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Please please help me to help her

35 replies

momb · 27/12/2014 16:00

YD (10) Y5.
She has what I would have thought was a lovely assignment: she's had for half a term and it's due in after the holidays.
Imagine a world (real or imaginary, future, past or present). Draw a map of it. Write 2 pages on the geography, inhabitants, how it runs etc. Write a 1 page autobiography of someone from this world. Write a 1 page story about something that happens. Convert your story to a comic strip. Write and design the front page of a newspaper. Design a poster advertising the place. Write a school report for a child. Make a cover. The whole thing needs to be first and second drafted. Each piece should take approx. one hour.
She has done a map of an imaginary future planet. That's it.
Not for lack of trying. Every day or two for the last couple of months she has sat down to do something. She has reams of notes I helped with (she talked about her imaginary word and I wrote. All she needs to do is put pen to paper. She just can't do it. We have had tears/tantrums/screaming every day for weeks now. The holidays are ruined, pretty much. She is completely uninspired/blocked. She gets out the folder and basically cries/screams, sobs, sighs for an hour. I am not forcing her to do it. She knows that it needs to be done. The deadline is in sight and this is hell. I've tried support, talking through, helping her google, offering typing support if she decides to word process. leaving her to it. I cannot do it for her.
I am at a loss. What else can I do to help? I've sent her to her room to calm down (hysterical because it has to be done and she cannot do it) and am sitting here in tears.

This is a child who off her own back enters 500 words every year, loves writing little stories, has an active imagination which she is always ready to share. Please help me to help her.

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SoonToBeSix · 28/12/2014 21:50

That is a ridiculous amount of work. You do know you can just tell the school your dd will not be doing the homework.

Hakluyt · 28/12/2014 22:47

I honestly don't think it's a ridiculous amount of work to do over 8 or 9 weeks. But I do think the teacher should have helped- giving some interim deadlines, maybe doing some of the work in school- that sort of thing. But it does sound as if she's on track now. If she gets a similar project next term, make a calendar and decide together when she does what. Break it down into manegable chunks and offer bribes or whatever works to get it done. It's an incredibly useful skill to learn.

momb · 30/12/2014 19:55

She's getting there but it is a shadow hanging over the holiday:
Done so far:
Map
Background/geography, culture etc
Poster
School report
Fiction Story

Tomorrow it'll be the cartoon strip. At this point she's definitely going for 'it's long enough so it's good enough' because the story she wrote today is really not as good as anything else she's done this year: has a great intro and then the ending is obviously rushed and poorly thought out :-(. Sad thing is she knows it too so I'm trying to be positive with her and jollying her along.

She (with my help) did try to do it a bit at a time during last term but she had homework 4 nights a week anyway and as this was so overwhelming it just got pushed back and back. Definitely a lesson in non-procrastination for the future. She'll get it done, but I think I may pop a note in her bag anyway. Having read all the comments here about some help with prep and organisation in school I do think that it has been sorely lacking and far too much left to her/me to sort out and organise.

Then I may not: under some pressure today she said that not everyone was given this assignment: most people were given a six page story book thing. Apparently this was given to the top set children plus her and one other. Maybe the top set kids were given help in class and this is a move to assess her for moving up sets? I know that her written work has been really good. If this is some kind of assessment for setting purposes though, I'm not sure if the extra pressure over the holidays has been worth it. Worst Christmas Holiday Ever!

Someone up-thread said that detention was unfair for primary school: it's a Middle deemed Secondary, so they run to Secondary rules. Detentions are the same thong as being kept in at break/lunch until you finish: just they label them.

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Hoppinggreen · 31/12/2014 19:28

That's awful, poor child. My year 5 had no homework at all over the holidays.
Well done for staymh so calm about it.

Elibean · 01/01/2015 17:05

There is no way dd (now Y6) would have been given such a long list of work to do without interim deadlines in Y5. It is, quite frankly, daft of the teacher to expect children of 9/10 to be able to organize their work to that extent. So I get her frustration, and yours, and the panic that she must be feeling too...

I would help, at this point, and use the whole experience as a lesson to her to ask for help faster in future. Not to expect her to organize 'better' necessarily, just to ask for help immediately when given the project iyswim.

Meanwhile, I think you're handling it very well indeed - keep chipping away, a little at a time, and do as much as you/she can and write a note for anything else.

Elibean · 01/01/2015 17:07

Incidentally, my Y6 child had some maths over the holidays (only two pages or so) but nothing else - their teacher knows they will be working hard over Easter with SATS only a couple of weeks away when they get back to school, so this holiday they had instructions to relax. Most of them have had flu anyway...

momb · 06/01/2015 22:00

For completeness: She went back to school today and handed the whole thing in. Twenty six A4 pages plus an A3 poster all bound into a folder with a decorated cover as instructed. She came home from school to tell me that she was the only one who'd done it: the others have been given until Friday at the latest and she was given a merit and ten house points for getting it in on time.
She doesn't get many merits so she is pleased. I don't think that the house points actually mean anything so that's by the by.
Still, she did her French vocabulary homework as soon as she walked through the door so I suppose she's learned something from the whole thing. I think that including panic/hysteria time the project must have taken her nearly 100 hours over the last half term/this holiday.
Thank goodness it's over!

OP posts:
SE13Mummy · 08/01/2015 00:35

Wow! What an involved homework project! Congratulations to your DD for persevering - I'm glad she was rewarded for her efforts at school although I can't help feeling she should have been given more merits/a week off.

If I set homework projects I generally go for much more open-ended tasks and go to great lengths to ensure children/parents understand that I'd like the children to choose one task/a single aspect that most interests them. I certainly wouldn't want any child spending 100 hours on a project because they were worried about detentions Sad.

As it happens, at the request of my literacy group, I set a project for them to do over the holiday. It was similar to your DD's in that it was based on an imaginary civilization as we had spent the previous half-term studying the book 'Weslandia'. The difference is that I asked the children to design or create a new civilization and to produce something that told me what it was like. So far, one has made a giant box model of his civilization complete with detailed description, another has produced a beautifully presented leaflet (drawing heavily on the work we did before Christmas), one has painted me a picture of different elements of the civilization and another handed me an A4 piece of paper with the beginnings of his ideas on it. All offerings were gratefully received although I am hoping that at least one of the others will have taken up my suggestion to create cake from their civilization for us to eat.

mrscumberbatch · 08/01/2015 00:58

Good for her. Hopefully the merit will give her some confidence for the next time she's faced with mountainous homework

AGnu · 08/01/2015 01:06

Wow! You & your DD are amazing. It'll be a story to tell for many years - "Remember that awful Christmas...?" How does she feel about being the only one who's done it? At that age I'd have been mortified if no-one else had done it... Never did like drawing any attention to myself!

I have, however, added this project to my ever-growing list of home-ed ideas! I'm getting overly excited about all the different projects we could use this format for - various historical eras, geography, notable historical individuals... astronomy...! My eldest is 3yo so it might be a while yet before I can get him imagining what life would've been like for a peasant in 1066... I should probably go to bed but I kinda want to do the project myself now! Blush Will definitely be adding a culinary aspect to all our projects... Wink

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