm... this is interesting. DS is terrible at going to sleep and at waking up - his natural bedtime is about 10.30 and his natural waking time is abot 9.30!! DD takes after me and goes to sleep about 7.30 and wakes often before 6.

OK... new question. How do you get boys to go to sleep?

Hi

No good advice here either, but just to say my dd1 is the same. She younger though (6 and in Year 2) and I am hoping she'll grow out of it. Apparently she fidgets constantly and talks to herself the whole time and doesn't concentrate. She often ends up staying in at playtime to get her work done, and most worryingly when we are doing homework and things now she has started saying quite often things like 'I'm useless. I never get things right', which I find very upsetting. I asked the teacher if she had any good ideas to help, and she suggested a straitjacket. (I think she was joking!) I am about to borrow a book about 'brain gym' to see if there are any unobtrusive exercises which dd can do during carpet time etc so that she isn't waving her arms around, talking to herself and being disruptive. Last year we did have some success with 'worry beads' (giving her a bracelet of wooden beads which she was 'allowed' to fiddle with), but the teacher had to ask us not to send it in any more, as everyone wanted one and then she had mass fiddling going on instead of just dd's fiddling!! We also do the fish oils thing, though I'm not sure how much it helps, and I just talk to her about the importance of concentrating, etc. But the trouble is once she goes off in her dream world... well, she's gone! Will watch this thread with interest.

I once got DS1 one of those squishy tactile balls to squeeze while reading, in the hope it would stop him fidgeting, but all he ended up doing was focusing on the ball, which was a bit counterproductive.

As far as the sleeping, it's lights off at 8.30 for DS1 too, but he is often awake till 10. He puts the light back on or sits by the door to the landing drawing or reading or making up comics. He is foul in the morning and we often have to wake him. DS2 (5) is asleep by 7.30.

I've had similar problems with DS3, but he seems to be growing out of them (he's 7 and in Year 3 now). joelallie, I don't think parents can really do a lot about their children's behaviour at school. Is there something you can do at home that would give him some practice in concentrating? I'm not sure it would necessarily help his school work but it might do something for his self-esteem and your peace of mind.